Growth and Change
by SnappleT
Summary: Even after his game gets unplugged, Ralph's strength and temper causes problems, especially in the fragile Sugar Rush. Bad-Anon reassures him that it's okay because that's just a part of who he is. However, the villain from FFJ's replacement sees the world differently. Can we really change our programming? Some OCs, but no pairings except Hero's Cuties.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

It was a typical Saturday for the residents of Fix-It Felix Jr.

Well, typical for a day after what Gene would call "the incident-that-shall-not-be-named."

Felix and Tamora woke up at six o' clock, about two hours before the arcade opened. Felix turned towards his lover and gazed into her eyes fondly.

"Mornin', Dynamite," Felix whispered tenderly.

"Morning," Tamora mumbled.

The smaller man inched his way to her and wrapped his arms around her waist. After a sleepy pause, she hugged his head, bringing it close to her stomach. Such an embrace made time fly by before the hour hand on the plain, Fifties style clock arrived at the seven. Felix unwittingly looked at it and jumped out of bed.

"Golly, it's time to get ready for work!" He started getting dressed. "You get suited up while I make pancakes and bacon."

His wife sat up straight and, with a warm smile, added "My favorite."

The married couple did just that, and at seven fifteen they had their breakfast. Just after they finished, Calhoun kissed Felix on his forehead and headed for the door. That was when Felix got a tiny bit antsy.

"Tammy! Wait!"

"Need anything, Fix-It?"

He leaped up and returned the favor. The soldier's hair rose up for a second, then laid itself back down as the unusual couple passionately kissed. Such passion faded as Tamora slowly put her husband down and, with a mild chuckle, left their room in the penthouse.

While Calhoun was boarding the train, Ralph, who had slept in "a little," growled when he saw his delicate, blue clock. It was seven forty.

The arcade would open in about twenty minutes.

"Ai yai yai..."

He forced himself up and lumbered over to his mirror. Combing his hair back with his hands, he hazily thought to himself over whether or not "his" tree grew apples last night. The giant gently opened the door, turned to the tree, and released a sigh of relief.

"Thought I'd go hungry today," he sleepily stated.

Ralph pressed the door closed with one finger, lumbered a foot or two, and tapped his tree with another finger. Four apples fell into his hand, and he popped one into his mouth as if it was a piece of candy. Gene's nasally voice was heard, gently urging Felix to get downstairs and into his position. The only man outside looked through the console's screen and at the arcade's door, which was plastered with kids.

Just as Ralph finished his breakfast and Felix left the penthouse, Mr. Litwak calmly announced that it was opening time. The children rushed inside and competed with each other for the first chance of the day to play their favorite games.

Unfortunately, Fix-It Felix Jr. was no longer one of those games. The bonus levels' novelty had worn off, luring kids back to games such as Hero's Duty. The shift started out with no players at all. Bulldozer and bad guy alike repeated the idle screens over and over until Ralph noticed a pair of pink glasses. He recognized them, knowing it belonged to one of the game's best players. Molly, the little girl in the pink T-shirt, came up to the console with plenty of quarters. She inserted a quarter into the slot, and the game was on.

Ralph stormed over to his place and cried out his catchphrase.

"I'M GONNA WRECK IT!"

The villain swiftly climbed up the building just as he normally would, grabbing Gene and throwing him as far as he could included. Windows that weren't even close to him shattered as he climbed. Once the trip was over and the rain stopped, the Nicelanders answered their queue.

"FIX IT, FELIX!"

And then, it was Felix's turn. He sprinted over to his spot and proclaimed "I CAN FIX IT!"

Because the bonus levels turned Molly into an excellent player, she effortlessly breezed through the first twenty levels. The twenty first round had started...

And Felix couldn't move.

Molly's left eyebrow arched as she spat out "What the?"

She wiggled the joystick and smashed the buttons, but Felix stayed put. He remained helplessly in his idle animation as a brick landed precisely on his head.

"Mr. Litwak!" she called.

Coincidentally, Mr. Litwak was close by. He peered at the screen and asked "What is it, sweetheart?"

"Felix can't move." She moved the joystick, and Felix's unresponsiveness proved her right.

Mr. Litwak disappeared, came back, and smacked the ever threatening sheet on the screen and gave Molly back her quarter. "Simple, the wires connecting the controls have pooped out. It happens to all games." He shook his head in good humor. "I'll call up Carl and have him replace them."

The two parted ways, making the characters' day off official.

Ralph and Felix climbed down the penthouse to meet both new and old Nicelanders, who were all seemingly glued to the screen. The filtered glow of the "Out of Order" had became calm instead of eerie, given the reason it was there. Its calmness didn't make some Nicelanders less nervous.

"'Happens to all games!?'" Gene parroted. "This is the first time that this has happened to any game! Something is wrong!"

"But there _are_ other arcades out there!" piped Felix. "We'll just get those wires replaced or even new controls! We'll be back in business in no time!"

That time was one of the few times Ralph agreed with Gene. "I don't know, Felix. Our game's 30 years old. They probably don't even make them wires anymore."

"And even _if_ we get unplugged, Mrs. President will let us live in Sugar Rush! You guys like that place, right?"

Gene, the only Nicelander to actually _see_ the candy land, shuddered. "If being blinded by all those bright colors and having your eardrum split is your thing." The stocky mayor walked (well, jumped) on the steps. "If any of you need me, I'll be at the bar."

He went inside and shut the door.

"Gene! Wait!" Felix followed him in a hurry.

A realization hit him just when his hand was on the knob.

He faced his fellow characters and declared "Just in case we really are getting unplugged, we're gonna have to pack our things. Come on, now."

Everyone went back to their dwellings, including Ralph.

Once the bad guy entered his shack, he felt something... unfamiliar, a bittersweet sort of deprivation. He knew he was only packing his most prized possession, so confusion or indecisiveness wasn't it. He knew he had friends, and unlike the Nicelanders or Felix he didn't mind having time to himself, so he wasn't lonely. He sat on his bed and reached deep into his mind for any reason for feeling this way...

And then it hit him.

The only reason his game had risked being unplugged then was because he kept at his job. He kept his home, the life he had before "that day." Most of his life had been spent here, doing the only thing he thought he was really good at.

The emptiness Ralph felt was from the threat of losing his only home, and with it the memories he made there.

_But that can't be it,_ he thought.

_Until recently, nobody cared about me, the big dumb bad guy who wrecked the building. I can't name one good thing that happened before I met Vanellope._

_Wait a minute. Wrecked the building!_

Ralph was about to lose the only job he had, and thus the biggest use for the only thing he could really do.

He broke his train of thought by gazing at the shiniest medal he knew, the one Vanellope made him. He got up and extended his beefy arm out to gently pluck the medallion from its perch on the wall. His pensive frown softened into a tiny smile when he read the words "you're my hero."

My Hero.

My Hero.

The proud hero donned the candy medal, knowing that his biggest job wasn't his best job. He left his shack just as he did this morning and spotted Felix, who looked up at the screen just as the Nicelanders did earlier. The larger man ran up to join him. Both of them could see Mr. Litwak, his face hidden behind the sign.

Mr. Litwak laid his hand on the side of the console and confirmed what everyone feared. "He couldn't find anything. No wires, no replacement controls, no anything." His tone was somber, as if he was saying goodbye to an old friend. "You guys will be out to pasture tomorrow morning."

"Who are you talking to?" a boy's wispy voice asked.

"Nobody in particular," the older man sighed. "Fix-It Felix Jr. finally broke for good. I'm unplugging it first thing tomorrow."

"Awww..." the boy whined. "I was thinking about trying those bonus levels again."

Litwak reassured the kid. "Don't worry. Maybe more bonus levels will pop up."

Ralph and Felix observed the two disappear. As soon as they were gone, they looked at each other, and their feelings about the whole situation were clear. Ralph's face wore an expression of calm acceptance. Felix's, one of wavering optimism.

"I guess today's the day, huh, brother?" The handyman smiled, but his eyes were teary.

"Yea." Ralph nodded slowly. "Today's the day."

Felix sniffled.

"Come here." Ralph opened his arms wide both sympathetically and awkwardly. Felix obliged and leaped straight onto Ralph's chest. The fixer sobbed loudly as the wrecker mildly patted his back.

"I'm gonna miss this place, Ralph! I'm gonna miss everything!"

"I.. I'll miss this place, too."

* * *

Vanellope glitched out of Sugar Rush's sugar coated train the second it tried to stop. She couldn't help but think of all the things that she planned for tonight. Make fun of Robotnik, prank Felix again, visit the remains of that volcano she used to live in...

She teleported over to FFJ's plug, out of which Nicelanders poured, carrying various belongings.

_Is it really happening?_

Sensing that something was wrong, she searched for her stinkbrain. Ms. President scanned the outer benches first, then the train stop.

He wasn't there.

Feeling _slightly _worried, she called out for him into the long tunnel.

"RALPH!" The tunnel amplified the call into an echo.

No answer. Trying not to cry or panic, she clenched her fists and tried again.

"RALLLPH!"

The silly sounds of the train echoed through the tunnel. Dark, familiar silhouettes faded into the pixie's view. She loosened her fists, held her left hand above her eyes, and squinted. The image grew and grew until it was apparent that it was Ralph and Felix. Felix's face was wet with tears and Ralph's was worn with concern. Both of their bodies seemed to sag with exhaustion to the point where Ralph slouched even more than usual.

"What's going on?" Vanellope quizzed, her eyes wide in worry.

"It's happening," Ralph simply replied. "Litwak's pulling the plug tomorrow."

Vanellope paused momentarily. She walked peacefully to her friend and laid her hand in his. Her normally cheeky voice became warm and understanding as she cooed "It's okay. You guys can stay with me."


	2. Moving Out

**Chapter 1**

**Moving Out**

The pink plastered bullet train of Sugar Rush screeched to a halt as it reached the game's end of its tracks.

Vanellope, who was sitting rather quietly on her friend's lap, spoke up. "We're here," she stated calmly.

A door some feet to their right slid open, and the new residents of Sugar Rush literally popped up and prepared to leave. That is, most of them except Ralph. Partially due to his size and partially due to the dreamlike nature of the whole day, he patiently waited for everyone else to go, including the Qbert gang. Even after the train had emptied, Ralph sat there, slumped over and holding his head in his left hand.

_It was gonna happen sooner or later._ He thought. _We're from a thirty-year-old game. So why does it feel so... out of nowhere? _

Vanellope noticed this and, instead of teasing him per the norm, meekly asked him "Are you okay?"

Ralph snapped out of his trance and nodded. He stood up as Vanellope leaped off of his lap. Together, they exited the train and came across Sugar Rush's rather delicate train station. Three oversized gumdrops nestled together under a pink hard candy stand topped with white frosting. Rainbow sour ribbons clung to the stand just as vines would. Engulfing the cute little display, as well as contrasting it, was the dark chocolate cave. Ralph, who was familiar with the sight, merely ignored it as Vanellope led him away.

As they strolled on, the ribbons that decorated the stand expanded and combined into the massive sheet that was the game's entrance pathway. At the apex of the hill it formed, the Nicelanders admired the sheer expanse of Vanellope's home. When the lagging pair got close, they could hear ooos and ahhs and Qbert's somewhat robotic commentary.

"I didn't even know games could be this big!" exclaimed Mary with stars in her eyes.

"And pretty! You could make so many pies here, Mary!" Deanna replied cheerfully.

"You could if you like the idea of baking while _blind,_" Gene snarked, pulling out a purple visor and thick sunglasses from his bag. "Besides, there's already enough sweets here as is." He fitted the accessories on his head, revealing a golden, fancy "G" on the visor.

" #! * %^& !" Qbert piped.

Felix kneeled down to pat his smaller coworker on the head. "It's not like she's forcing us to stay here. Besides, we can always head out to other games for food..."

A mischievous smirk formed on Vanellope's face as she overheard Felix.

"Psshh, more like you should! Most of you guys look like you've been eating pies for breakfast, lunch, **and** dinner!"

Gene glared at her, his arms tersely crossed.

"Oh come on, it's a joke! Now let's get movin'!" The President trotted ahead of them and pointed to a pristine castle in the horizon. "The roster race is gonna start soon!"

* * *

After what felt like hours of trekking, the crew finally arrived between the castle gates. Even after all the sightseeing and walking, most of the Nicelanders were still astounded at everything, and this time wasn't any different. They gazed and gawked like toddlers hiking in the woods for the first time, their eyes dazzled and wide with wonder.

"Well, here we are! You guys can crash here for the night, but we havta find you guys new jobs tomorrow."

Vanellope stepped on the chocolate welcome mat, grabbed the door's handle, and banged it against the door three times. A dour green gumball answered, his eyes livening up only slightly as he realized just how many people he was staring at.

"President-" was all the lackey could say before being interrupted.

"Gorilla Breath's game's getting wrecked, Sour Bill! Prepare all the spare rooms in the castle!"

Sour Bill paused, as if to ask his boss something, then droned "Mmyes, Miss President." He waddled off, possibly to call on the rest of the servants. Sour Bill's absence allowed the party view the foyer, which was elegant, but lacking in color. The checkered floor complemented everything, which was made of varying kinds of chocolate. A white chocolate chandelier hung overhead as equally pale walls surrounded it. A regal, milk chocolate stairway stood across the pair. Ebony curtains covered massive windows. However, a specific detail ruined the charm of the room, a clunky graham cracker door with a gumdrop knob.

Miss President ordered "Get going! While some of the best rooms are available!"

"But before we do that..." Mary gratefully began. "I just want to say thank you kindly, Miss President, for everything." More and more "residents" chimed in.

The chorus of gratitude was stopped when Vanellope shrugged it off "Ehhh, it's nothing. Just try not to eat the curtains like a certain _someone _did." Ralph didn't reply at all. His gaze went off into deep space.

"Ahh! Just get going guys, would ya?"

Again, while everyone else moved, Ralph stayed behind with his friend.

The castle's owner tugged on the wrecker's pointer finger, signaling him to follow. When he obeyed, the pixie led him to the blemish and opened it, revealing a spiral, wafer staircase. Knowing how long it'll take to get up to where she wanted to be on foot, Vanellope glitched herself and Ralph repeatedly until they arrived at a similar door. With one last glitch, the scenery changed to an extensive master bedroom, which seemed to be designed just for Ralph.

Red velvet brick walls encased little more than an enormous sponge cake bed, a dark chocolate nightstand, and a bark candy lamp. Some windows, onto which brown fondant curtains were attached, were spread out across the room, but the amount was small enough to give some sort of privacy. To the pair's right, white fondant curtains embraced a balcony, which was an extension of the brick that made up the room.

Vanellope let go of Ralph's finger and backed away, her eyes filled with hope.

"I kinda had a feeling you'd be unplugged soon," she admitted, "so I changed this room for you!"

Ralph just stood in shock, his upper body leaning forward and his mouth agape.

"Do ya like it?"

Ralph took two steps forward. He bent his head slightly toward her, but not far enough for her to see his face.

"Kid... This room's great!"

The giant bent down to his smaller companion, plucked her up, and hugged her firmly, but gently. The minx returned the favor.

"Oh yea..." Vanellope reminded herself. "I just wanna know. I know your game's been unplugged and all but you've been... quieter than usual. You haven't talked much or played around with me all day. Why is that?"

"You just said it. My game's getting unplugged, kid."

"Yea but are you sad about it, are you angry at the gamers or-"

"Well... Uh... I don't really know, honestly. I knew I'd get unplugged but... I've always thought we had more time left. Everything feels... unreal now."

"But you still got me! And now you don't have to wreck anything anymore! You can be my bodyguard, or even the general of my army! I can see it now. 'General Gigan-'"

"The thing is, with or without the penthouse around I still break things."

"Oh... We can take care of that now, can't we?"

Although he knew that it was a rhetorical question, the gargantuan villain wanted to confess something to his young friend.

"Actually, I tried to change myself back when the arcade first opene-"

"C'mon, Grandpa! Don't tell me a story about the good ol' days!"

"Just humor me, would ya?"

"Fine."

"As I was saying, back when everyone was young and didn't know anything, I thought that I could magically change myself if I tried."

"Uh huh."

"Back then, I couldn't accept my job as a bad guy. In fact, I thought of myself as a **loser.** Bad guys, even back then, never won medals or popularity. So I'd try to be 'cool' and schmooze with Felix and the Nicelanders."

"Try?"

"Yup, but no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't control my temper. When I first got plugged in, I'd get mad over simple things such as the remote being missing, so I flew off the handle one too many times and well... they just stopped talking to me. They couldn't take it anymore. But after a few years of being _completely alone,_" He said those last two words as if he held a grudge for it, possibly towards himself. "I managed to take control of myself and grew to love my job. Took it easy, met a couple of guys at Tapper's, and I became comfortable with where I was."

"But you still nearly trashed two games for a 'medul.'" Vanellope's voice became low and raspy as she tried to mimic Ralph.

"Hey, I said 'comfortable,' not 'happy,' and my voice does not sound like that at all." He tried to be mad, but after what he said couldn't help but be silly to compensate.

"Dat does not sound like me agagigababa!"

The tiny imp flew away from Ralph and onto the balcony. The wrecker played along, holding his hands up and forming claws with his stubby fingers. He then charged at his little friend, who was strangely distracted by something outside. When Ralph saw what, or specifically _who_ his playmate saw, he mentally kicked himself. Calhoun was wildly surfing around the castle on her hoverboard, meticulously scanning for any sign of Felix, a Nicelander, or him.

"Oh righttt, Sarge and her 'tragic backstory.'" Ralph brought his hands, formed a cylinder around his mouth, and called to the flying soldier. "HEY SARGE! WE'RE OVER HERE!"

Vanellope joined in, jumping up and down while waving her puny arms about. "DOWN HERE, LIEUTENANT LOONY!"

Calhoun took notice of them right away and flew to them in a flash. Her body was tense and her lips formed a concerned frown. Her eyes oozed worry.

"Where's Fix-It!? He wrote me that your game's more finished than a bear in a trap!"

"He's in the castle with us, and so are the other Nicelanders!" responded Vanellope.

The sargeant sighed deeply, clearly very relived. She held her right hand over her heart, an unusual gesture for her.

"Affirmative," she whispered. "You know precisely where?"

"No," Ralph said coolly.

"Fair enough." She dived down and hovered away, possibly to the main gate.

The young girl turned to her older counterpart and asked "What do you wanna do now?"

"Let's get down there and see what Calhoun wants to do with Felix. You know lovebirds."

He puckered his lips, held his head in the air and went "Mmmm mimm mimm." The two playfully grimaced, stuck their tongues out and let out a "Bleegghhh!" Some laughs were had, and they hurried down to the lobby, but not without Ralph snapping the extremely frail door in half trying to open it. The duo teleported down only to see nobody, not even a servant. Vanellope took a few steps away from Ralph while looking around curiously. She started to tap her chin with her pointer.

"If we were a pair of lovers who had just came back for each other, where would we be?"

"The bedroom?" He said it as if he was implying something, something that went completely over Vanellope's head.

"They haven't even decided where to _live_ yet, Bricks-For-Brains!"

"It doesn't have to be _their_ bedroom, you know."

Felix's voice rang like a bell through the hallways. "TAMMY!"

Calhoun's boomed like a gunshot. "FELIX!"

Instinctively, Vanellope glitched herself and Ralph to the source of the sounds. They met them in what used to be King Candy's throne room, which has been untouched by the real ruler for reasons unknown. The partners were holding both of each others' hands, with Calhoun kneeling down to accommodate Felix's height. Being not the type to respect or understand mushy things like romance, Vanellope simply skipped up to them.

"Hey lovebirds! Whatrya thinking about doing?"

Calhoun rose up. "Actually... I was gonna ask you if we can stay here. I refuse to let Felix get eaten like.. like.."

Felix laid his hand on his wife's knee and patted it comfortingly. "Can we? I mean we would make a good family, wouldn't we?"

"'Can you!?'" Vanellope paused briefly. "Of course you guys can stay!" She jumped for joy in excitement. "This means I can have a real family! I'd have a mommy and a daddy and..?" The question of what place Ralph had in the family stopped her train of thought.

"A big brother," Ralph warmly answered as he scooped her up. He went ahead of Calhoun and Felix, then faced the two. "Come on, let's find everyone else."

The new family left the room, but not without Vanellope looking back as visions of Turbo crept back into her mind.

* * *

Next morning, Tamora exited the bullet train with Ralph trailing behind.

"Are you really game jumping at this time, Wreck-It?"

"Not really game jumping, especially at this time. I'm just... saying goodbye."

Tamora simply nodded and calmly said "Understood" as she and Ralph separated. Because the arcade was opening soon, very few characters were around, making the large train station look even larger. Ralph didn't mind. He was content with sitting on a bench by the plug-shaped port, waiting for the home of many to be removed, never to return.

After a single minute of waiting, Ralph heard something akin to a monstrous train from the port. The cycling display overhead stopped showing "FIX-IT FELIX JR." and flashed "ATTENTION: DO NOT ENTER."

Fix-It Felix Jr. was finally being unplugged.

"ATTENTION: DO NOT ENTER."

The technically homeless villain sadly watched as a bright, white light shone through the growing crevices. He timidly reached out as his connection to what used to be his only home got slowly pulled away.

"ATTENTION: DO NOT ENTER."

The pathway filled with the dazzling light.

"ATTENTION: DO NOT ENTER."

And finally, Fix-It Felix Jr. was gone.

"NOT OCCUPIED."

* * *

_**If these first two parts feel boring, I apologize. It'll pick up, but not too quickly.**_


	3. Transition

_** FF is bugging out, which is why it took so long for the actual chapter to appear.**_

* * *

**Chapter 2**

**Transition**

Throughout his life, Ralph knew that losing one's game has either happened or will happen to everyone in the arcade that lives to see it. He himself saw many games come and go.

And yet, Ralph still couldn't believe his eyes. He had been so accepting of it earlier, but now that it was finally over, he was devastated.

Thirty years of work, thirty years of memories, the only reason he and his fellow characters have even existed at all, gone. Just like that.

Overwhelmed with loss, he collapsed onto his knees and stared longingly at the void left behind. His hands were held as high as his chest and made two useless claws, his palms turned inward. The brilliant light had faded as the arcade's carpet came into view, confirming what he had just witnessed. There wasn't even a point in getting out there, not only because there was a firewall preventing anyone from leaving, but he'd die without electricity to support him or an interface to run on. Strangely enough, a part of him felt as empty as that port. He could feel a tiny void in his heart opening, and he knew why.

It was his home. It held his purpose.

And it was gone.

The masculine behemoth felt the urge to cry, to grieve, but couldn't. Whether it was because he was programmed not to or because he saw it coming was irrelevant. Frustration melded with remorse, morphing into a panging, broken rage. Eventually, the depressing sight was enough.

He rushed towards Sugar Rush's port as fast as his stubby legs could carry him. The bullet train was still on Game Central Station's side, so he furiously pried into one of its doors and ripped it open. Muttering and cursing impatiently to himself, he paced back and forth in the car. The more he paced, the hotter his anger burned. He couldn't get over the fact that even a hero can lose his home, that even heroes are powerless in the face of fate. By the time the train started, he was shaking violently, his face bore a twisted snarl, and his fists were clenched so tightly that his knuckles turned white. Only the forceful inertia of the train sat him down, but it didn't stop him from having the frosted wafer seat crumble in his grip.

The short trip didn't calm the brute down even slightly, so the second he was released, so was his wrath.

"_**GRRRRRRAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"**_

He hammered the train stop, shattering it in one hit.

With his fists raised overhead, he bolted through the cave's mouth, turned right, and jumped on a nearby cone mountain. He punched through different parts of the shell, causing cracks to appear and spread. Molten chocolate oozed out of the pores, but Ralph still kept at punching and tearing. It took the cone's collapse and the flood of chocolate to get the bulldozer away from it. He leaped onto a peppermint tree that hugged the mountain's bottom, slid down the trunk, and tore the tree out of the ground. Using the tree as a sledgehammer, he pulverized what was left of the cone. He then targeted another tree, and when he tried to break it with his new hammer, the trunk snapped off, rendering it useless. Instead, he hooked the standing tree. On impact, the trunk fell apart, its pieces scattering everywhere. The parts that didn't fell on the side opposite of Ralph. He lunged for the intact crown, caught it, and crushed it in his hands. He did the same to another, and then another, and another until the majority of the peppermint forest was nothing but chips and dust.

Ralph wasn't any calmer after clearing out the forest, so he demolished anything else that was close by. He pounded at jawbreakers, squashed truffle rocks, ripped through the ribbon pathway, and even dug into the ground when he saw nothing else to destroy. Finally, the royal raceway caught his attention, and he marched over to it, growing like a bear all the way.

Well, almost all the way.

"RALPH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"

The lummox froze in place, realizing what he was doing. Felix scurried in front of him and held out his arms in defense of the track. The handyman was shaking slightly, his face pale and his pupils small.

"Game... Unplugged... Don't know... What to do..."

"Well destroying everything in this game isn't on that list! The arcade's open for Pete's sake!" He motioned in the castle's direction, still pretty afraid. "Come on, now. Gene's having a meeting."

Both men were quiet throughout the trip to the castle, not only because the arcade was open, but out of fear of what would happen if either of them spoke up. This allowed them to hear engines revving, smell the abundance of sugar, and think about how they'd make a living now that there's no going back. Ralph in particular wondered how to keep himself from destroying the entirety of Sugar Rush, given what he did just an hour ago. Should he get angry, everyone in Sugar Rush would lose their homes, or worse, the damage would be on such a grand scale that that those poor racers would too lose their homes. _Maybe,_ he thought, _it's time to change._

_But how can a guy like me change something like my programming? I wanted to be a good guy before but I just wanted acceptance! I didn't want to change myself or anything! How can I explain what's going on to Bad-Anon? The point of the whole thing is to show that it's okay to be bad._

_But is it always okay to be bad? Was it okay that I destroyed my friend's game because I lost mine?_

_Or would they understand and help me out?_

_Hopefully, _Ralph thought, _this whole "self-acceptance" thing won't be taken too far with those guys._

The trek ended after that thought, as they stood in front of the big, fancy door.

"Alrighty," piped Felix, who was back to his chipper self from the long hike, "Let's see how that meeting's turning out."

He knocked and was promptly answered by Mary. "Why hello, Felix! You came just in time." She leaned closer to him and muttered "Gene's getting antsy."

"Nothin' I can't fix."

"Okie dokie, follow me to the meeting board."

Felix and Ralph followed Mary into a hall that began at the left side of the well-crafted staircase and ended at one of many gingerbread doors. Voices pressed and banged against the final door, begging to be heard at full volume.

"WE SHOULD _PARENT_ THESE KIDS!" Felix could hear Deanna, but the gingerbread muffled her.

Gene's voice was especially audible. "THEY DO JUST _FINE_ WITHOUT PARENTS, DEANNA! THIS IS OUR CHANCE TO DO BETTER WORK AND WE MUST TAKE IT!"

They were thirty feet from the door.

"BUT PARENTING _IS _BETTER WORK! THESE KIDS LOOK FINE, BUT THEY NEED THE LOVE THAT ONLY A PARENT CAN PROVIDE!"

"_LOVE!? _HOW ARE YOU GONNA PROVIDE THIS _'LOVE'?_ NOBODY IN THIS ROOM HAS _EVER_ CAME CLOSE TO 'PARENTING.' EVER!"

Nineteen feet.

"Well, Ralph has," Joe commented, "and he was our resident bad guy! How hard can it be?"

Gene's exasperation simmered down to annoyance. "Ralph does not _parent._ He _hangs out_ with the brat and never disciplines her. If anything, he's her friend."

Six feet.

"You have a point..."

"Just because it hasn't been done before doesn't mean you shouldn't try," Deanna responded. "Bad guys haven't won medals, either. Ralph saved an entire _game!_"

"You're missing the point," Gene rebutted.

Three feet.

"We. Are not. Meant. To be. Parents. It's not in our programming. They. Have lived. By themselves. Throughout their whole lives. It's not in their programming to be in a family, either."

The door opened, unveiling a rectangular, very professional meeting room with cherry red wallpaper. All twenty of the bark candy seats held Nicelanders, who stood on them due to their pitiful height, and neatly surrounded a plain bark candy table.

Ralph entered first and announced "Vanellope has always wanted someone to care about her. _Purposes_ are programmed, but wants aren't. Feelings aren't... sort of." He remembered that his temper was programmed. "Also, I leave the parenting to Felix."

"Well do what you guys want," Gene commanded resentfully, "but I'm not giving up the chance to be more than a pie dispenser."

He glared up at Ralph, remembering the comment he made the night he went Turbo, and stormed past Felix and Mary. The latter two eased in as Ralph got out of their way. An exhausted silence filled the air until Felix tried to break it in his typically friendly way.

"So... did anyone decide what to do, yet?"

"Actually," Bob answered, "some of us want to raise the Sugar Rush kids, but others want to work in the castle."

"Uhh..." Felix did not know how to feel about that. "That sounds... nice." His tone was somewhat awkward and hesitant, considering what Gene said and all the servants that were already there, but became more sure as he asked "Did you guys tell Miss President?"

"We will."

"Super! Ralph and I will be uh... away for a bit."

The fixer timidly tugged on Ralph's pinky, and he led the wrecker to a quiet spot on the other side of the lobby's staircase.

"That forest looked like a cybug chewed it up. What happened?"

"I saw the game get unplugged, Felix. I saw the space it left and everything. And then I... lost it. Like always." Ralph hung his head in shame.

"It's gone? For good?"

"..."

"Yea."

The usually happy Felix started sobbing. "M-m-my home. M-m-m-my w-work..."

He broke down, and his larger friend kneeled down and enveloped him in his arms.

"G-g-gggone."

* * *

"Alright, arcade's closed!"

Ralph made a break for it the second he heard those words. The day's events and the possibility of a very unhappy Vanellope encouraged him to get on that frilly train. A trip to Tapper's always did the trick. But then he realized something.

The other villains will notice that Fix-It Felix Jr. isn't around anymore.

And he really did **not** feel like talking.

He tried his best to sneak into Tapper's train station (well, the best a nine-feet-tall muscleman could do) when he saw Clyde float indifferently out of his home game. Ralph panicked internally, knowing how Clyde could be, but kept his cool as he stumbled by Chun-Li.

He was an inch from the entrance when he heard a deep, soothing "Hey Ralph."

"Uhhh... Hey... Clyde." Ralph tried to smile, but he ended up grinning so wide that his gums were showing. The right corner of his lip was twitching ever so slightly.

"We've heard that your game got unplugged this morning."

"Yea." Ralph's tone came across as phony as he tried to play it off. "It's no big deal, really. We've already set up shop in Sugar Rush."

"I just want to say that I'm sorry. It must be devastating for you to lose your game like that."

"Psssh, no! Most of us saw it coming, so we're a-o-"

A shrill but feminine voice cut in, and Ralph felt something literally appear out of thin air as Vanellope materialized on his shoulder. "Kay."

Clyde calmly nodded and said "Alright. I'll see you at Bad-Anon, Ralph."

Once the ghost was out of earshot, Ralph muttered "Hope I don't."

"If you were so 'a-okay,' then why did the peppermint forest look like a war zone when the arcade closed? Did Diaperbaby throw a tantrum?"

Ralph suddenly felt most of his patience leave him. "I LOST. MY GAME," he barked.

Seeing how teasing was not the best idea, she backed off a bit. "Okay, okay I get that, just try not to wreck too many things, okay? Adorabeezle saw the dump and nearly passed out!"

Ralph remained silent for a few seconds before he confirmed "Okay."

"Good! Enjoy your bottle, Diaperbaby!" She jumped off and skipped away.

Ralph simply glanced back and shook his head before heading into the tunnel. Without a word, he hopped into the caboose of Tapper's brightly colored train, which looked like it came straight out of a wild west cartoon. Ken, Ryu, and Luigi got on board, and the train chugged away.

As it did, the space Fix-It Felix left behind was filled back in by a new game.

The display shifted from "NOT OCCUPIED" to "ATTENTION: DO NOT ENTER."

The new plug was slowly forced in as characters drew closer to get a better look. Light shone from the cracks this new game created and then closed. With a booming **CLUNK,** the deed was done. Several surge protectors huddled around the new game, setting up a literal electric fence. The crowd edged in anyway, curious as to see what kind of game had arrived. A familiar protector stepped out of the circle, clipboard in hand, and stated in a bored tone "Nothing to see here, people, move along."

A little boy that was entirely dressed in yellow objected "We just wanna see what kind of game would take Fix-It Felix's place!"

The surge protector, not even bothering to look away from his clipboard, rose his pen to the display overhead. "Just take a good look."

After being completely blank for a minute, the display read "MAMA HEN'S HECTIC HAWAII: NOW CALIBRATING."


	4. Tomorrow

**Chapter 3**

**Tomorrow**

Tapper's was as crowded as it normally was.

Characters of all kinds were spread out amongst the counters that stuck to the dark blue wall, and while Ralph's popularity with the players had all but vanished, his misadventure had made him as much of a legend as Turbo. Ralph's main objective was to go in, get two root beers, and get out, no interruptions. He crouched as low as he could while still being visible to Tapper. Right on queue, the bartender appeared on the opposite side of the counter. Being the empathetic type, it was clear to him that his most loyal customers wanted nothing more than to grab a drink and leave.

"Don't feel like talking today, huh?"

Ralph nodded.

"Alright, how many?"

"Two." He said it as quietly as he could and held up two fingers. "Make em' extra cold."

"You got it."

Two mugs slid to him in a flash.

"Take the mugs with you. My treat."

Ralph thanked his server and scurried away the best he could, seeing Bowser and Zombie lumbering forth to talk to him. He hid back in the caboose as he waited for the silly, Western style train to take him back to Game Central Station. Five minutes later, it chugged its way back, and the giant not-so-subtly yanked himself out. He took his time, peering around the edge of the port's opening and trying not to spill his drinks.

He took a step out of it, waking up the familiar alarm.

It ceased... but no surge protectors had sparked over to chastise him.

Ralph kept going after a brief moment of confusion, figuring that they were busy with something else. As he walked, he noticed that people were too busy gossiping while huddling around a port to pay attention to him. He snapped out of his depressed stupor as he realized _which_ port everyone was so fixated on.

His.

Despite not wanting to talk, Ralph's curiosity got the better of him, so he took a moment to read the display. He could not believe what it said.

"Mama Hen's Hectic Hawaii. What kind of a game is that?"

A nerdy, somewhat bored voice answered, "Everybody's been asking me that. According to these files, it sounds like one of those cutesy side-scrolling platformers."

Ralph glanced down at the direction of the voice and saw an electric blue glow. He immediately hid the root beers behind his back and tried to play it off by looking at the new game.

"Uhh.. Really?"

"Yup. Nobody can go see it now due to protocol, but it seems to be calibrating just fine. Everyone will get the chance soon enough. And by the way..."

"Uh huh?" Ralph's voice was shaky and nervous, as that was the first time he had an actual conversation with his 'favorite' surge protector.

"I'll let you keep those drinks." He "glitched" off, stunning Ralph.

* * *

Mr. and Mrs. Fix-It had been waiting in Sugar Rush's little train station for about fifteen minutes. Felix didn't need to do any fixing, as the game's daily reset fixed all the damage that Ralph caused. The couple patiently sat on the gumdrop seats, Felix still upright and proper while Calhoun slouched, holding her head with her left hand. She growled out of impatience.

"What's taking Wreck-It so long!?" She shot up with clenched fists. "He's either drowning his sorrows or going AWOL!"

Felix rose, but it was more out of anxiety than frustration. "You know how the trains can be. Ralph's probabl- see! There's the train now!"

The gaudy train screeched to a halt. Out came Ralph, two root beers in his meaty paws, just as he promised.

"Just as promised."

Calhoun roughly patted him on the back. "We thought you were either getting swarmed or taking a knee-deep beer bath."

Felix accepted his mug and cheekily faced his wife. "You mean _you_ thought he'd be doing those things?"

Calhoun smiled embarassedly and confirmed, "Of course, Fix-It."

"But here's the thing, guys," Ralph went on, "A new game took our place already."

"Already?" They parroted in unison.

"Yea. A game called 'Mama Hen's Hectic Hawaii'." He showed his opinion on the replacement by shrugging with a confused expression on his face.

"Huh," Calhoun grunted. "The cutesy name makes it sound like your game."

Felix's eyes became downcast. "It does." He lit up as he commented "But that's all the more reason to welcome them! Isn't that right, Ralph?"

"Dunno. They could be weirded out just getting plugged in and then **bam.**" He brought a fist down for emphasis, accidentally tearing a hole in the still standing train. He hesitantly took his hand back and added "Have other guys come in. Besides." He flapped his hand and candy dust formed a cloud around it before vanishing. "I don't want to find out how it'll feel going into our station and not ending up in our game."

"We'll get over it," Felix mildly argued. He then turned around and started walking out of the cave, into Sugar Rush.

Calhoun stood and brooded a bit before catching up to him. "Affirmative."

Ralph sighed and did the same. "Whatever you say..."

They were at the top of the sour ribbon hill when Calhoun threw down her board. It expanded and hovered steadily above the ground, ready to be ridden. Calhoun got on first, studying the cruiser and then the build of the wrecker.

"Alright, Felix and I will head our way back to the castle." She paused in thought. "Unless there's a way to take you with us."

"Unless..." Felix thoughtfully said to himself as he held his hand over his chin, fingers bent. "Unless Ralph can carry me!" He smacked his palm with his fist.

The larger NPCs looked at each other, and then back at Felix. "That could work."

Felix hopped onto the wrecker's shoulder, and Ralph gradually went on the board so as to not have it crumble under his weight. He and Calhoun cooperated by kicking it off simultaneously. After almost falling off, they regained control and flew away.

The flight wasn't as smooth as it would have been had Calhoun been the sole rider. Clumsy Ralph struggled to keep himself and Felix from falling. The board bobbed up and down as Calhoun tried to handle her ride plus the extra cargo. They nearly crashed into the royal raceway, dodged some flan mountains, ducked under cotton candy clouds and scratched the fudge ground. Such an amusing display did not go unnoticed by the Sugar Rush racers.

"And Vanellope asked us if _we_ needed parents!? Haha!" Gloyd laughed harder as he pointed at the bumbling bird.

"Should we get help?" Adorabeezle asked, "They could get hurt!"

Rancis looked away from his mirror just then and rose his brow. "Is Vanellope playing another joke on us?"

Taffyta smugly rolled her eyes. "I think a joke _is_ being played on us; them."

The bloated bird bumbled and fumbled through the sky until Tamora saw that they were above the castle's checkered road. She wrangled it down and leaped off. As the men jumped onto the road, she brushed herself down.

"Okay," Calhoun piped, "Let's never. Do that. Again."

Both men nodded in agreement.

The little experience was enough to make Calhoun retract her board and for the three to decide to hike the rest of the way. Felix stepped forth and knocked once, only to be answered once again by Mary.

"You three came just in time. Vanellope's talking to Gene about the whole job thing."

"How's it going?" Felix asked.

"I stayed out of it, so I don't really know."

"Well, let's go talk to them," Felix commanded. "Come on now." He waved his hand towards himself, motioning Calhoun and Ralph to follow.

"Uh... Felix?" Ralph timidly called out, "That's none of our business."

"He's still their leader, big guy," Calhoun mentioned, "It is his business."

Ralph groaned. "Okay, let's go."

They walked off, but Mary still had enough time to shout "They're in the meeting room!"

Unlike the first time Ralph and Felix had to interfere, there wasn't a peep heard through the door. Ralph almost assumed that it was already over and that the two miniscule characters were off somewhere else. The assumption was proved false when Calhoun knocked.

"I DON'T CARE ABOUT WHAT THOSE STINKBRAINS DID ON THAT BOARD THING, GLOYD! I'M BUSY!"

"We _are_ those 'stinkbrains', Princess," Calhoun corrected.

"Is Felix still with you?" Gene sternly asked, "I want to hear what _he_ thinks, and only him!"

"Why _not_ us?" Calhoun snarled, "You gotta problem with us?"

"_He's_ the leader," Ralph objected, "not us."

Calhoun was about to say something, but Ralph cut her short. "It's none of our business."

Calhoun stormed off, leaving Ralph to heartily pat Felix on the back. "Good luck dealing with them _both,_ buddy."

Felix chuckled as Ralph lumbered away. "No luck needed, brother!"

The superintendent opened the door as quietly as he could, revealing Vanellope and Gene on the seats nearest to the head closer to Felix. Vanellope was in the one to his left, Gene, in the right.

"Come in," Gene insisted with a gleam of excitement in his eye.

Felix settled in the head seat and asked "So, do you two have an agreement?"

"Sorta," Vanellope answered, "I asked all the racers and none of them want parents, so _nobody_ really has a job yet. I have enough servants."

"But I was thinking that you could build a private party house here and we'd run it," Gene added.

"There's already a party house though, Gene. DDR's packed every night! That and nobody throws too many parties," Felix stated.

"You mean nobody throws any _good_ parties. DDR's a _nightclub_, Felix."

"That's true," Felix admitted, "But I was thinking that we'd put together a fixing business and you can run it. The missus is too scared of me getting eaten to let me go to Hero's Duty without there being at least ten soldiers."

Vanellope suppressed a snicker with her hand, calming herself down. "That could work."

"It could. But certain people will not like the sound of that. We need a job for them."

"Have them bake?" Felix suggested.

"Maybe, maybe not," Gene doubted, "Look around. There's sweets everywhere. People will call them hacks because of how easy it is to get the stuff."

"Well, what are you guys good at besides baking?" Vanellope quizzed.

"Nothing." Gene looked down in shame.

"That's not true, Gen-"

"Yes, it is. For thirty years all we did was stand around, say 'fix-it, Felix,' and give out pies. You fixed a lot of things, Felix, but at the cost of us getting complacent. We never had to do anything because you'd take care of it. I'll help you run your business, and if that means everyone has to work in it, so be it."

A stern silence passed before Felix piped "Let's just take care of that tomorrow." He stood up and pushed his chair in before he tilted his cap and said "It was nice talking to you."

"I'm not angry at you, Felix. I just want us to be useful for once."

"I get that, but Ralp-"

"Yes, he didn't like how people treated him, I know, I know. This is different, Felix. I have to put my foot down here."

Felix raised his pointer, as if he was about to object, but didn't say anything as he nodded in defeat and left the room. He went to the foyer and up the staircase. When he turned left, he bumped into something somewhat hard. His eyes shot up, and they saw Ralph peering down at him. Ralph's eyes saw that things hadn't gone as planned for Felix, as he looked unusually somber.

"Didn't turn out so great, huh?" Ralph's tone was sympathetic.

"The meeting itself was fine. We decided to open up a fixing business and leave the racers alone. But Gene wants to get all the Nicelanders into it because he doesn't think that they've done enough in life. He wants them to be useful."

"Yeesh. Is he sure that they're up to it?"

"It's not like they'd be out there with me but to him, it doesn't matter whether or not they're ready. I'll get everything cleared up tomorrow but for now, I'm off to get a good night's sleep."

"Are you sure you don't want to go to Tapper's with me?" Ralph showed Felix the mugs that he brought earlier. "I'm gonna give these back and maybe a sip or two could cheer you up."

Felix's face put on a smile. "I'd be dogged if I said no."

* * *

Although Ralph managed to get past the surge protector, it was apparent that the new game's novelty had already worn off. People went back to their daily business, shrinking the cluster so much that in some places, the electric fence showed. It didn't matter to Ralph. His main focus at that time was to return the mugs, comfort Felix, and maybe get in on some gossip with Vanellope later on.

Then Clyde and Zangief showed up, the latter holding a green sheet.

"Hey, Ralph!" Zangief heartily greeted as he waved a hairy hand.

"Zangief!" Ralph greeted him in a much happier and more genuine way than he would have if it was say... Eggman, as Zangief had grown to become one of Ralph's best friends. "What's the sheet for?"

"Is for giving to the new guy."

"The new guy?" Felix asked.

Clyde confirmed with a nod. "Everyone else at Bad-Anon will be busy for the next few days, and we understand that this new game replaced yours, so we want to ask you if you want to give it to him."

Ralph's mouth opened partially in confliction and partially in exasperation. _Are these guys serious?_

"It's okay if you don't want to," Clyde cooed. "We just want to know."

"Uhh... Sure! I'll do it tomorrow night!"

That answer caused Felix to turn his head quizzically. "What? Why-"

"Are you sure?" Zangief checked, noticing the forced tone of the response, "because-"

"Yea yea yea it's fine, really." _Stupid, stupid, stupid! _Ralph thought._ Why am I doing this?_

"Uhh.. great?" was the only response Zangief really had besides handing Ralph the sheet.

"Very good," Clyde approved. "If you have any questions or change you mind, just let us know."

"Yea, gotcha."

Ralph watched them fade into the distance, and once he was sure they were gone he slumped over, amazed at just how unbelievably _stupid_ he thought he was. What was wrong with him?

"You alright, brother?"

"You know what?" Ralph got a load of the sheet that'd been handed to him. It was the same one Clyde gave to him a few months ago, a Bad-Anon advertisement complete with their mantra and Bowser's stupid smiley icon.

"I might need a few drinks myself."


	5. Making Peace

**Chapter 4**

**Making Peace**

Ralph stayed at Tapper's for a shorter amount of time than usual.

He did drink a few mugs with Felix and talk to other patrons, but exhaustion took the joy out of even relaxing. A soothed Felix strolled with him back to Sugar Rush and the castle, but waved goodbye as soon as they got there. Ralph himself was too focused on what he agreed to earlier to care. He went up the wafer steps and kicked back on his new bed, going over what he already thought about in his head.

So, why did he volunteer to go to a game that he would most likely go nuts in? Ralph's first guess was to get Clyde off of his back. If he dealt with his replacement now, not only would Clyde stop bothering him, but he wouldn't have to deal with the new guy later. But that conclusion didn't really satisfy him. If he wanted him to get off his back so bad, he would just outright tell him. Something was missing.

Ralph figured that he wanted an excuse to go to his former port and see exactly _what_ replaced his game. It made sense, but Ralph knew that a rush of memories would overwhelm him and the fact that he wouldn't be going into _his_ home would rub salt into his wounds. That was a reason, but not really the major one.

So he thought a bit harder and realized that he didn't just want peace with Bad-Anon or even himself. He wanted to make peace with what happened to his game; to him and Felix and the Nicelanders. He wanted to face what happened head-on like he did with everything else.

Reassured, Ralph closed his eyes and tried to go to sleep.

However, he was interrupted by Vanellope, who glitched onto his stomach.

"You awake, Ralph?"

"Am now, kid."

"I was just thinking, there's no point of you being a general or anything because our 'army' stinks. You were a bad guy in your game so I just wanna know if you wanna be a bad guy here."

"How would that work?"

"Well, I could make you a big bulldozer and make you a boss."

"Good enough."

"Alright, first thing after the arcade closes! One big mean mother hubbard coming up!"

"Not really first thing, kid. I have something to do tomorrow."

"What's that?"

Ralph sighed. "I have to give the new guy this flyer from Bad-Anon."

"New gu- oh yea!"

"Yea, I'm not looking foward to it."

"It'll make you feel weird, won't it?"

"Yup, but maybe it'll help me get over it... somehow."

"Ghost boy shoved that down your throat, didn't he?"

"No, actually. It's actually why I agreed to it."

"Agre-what?"

"It doesn't make sense, but that's why I'm doing it."

"What ever makes you feel better." Like a kitten, Vanellope curled up. "Good night, Stinkbrain."

Too tired to object, Ralph let her sleep. "Good night, Vanellope."

A dreamless sleep was broken up by the panicked sound of Vanellope's voice as well as the alarmed voices of the Fix-Its.

"Ralph! Ralph, wake up!" cried Vanellope.

"Up an' at 'em, Junkpile!"

Ralph groaned. "What time is it?"

"Time for you to listen to us!" Calhoun answered.

"While you were asleep," Vanellope went on, "Felix and I went to the code vault to make it so that the resets won't wipe out his headquarters, and you wouldn't believe what I found!"

"King Candy's code!" added a terrified Felix, "_Turbo's_ code! It was out of the way, but perfectly fine!"

Ralph shot up. **"WHAT!?"**

"Turbo's. Still. Alive. _Ga-doy. _I tore out the wires to make him a glitch when I found it, but he's still out there."

Ralph got out of bed, furious. He held up his pointer at Miss President like a cement block. "You checked that vault three times and _now_ it turns out that he's still here!? Where the heck were you looking!?"

"Don't blame me, I looked everywhere!"

Ralph shook, but calmed down, remembering an important detail. "You're lucky that we managed to get enough help to change the combo on that thing."

"She is," parroted Felix, "So now all we have to do is find him."

"Easier said than done," Calhoun disagreed, "Because now that Princess made him a glitch, he has to know that we know he's alive. He could be anywhere in this saccharine saturated cutefest."

"We'll find him soon enough," her husband reassured, "but we have other things to take care of. Besides, launching a search party would only drive him further away."

"_What_ could be more important than finding a homicidal maniac?" Ralph roared.

Felix replied "A lot of things are more important if he can't hurt anyone. It's best for everyone if we just leave him aside."

"But-"

"'Leave him aside', not get too complacent! We'll have to be on guard but there's other things we have to do now."

"..."

"Fine."

* * *

The rest of the morning was pleasant, but tense.

Vanellope, Ralph and the Fix-Its all had breakfast together and the former two managed to get some playtime in before the arcade opened. They played tag through the castle (but not without Sour Bill rolling his eyes) while the Fix-Its watched in amusement. After Calhoun and Vanellope left to do their respective jobs, Gene reminded the two men that it was time to do theirs. He brought them and the other residents together and told them all what they had to do to build Felix's new headquarters. Even Nicelanders that were disappointed about not being parents agreed, and the deal was sealed.

When the arcade opened and the sound of engines roared throughout the game, they met at what they called Mount Sourest (the sour ribbon mountain that served as an opening into the real game,) with supplies. Ralph tugged on a train made up of abandoned carts filled with hard candy like chocolate and lollipops. The Nicelanders managed to get frosting from the bakery and rope such as Twizzlers and other kinds of licorice. Felix, of course, brought his hammer. Gene had pinpointed the perfect place for the station the past night; half of a mile left of Mount Sourest and a mile into the recovered peppermint forest. That was where the contents were dumped, crushed slightly by Ralph, and put together by Felix.

What came out of it looked like a jumbled mess, so Ralph wrecked it and Felix hit the ruins with his hammer.

The result of that looked like a crummy shack, so the process was repeated.

The process was repeated again and again until finally an apartment building stood. It looked much like the old apartment building did, but it had that "Sugar Rush" style. Red hard candy replaced brick, white chocolate and frosting replaced cement, and blue hard candy replaced windows. Even the shingles and cracks were replicated to the finest detail. When everyone went inside, it was revealed that even the walls looked similar to those of the older building. Felix stood agasp in shock as the Nicelanders rushed in, gushing over everything.

"It's like you had the penthouse in mind when you hit that junk," commented Ralph.

"I did."

The rest of the shift was spent remembering and preparing for the new jobs. They looked around, organized the place, and figured out who should do which job. Even Ralph was included as they all remembered Felix's and Ralph's closest wins, parties they had, and even little habits and rituals that were stopped by the end of their time. But when Mary mentioned 'the day that shall not be named', Gene stormed off and shut himself into the room that stood where his room should be.

However, the arcade had to close, and Ralph had to do what he thought he wanted to do: go to 'that new game' (Mama Hen's Hectic Hawaii sounded terrible, even to him) and give the new guy that green flyer. He took the train, walked over to the plug, and, with a gulp, headed inside.

What Ralph found was unusual.

Instead of a train station, the plug held a wooden dock as well as a river, its cleanliness and salinity rendered unknown by the darkness. Sturdy, wooden poles acted as a fence bordering the two. Three outrigger canoes were connected to the poles with rough natural fiber rope. Ralph hopped into one of the boats, breaking the oars that slept inside. He kicked himself a little bit and pulled on two parts of the rope, snapping it. Placing the sheet in front of him and using his hands as oars, he paddled himself through the tunnel.

As he paddled through, his intuition that he'd feel funny and remember all these things proved to be both true and false. His time back at Felix's headquarters allowed most of the sorrow and remorse and memories to be released, but he still felt odd going through 'his' plug and not going into his game. He felt like he was in a kooky dream.

What he didn't know was that the kooky dream was about to get kookier.

At the end of the tunnel, he saw this beautiful tropical beach, all stretched out across the left part of his vision as far as he could see. To his right he saw miles of deep blue ocean, topped with a clear sky and the screen, which was supported by some kind of metal contraption meant to move it. A fancy hotel and a small, rundown shack, which was several feet from it, caught his attention as he got close. When he hit the shore, he saw some creatures playing and chasing each other in front of the hotel.

These creatures reminded him of Sugar Rush.

_Food _danced in Ralph's sight. A pizza slice was playing tag with a plate topped with steak. A bowl of peas and a glass of milk counted the few clouds that were there. A strip of jerky chased a butterfly around without a care in the world.

Because Sugar Rush made him accustomed to sights like that, Ralph merely shrugged it off as he continued to move foward. When he was thirty paces from the 'kids', the hotel's door opened, unvieling a light brown, cartoony, sweet looking hen wearing a green apron. Ralph couldn't really tell from the distance he was from her, but her height seemed to be on par with Vanellope's. "Come on in, children!" she called out in a warm, but creaky voice.

The children ran to her and asked all at the same time "Mommy, who's that?"

She turned her head to Ralph and lit up. "Why, hello!" With a ethusiastic smile, she waved to him.

"Hi?" He waved back and came over, causing the kids to scrurry behind the hen for some reason.

"I'm Mama Hen, but you can also call me Helen. Do you need anything?"

"I was just wondering where your bad guy is. I'm here to give him this." He showed them his sheet.

The children looked to his right and, oddly enough, got frightened and ran away in fright.

"RUN AWAY!" they cried, again simultaneously.

Helen turned behind her and then back at Ralph, carrying on as if nothing's wrong. "Ah," she innocently interjected, "Lauahi is right next to you and I think _she_ is our bad guy."

A husky but feminine voice cut in. "Honi ʻono ʻoukou..."

"What?" He turned to his right and saw what looked like a... pale-yellow fox?

The experienced Ralph could easily tell that Furball was the bad guy. Many bad guys have huge, heavy builds compared to the other characters in their games. Ralph was no exception and neither was she, except her build was that of King K. Rool's instead of Donkey Kong's. She was a bit shorter than Calhoun. She was less muscular than K. Rool and had proportionately longer legs, but she was still pretty fat, especially around the middle. Her long, bushy tail and somewhat feminine features made her look more elegant, but her large brown eyes ruined the effect. They made her look too childlike, childlike enough to _sniff_ him for whatever reason.

Ralph tensed up in discomfort. "What are you doing?"

"You smell like sweets..." She drooled profusely, the disgusting reaction getting worse and worse as she went on. "Like cake, and truffles, and ice cream and-"

"Listen, Furball," Ralph impatiently interrupted, "I hate to burst your bubble but I'm not here to feed you. I'm here to hand you this flyer."

Lauahi stopped drooling as Ralph handed it to her. She tilted her head as she read aloud "Bad-Anon, where being bad is good? What?"

"That sounds like a support group, sweetpea!" Helen chimed, "But why would bad guys need support groups- ohhh."

"Yeaaa in most games, bad guys don't win popularity contests." Ralph elaborated as he nodded in understanding. "We're told every day that we deserve to be mistreated for who we are, that's why we have one."

"But maybe there's-" Lauahi paused, as if to consider what she was really doing. "Do you have any meetings or...?"

"It's on the flyer; Pac-Man's, every Friday at 8:30 sharp."

"Got it! And by the way..."

"Yea?"

She got onto her knees, clasped her hands, and asked "Why do you smell like sweets!? It's like you live in a candyland or something!"

Helen simply stood there smiling, oblivious to what her bad guy was doing.

"Uh.. I had a... mishap... in some other game."

"Oh." She got off her knees, looking both disappointed and embarrassed. After a nervous chuckle, she rose her hand to say goodbye. "So I'll see you at the meeting?" she asked awkwardly as she dropped her hand.

"Sure." His reply was equally awkward. He rose his hand as well and started walking away. "See ya."

He paddled steadily so as to not get any more attention, then rapidly as soon as he got into the tunnel. Forget the food kids. That language Furball was talking in, her going crazy over the _smell _of food, the fact that Helen didn't even notice that she was _begging _for him to tell him why he smelled like sweets and not like the big gorilla warthog anyone else would say he smells like.

_Like sweets, _he reminded himself, _not the trashy warthog..._

Although it was obvious that Furball was obsessed with food, she didn't insult him or run away, much to her credit. There's also the fact that characters have quirks that even themselves out over time, such as Calhoun and her backstory thing. And she knew when to stop slimeing on him, so Helen's obliviousness wasn't because of a programming mishap or a glitch.

Still, he didn't want to go back there again.

* * *

Once Ralph was completely out of sight, Lauahi hung her head and stared at the green sheet she was given. "What's wrong with me?" she berated herself.

"It's not your fault," Helen consoled, "Maybe this could help you."

"Maybe. But judging by the way the guy was talking about it, it could be just a bunch of guys talking about how sorry they feel for themselves."

"It's a support group, it's about giving _support_."

"I know, but I have a bad feeling that this could be counterproductive."

"You'll never know 'till you try."

Two of the children, the glass of milk and the jerky, approached Helen from behind and fearfully asked "Mommy... why are you talking to her?"

Helen faced her babies and knelt down. "Everyone deserves to be talked to once in a while, dearies, including her."

She scooped them up in her wings and took a final look at Lauahi. Much like she didn't notice how hungry her counterpart looked when she saw her babies, she didn't notice them shaking.

Lauahi did. She shook her head wildly to snap herself out of it.

Obliviously, Helen softly smiled as she closed her door. Her villain, being unsure what to think of the past couple of minutes, slowly made her way to the crummy, "abandoned" shack and went inside.

* * *

**_By the way, what Lauahi said was Hawaiian for "You guys smell delicious."_**

**_I'm not really sure if I should call this an Adventure/Friendship fanfic, because even though where I'm going goes along the "adventure" line, some of it is either more drama than adventure or kind of ambiguous, so the genres might change soon._**


	6. Bad Guys Don't Fix Themselves

**_I'd like to thank Someone Somewhere (that's really his name) for recommending me on TvTropes! I'm honored that some think that my story is on the caliber of "Ghost Boy" and "It's Only Programmed" and will make sure that it will stay that way from start to finish._**

**_On another note, I've decided to change the genres to Drama and Adventure, mostly because my story is more about drama than friendship._**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

**Bad Guys Don't Fix Themselves**

Sugar Rush's salmon train screeched to a halt, signaling to Ralph that he had leave. As he got out of it, the giant heard an engine's roar from the mouth of the cave. It grew louder and louder until Vanellope pulled up to him in her hideous cart.

"Didja miss me, Ralphie?" piped Vanellope as she hopped out of her cart.

"You're not the only thing I missed, kid." Ralph took a few steps towards Miss President, who gestured towards her cart.

"Hop on! You won't believe what I've got cooked up for you!"

Her friend complied and settled on the back. Vanellope smashed the gas pedal, sending her cart flying beyond the apex of Mount Sourest.

The roller coaster ride had begun.

After a rough landing on the slope, the cart pushed on. It slid down the rest of the mountain and spun around a few times before heading right. Its passenger could barely see his former 'enemy's' new home through the thick trees. With a wild screech, Ralph was torn away from the forest as his driver rushed off in the opposite direction.

Although she was blazing deeper and deeper into the game, Vanellope drove straight for most of the ride, only varying with a few turns. It was as if she had some place in mind. It was too far west for their destination to be the bakery, and too far east for it to be the castle. It was probably a trip to the volcano or the pink lemonade lake. Maybe the Fix-Its were already there and the reason for Vanellope's driving was to avoid being late.

_Speaking of late, isn't today Friday?_

The train of thought stopped when Ralph thought he saw a red 'T' on top of a gleaming white sphere in the shadows. He dug into the ground, taking away all of the cart's momentum.

"What's the big idea!?"

Ralph flew off the trunk and took off into the forest with his fists raised.

**"TURBO!"**

Holding back a squeak, Vanellope glitched after him. She caught up to him in no time at all, finding him standing in front of something white.

Vanellope cautiously came up from behind her big brother. "I-is that really-?"

It wasn't. It was just an obvious decoy made from the forest's peppermint bark and pretzels. The sphere Ralph saw was just a truffle with a taffy 'T' stamped on it.

"I gotta get Gloyd to knock it off with those kindsa pranks," Vanellope noted to herself.

Suddenly, a deep growling rumbled from behind the decoy, accompanied by a steady stream of crunching and snapping. A blocky, enormous figure loomed ever closer, ignoring the forest that surrounded it. Gradually, the figure showed its palette (a variety of dark reds and browns) as well as its shape, which was exactly like that of a bulldozer topped with two wrecking balls. The pair backed away a few feet, thinking that it would run them over. What made that pointless was that it stopped right behind the plain decoy, somehow being dangerously close to it without even touching it. High up, a door opened, releasing Gloyd. The orange racer leaped down to them like a cat.

Gloyd sounded like a male Vanellope, complete with the raspy voice. "Here it is," he casually declared, "the Party Crasher!"

The racer was taken by surprise as Vanellope stepped forward, giving him a rough shove and knocking him to the ground.

"I hope you like your crummy decoy, because it's gonna be your only pal in the Fungeon!"

"Wait, what deco-"

"That one," Ralph sternly answered as he pointed at the fake Turbo. "You know that we're looking for him!"

"I didn't make that!" he snapped as he got up and dusted himself off. "Besides, if I did, it'd look a lot nicer than that goofy thing!"

The two friends glanced at it, then back at him.

"Fine," spat Vanellope, "but not because we believe you."

"We'll let you off the hook this time, kid. Just remember one very important thing; the one time we ignore something like that, it would really be him. Got it?"

"Sure." He dashed off, but not before sarcastically saying "You're welcome."

Ralph watched him sprint away as Vanellope studied her gift to him.

The thing was monstrous, even for its intended driver. Stale slabs of red velvet cake were held together by chocolate icing as a milk chocolate blade guarded its front. The two jawbreaker wrecking balls were clumsily yet tightly tied to dark chocolate beams with cherry Twizzlers. The same kinds of licorice kept the bark candy track intact as jawbreaker wheels huddled together inside. Such a bizarrely intimidating cake was topped by a silly cherry; a pink straw exhaust pipe.

"Let's take this baby for a test drive!" enticed Vanellope as she teleported into the cab.

"Alright!"

Ralph tentatively climbed into the cab and awakened the beast using the candy cane key, which was still in the ignition. The control panel was simple enough; a joystick to his right and left, a steering wheel, basic cart pedals, and three obnoxiously glowing buttons. Instantly, he grabbed the wheel and took control, crushing the tacky fake Turbo as he did so. Vanellope, who was sitting on his lap after he got in, was impressed.

"Wow! How did you learn how to drive a bulldozer!?"

"Long story. Let's just say I tried to wreck the building in a different way."

The goliath trudged out of the woods, crushing every tree in its way. The path came into view and the minx ordered the driver to stop.

"Okay, now pull one of those joysticks!" she ordered.

Ralph pulled on the one to his right backwards, and the right wrecking ball swung at the cab, glazing it. He forced the stick foward to compensate. The stick snapped off and the ball back and forth like a pendulum.

"Umm... press the blue button," Vanellope ordered.

"Why?"

"Just do it."

The wrecker did so, causing the bulldozer to go from its rather sluggish pace to the average speed of a cart. Both of his new toys were forced back by the inertia. Euphoria embraced him immediately.

_So this why everyone's so gung-ho about racing. This is a blast! _

"Woooo!" he cried. "This is actually pretty fun!"

"Now you finally got a taste of racing... sort of. It's cool towering over everything and all, but without the competition and the wind in your face it's just not the same."

Focusing on the road for a moment, Ralph headed for the castle. He pressed the red button out of curiosity, and a thunderous roar deafened both riders. They stared at each other with the most surprised faces, then snapped out of it as they laughed.

Ralph drove all the way to the castle with no problem at all. It was almost as if it was in his code, much like racing was in Vanellope's.

As if.

He pulled up to the castle and saw Taffyta, who leaned on the right side of the entrance as she coolly sucking her typical lollipop by the main door.

"Huh. Thought she wouldn't be here," Vanellope mused.

As he prepared to leave, his finger hit the green button, triggering a mechanism that sent both wrecking balls backward. When the pair's feet hit the ground, the bulldozer smashed the castle with both of its maces. Vanellope only had enough time to take Ralph, leaving Taffyta behind. A good chunk of the castle fell, and the cloud of dust it caused hid Taffyta. They just watched as everything calmed down. After it did, Vanellope ran off.

"Stay here, I'll get help!"

Stricken with shock, he rushed towards the ruins. Ralph desperately dug through the rubble, hoping nobody was hurt. A flicker of pink caught his eye, and he grasped at it. When he thought he felt it, it vanished.

Suddenly, magic sparkles rose into the air where the speck was. Some of it melded together, forming the shape of one of Sugar Rush's best racers. The sparkles became a bright glow as the form started moving, as if she was treading water. Swaths of color painted the being as the spell ended and Taffyta collapsed on her knees.

The revived racer gracefully got up and turned to Ralph. She put on a very nasty glare and slowly approached him.

"Vanellope picked a good 'cart' for you," she passive-aggressively began, "A bulldozer is _very_ 'you.'"

Vanellope's voice rang in the distance, "It was an accident, Taffyta!"

"It was..." Ralph meekly backed up, "Vanellope will just call Felix, he'll fix the castle and I'll never do that again."

"Of course she'd get Felix. He always cleans up your messes, doesn't he?"

"Well... yea."

"And you know_ why _he always cleans up after you?"

Ralph started to lose his patience again. "Because that's what he does?"

"Wrong. It's because unlike you, he _can control himself. _Because unlike you, he's not some big dumb ox that mindlessly breaks things."

"Mindlessly!? Look kid-"

"No. You look. Just because Vanellope's President and you're her attack dog doesn't mean I can't speak my mind. It also doesn't mean that you can go stomping around, breaking everything, ruining everything for the rest of us!"

"It's not like I want to-"

"You don't want to, but you never_ try _not to. Because now that you're this 'hero,' everything you'll ever do is okay; but I don't care if you stopped Turbo or not! I don't care if Vanellope's on top because no matter what, you're both _worthless!_"

"_WORTHLESS!?_"

"Have you_ ever _seen Vanellope rule this place? For the past how many months she's been 'President,' have you ever seen her do that much?"

"She helped out Felix and the gang, so of course she does something!"

"That's for you, Ralph. You and the rest of you eight-bit dinosaurs."

"Well us 'eight-bit dinosaurs' know a lot more about this arcade than you do! You better_ shut up, _sister!"

"Prove it. What do you know that we don't?"

"Uhh... Well..."

"So not only are you two worthless, but you're both _so_ worthless and stupid that you won't even try to fix that!"

"EXCEPT I DID TRY!"

"What? Bad guys don't try."

"Well this one did! It was long before everything happened!"

"I don't believe you. If you really tried, the castle wouldn't be wrecked."

Ralph's sole response was to tense up, snarling. Taffyta turned away, nose up in the air, knowing that her point was indisputable.

"Go ahead, call Felix, worthless bad guy. Unless you fix _yourself, _this is just gonna keep happening and happening!"

Ralph was burning up. How dare she insult them like that! After what they've done for this game! As he raised his fists, Vanellope flickered in front of him, her arms held out as if to raise a barrier.

"Guys, what's going on!?"

"Absolutely nothing," Taffyta calmly answered as she faced them. "Just figuring out what I already know." She walked past them, making a point to hit Ralph in his right knee. "I'll see you at tomorrow's race," she told Vanellope.

The pair was quiet until Ralph was sure that Taffyta was far away enough to not hear him.

"You heard her, right!?" he asked aggravatedly, pointing in the direction Taffyta went.

"I did."

"And you didn't do anything, why!?"

"Because if I joined, I'd make the problem bigger than it is. She's just mad because you killed her. Besides, she'll cool down eventually."

The wrecker just stood there, floored.

"What?" Vanellope quizzed.

"Nothing just... thought you wouldn't think that way."

"Don't worry, _both_ of us will get the chance to crush her tomorrow." She smugly marched a few steps, rubbing her hands. "Don't you have one of those sissy meetings tonight?"

"Those are on Friday."

"Today _is_ Friday."

"Gahhhh..."

Ralph sprinted past Vanellope, who was fast enough to hop onto him. She glitched him to a nearby cart and drove him all the way to the top of Mount Sourest. Once they were at the cave's mouth, she hit the brakes.

"I'll get Felix. I know he's around."

"Thanks. And another thing?"

"Yea?"

"You're a better leader than Taffyta says you are."

Miss President folded her arms. "I know."

* * *

Ralph arrived at the meeting just in time, as did the other villains. Zangief, Bowser, Eggman, Clyde, and the rest sat patiently in their usual seats. However, one part of the order was different. Lauahi was there, placed in between Clyde and M. Bison, all tensed up in fear and discomfort. It was as if she didn't know that if she was different after hours, then there was a chance most other bad guys were as well. Still, little was different besides that. Confessions had been made, stories had been shared, same old same old.

Mostly.

Ralph had been around for a very long time character-wise, being only slightly younger than Clyde. This, combined with his disinterest in most of his fellow bad guys' sob stories, allowed him to notice something particular about Lauahi. Whenever a bad guy would casually mention something like crushing a man's skull like a sparrow's egg, she'd grimace slightly out of a combination of shock, disgust, and what Ralph thought was disappointment or fear. Some of the villains' reactions, especially the good-humored laughter, didn't help. Her efforts to keep calm grew, which only made it more obvious that she was uncomfortable and wanted out. He wasn't the only one to notice.

"Are you okay?" Zangief quietly asked her.

She opened her mouth and left it there, possibly unwilling to find out what would happen if she said "no."

Ralph impulsively released a short breath. "My name's Ralph, and I'm a bad guy."

"Hey, Ralph," everyone greeted.

"I've been having a problem lately. You all know that I've recently moved to Sugar Rush." He intentionally left out his getting unplugged. "But I've been having a few... _problems_ lately, and I think it's time that I control my temper a little bit better. Does anyone have any ideas?"

Clyde, being the counselor, was the first to reply. "That's a good question, Ralph. But sadly, we can't help you with that, and neither can you. However, although you may feel that way now, just remember that you can't help it. You're okay the way you are."

"And because I'm a bad guy, I can beg Ralph to tell me why he smelled like sweets when he came over to my game?" Lauahi argued suddenly. "I can try to eat Mama's kids? I almost ate them before coming here! They're... tasty looking kids nonetheless but that's besides the point. I _almost_ ate them. They _almost_ suffered because of me! It's not my fault I'm this way but.. it's no one else's, either!"

"That's right, but we can't change who we are. Others have to accept that just like we have."

"Yea!" Kano supported, "We're fine just the way we are! Why should we change if good guys shouldn't?"

"Because if everybody else shouldn't be cruel to bad guys, then bad guys shouldn't mistreat everyone else! It's only fair!" She stomped her left foot for emphasis.

"Except they mistreat us intentionally. It's not our fault we have flaws," objected Clyde.

"And that makes much of a difference, why!? I can't spend my life as an outcast, but I can't spend the rest of my life thinking about food, and I can't spend the rest of my life hurting others to get what I want!"

Ralph heard that last part as "I can't spend the rest of my life living alone in the garbage!" and, oddly enough, in his voice.

The room was dead silent for almost a minute.

_So Furball's not so crazy about food as I thought, _Ralph considered, _but how can I possibly change myself? How can she?_

_I tried to once, and I couldn't._

Clyde sighed, as he had enough, but not letting it seep through his composure. "Let's end here with the bad guy affirmation."

Everyone got up, held hands, and chanted "I'm bad. And that's good. I will never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."

Almost everyone, that is. Lauahi glanced around, amazed at what'd just happened, what she'd just said, what she thought that her fellow bad guys ignored. Ralph also stayed silent, too deep in thought to bother. The newest character was the first to take the signal to go. One by one, the villains left the room until Clyde and Ralph remained.

"Come here, Ralph," Clyde gently asked of him.

The massive man lumbered over and sat where M. Bison had been.

"Remember a long time ago when you tried to change yourself? Remember when you went Turbo?"

He nodded.

"I want you to talk to Lauahi. She has to understand that while you may hurt others, your good qualities will make up for it. Another thing is that efforts at changing will simply backfire, hurting yourself and others even more. That's why the sooner she accepts who she is, the better off she and her game will be."

"I don't know, Clyde. It's not like she's going Turbo. And maybe... Maybe there is a good reason everyone hates bad guys. Maybe we can change, we just don't want to find out what happens if we try."

"But you found out, Ralph. You tried. That's how we know that change doesn't work."

"Maybe I just didn't try hard enough." He got out of his seat and marched to the hallway. He turned towards the ghost, bade him farewell, and left.

Clyde simply sat there, curious about the new guy's stubbornness and how she triggered Ralph's.

When Ralph went around the first corner, Lauahi came around the opposite one, holding a oversized cherry in her pale hands and up to her mouth. She immediately gasped and sunk back, which only encouraged Ralph to follow her. He peered around the corner and saw the flabby fox sitting on the floor with a pit beside her, tearing at the other cherry as if she was starving.

"Uh... Hey."

Lauahi's head jerked up to Ralph, startled. It then slowly went back towards the cherry, but didn't dig into it. Instead, she let both the cherry and her head down in shame.

"Okay, listen. I tried to turn myself around before, and it didn't work. It sorta... backfired, really."

"I heard." She twitched her right ear, telling Ralph exactly how. "But just because it's 'not in our code' doesn't mean we shouldn't try to improve ourselves. It doesn't feel right to me that everyone else has to accommodate us for something that we can control."

"We're not looking for accommodation, though. We just want acceptance. Well, or so they say, anyway." He nudged.

"You don't believe them either, do you?"

"Not so much anymore. 'Being accepted' won't fix everything I'd break in Sugar Rush."

She examined Ralph's build, focusing up then down then up again. "Huh." She perked up. "Oh yea! Does 'going Turbo' mean trying to be something you're not?"

"No. It means going to another game during work or game-jumping to take over it."

"Why did Clyde think I was gonna do that?"

He paused to think about it. "Beats me. Anyway, come on. The train's gonna leave."

She shot up and went with Ralph, leaving the half-eaten cherry behind.


	7. The One and Only

**Chapter 6**

**The One and Only**

The ride out of Pac-Man was quiet, but quick.

Ralph and Lauahi passed through the port together, and without setting off any alarms for once. The former turned to say goodbye.

"See ya, Furball."

He headed towards Sugar Rush as she did towards her game, but then she had a thought. How did Ralph try? How did it backfire so badly? Not only could she learn from that, but it would also explain why the guys at Bad-Anon were so unwilling to try. His answer could even give her a clue as to how programs worked.

"Ralph, wait!"

But he was already gone, leaving her to be absorbed into the crowd.

* * *

Man, was he glad he slipped away in time.

If Furball found out exactly where he lived, Vanellope would have not one, but _two_ problems to deal with. Well, not really problems, but still. If she couldn't resist the smell of food, let alone a cherry (even after throwing that little tantrum), then she definitely would go nuts in Sugar Rush.

Seriously. If she wanted to change herself so badly, why didn't she start there?

Then again, she did look ashamed back at Pac-Man's, so that eating thing may be an appetite problem and the rant wasn't her talking just to talk. He could give her a few more days to see if she really meant what she said.

Ralph took the train back to Sugar Rush and strolled over to the top of Mount Sourest. When he saw the castle on the horizon, he sighed. He trudged down the path and decided he wanted to go to Felix's place. His hand slightly touched the first peppermint tree when he felt a tiny hand hit his calf.

"Tag! You're it!"

"Not now, Vanellope."

"Winner gets Mary's last pie!"

The invited player hesitated, then charged at Vanellope. "You're on!"

Being a racer, Vanellope's first move was to lead him a few steps, then quickly turn left. Ralph matched her actions, albeit not as gracefully. He ducked in between two of the royal raceway's stands and waited. His target didn't know this, so she kept going until she was in the middle of the track, when she finally realized that he wasn't there. Her eyes darted around for a single sign of him...

And found it coating her and the space around her in the form of a shadow.

She jumped back just in the nick of time, so Ralph's meaty hands wrapped around the dust she left behind. Her next trick was to hop onto Taffyta's stand and watch him. Ralph's response was to pick up the stand and shake it. She leaped down in front of the opening, the side that wasn't being held by her pursuer. Peering from the stand's side, he saw her scamper away, so he tossed the stand aside like a popcorn box and sprinted after her.

While Ralph ran at her as fast as his stubby legs could carry him, Vanellope jogged. The peppermint forest caught her eye, giving her another idea. She picked up the pace, got set, and jumped on a branch. She climbed up the tree (making sure to avoid double stripes) until she was high enough to bait Ralph.

"Hello."

He looked up and started climbing. Using the branches to swing, he launched himself higher and higher with the surprising agility of a gymnast. He was aware that she was just standing there, but he knew that she was setting up for her next move. When Ralph was about his height from his playmate, she took a leap of faith and nabbed the branch under him, a double stripe. Ralph did not take his time and wait for the branch to disappear, but shifted to another and let go. Vanellope didn't fall, but moved to a branch on another tree, and kept going. Ralph swung on the same branches, Tarzan style. Every jump and escape Vanellope made was copied. The game of charades stopped when the forest did, forcing the two to go on foot. Vanellope made a last, acrobatic flight as Ralph threw himself as far as he could.

Both of them landed on their feet, Vanellope taking a runner's stance and Ralph opening up his hands like they were claws.

He bent his knees...

And collapsed.

Exhausted, Ralph trudged over to a giant, wrapped Tootsie Roll and sat on it, panting. His friend hopped by his left side and started pestering him by kneading his thigh.

"Aww. Come on, Ralph!"

"Can't..." He paused to pant. "Too tired."

"Maybe if Turbo wasn't around or if, I dunno, you _jogged_ once in a while, you'd have more energy."

"I'd certainly feel better if I knew he was behind bars. After what he did..."

Lauahi's voice suddenly inquired "So Turbo's not just a saying, but a person?"

Ralph flinched back towards Vanellope's direction out of shock, nearly crushing her as he turned his head at the direction of the sound.

_Oh no... _

He wasn't hallucinating. At all. Lauahi was sitting next to his right, holding an enormous piece of truffle in her hands.

"Yes, Furball. He's a person." His tone was an odd mixture of exasperation and shock. "What are you doing here?"

"Furball?" asked Vanellope, who climbed on top of his lap to get a closer look.

"I wanted to ask you something, but I saw you go into this game, so I followed." She bit into the chunk.

"Huh," Vanellope interjected. "Is this the new guy, Ralph?"

"Yup. Meet Lauahi. Lauahi, meet the President of Sugar Rush, Vanellope."

"The one and only!" boasted Vanellope.

"Hi," Lauahi greeted as she held up a hand.

"So uh... Are you pregnant or something?" Vanellope quizzed as she peered at Lauahi's stomach, "'Cause you gotta real gut going on there." She pretended to hold a bloated belly.

The butt of the joke wrapped her arms around her not-pretend one in a terrible attempt to hide it. "What? No."

"Lardball's a better nickname, doncha think- Hey, why are you a fox? Does your game revolve around gobbling chickens or something?"

Lardball's ears, which were pulled back slightly, flattened halfway. "Because..." Lauahi was at a loss. She was simply too young to have a sharp tongue. Should she get mad, she'd either make it worse or have Ralph jump on her.

Fortunately, he stopped Vanellope there. "For the same reason everything else is the way it is, kid. Leave her alone, will ya? We went over this."

"Fine." She crossed her arms and pouted.

"Anyhoo, what did you wanna ask me?"

"Back at Pac-Man, you said you tried to change yourself and you failed. How?"

The question made Goliath transform into David. "I don't wanna talk about it," he whispered.

Lauahi got the hint, as she got off the log, held up her arms guiltily, and began backing away. "Sorry..."

"It's alright," he whispered again. "You didn't know."

"I'll just... go now."

After pointing in Mount Sourest's direction, she scurried there, but not without plucking some cinnamon buns off of the French toast bushes nearby.

"Yeesh. She won't be leaving any time soon," snarked Vanellope.

Ralph just sat there, dead silent.

"What could you have possibly done that was so bad?"

"You don't wanna know."

"Yea I do."

"I said _I don't want to talk about it._"

She held up her palms defensively. "Okay okay, you don't want to talk, I get it." She turned to Lauahi, who was too busy devouring the sweet buns to pay attention, then back to Ralph. "What's up with Butterbelly?"

"You want the long answer or the short answer?"

"The short one."

"Alright. Basically, she's new and her code's not really too stable yet. That eating all the time thing's probably just a quirk that'll calm down as time goes on."

"Probably?"

"Turbo wasn't that old when he went off his rocker."

Somehow, Lauahi managed to approach them quietly _and_ keep scarfing down whatever she had left at the same time. "Went off his rocker?"

"Pfff. You dunno about the Turbo story? Everyone knows about that," commented Vanellope.

A disapproving look from Ralph made her change her tune.

"Yea yea, you just got plugged in. Listen up. When the arcade first opened, TurboTime was the biggest game for some reason."

"He never gave up the chance to brag about it, too," Ralph cut in.

Vanellope continued from there. "But then a new game got plugged in and took all that attention away. He went nuts and tried to take over it. Instead of doing... whatever he thought would happen, both games were unplugged and never taken back."

"That's where the term 'go Turbo' came from," explained Ralph. "Turbo was the first guy ever to pull a stunt like that. Before that happened, we had no idea that games could be unplugged, let alone two of the most popular ones in the arcade. We also thought that he was gone."

"But then it turned out that he was hiding... here." Vanellope's tone became stilted as she stared off into space for a second. "In Sugar Rush."

Lauahi merely stared at them, disturbed. The tiny racer quivered like a leaf, then hardened.

"You wanna see a _real_ bad guy? Then look for him."

"He does sound pretty power hungry..."

Miss President cheered up just enough to crack another joke. "Not as hungry as you are for-"

"He's not just power hungry," growled Ralph, "He's a _monster. _A monster who made a little girl a pariah for nine years just so he can hog the spotlight!"

It clicked in Lauahi's head who the little girl was, but she knew better than to say anything.

"He's out there! The most powerful virus in the arcade! And all people care about is smooching and building decoys of him!" The nine-feet tall man was shaking. "It's like nothing happened! It's like they want Vanellope to be a gltch again!"

"Ralph! Calm down!" Vanellope piped.

"No." He snatched her and lifted her up to his face. "You listen to me. Every day we don't find him is another chance for him to change everything back!"

"He won't change everything if we don't let him." She teleported out of his grasp, catching Lauahi's eye. "Besides." She bounced back a few steps towards her. "We have more help!" She gestured at the 'helper' as if she was displaying a prize. "She could just eat him and we'd be a-okay."

Lauahi started to lose her patience. Did Turbo mess up her code so much that it went to her head? Was she trying to make herself look tough in front of Ralph? Was she trying to compensate for whatever Turbo did to her? "Kaī..."

"What?"

"I can breathe fire. And you're not that funny."

"You can what?" they asked in unison.

She stepped backwards, faced Mount Sourest, and unleased a monstrous burst of flame that was a good six-seven feet in length. It was like she was part dragon. Such an act lasted for five seconds, but her audience was floored nonetheless.

She faced them and explained "It's one of the ways I harass Helen when kids play my game. I still don't really now how it works."

Ralph continued to stare, familiarized but still intrigued, but his friend cried out "That's so cool!"

The little girl started bouncing around her entertainer, jabbing her pudgy fingers at her as she went on. "It's like your head's a flamethrower! Now Candlehead won't have to complain when her candle goes out or can you only spit that amount? Wait wait wait maybe we can have bonfires and roast marshmallows and put on big shows and stuff!"

"Marshmallows sound nice..." She shook her head abruptly. "But I have other things to do right now."

"Like what?"

"Boris has been in something called a 'code vault.' I wanna find out what that is."

"But wait a minute," Ralph interrupted, "I only saw Helen and those food kid things back at your game. Who's Boris?"

Instead of answering right away, Lauahi wishfully drifted off. "Food kid things... Oh! Remember that metal mover under my game's screen?"

"Yea?"

"Boris is the guy who uses it during hours. He doesn't trust me or leave the hotel much, though."

"A hotel?" parroted Vanellope. "And I thought you were just some fat load that eats all the time! Let's go there, Ralph!"

"It's getting late, and I don't think this Boris character will like the idea of us being there," Ralph responded.

"He won't, especially if he knew that you guys went there to see _me,_" added Lauahi.

"I know how _that _feels."

"And thinking about it... He'd think I'm doing something suspicious if I stay here for too long so I better get going." She started running towards Mount Sourest very fast, especially for someone her size, but it still looked rather comical to Vanellope. "Goodbye!"

Ralph simply waved goodbye as his remaining friend held back snickers. The second she disappeared, Calhoun and Felix flew in on her hoverboard and landed. Both of them were gazing in the direction Lauahi dashed off.

Calhoun was the first to talk. "Who was having that tea party with you, Wreck-It?"

"The new guy."

* * *

"_**Kaī" is an Hawaiian interjection for annoyance, displeasure, or frustration, much like "Ai yai yai."**_


	8. Moment of Clarity

**Chapter 7**

**Moment of Clarity**

"The new guy, huh?" Calhoun repeated.

"Yup," Ralph confirmed.

"She ran pretty fast."

"You should've seen her up close!" Vanellope piped. "She's huge!"

"We_ did_ want to see her," Felix sighed sadly. "She's a new neighbor."

Ralph's face held a tiny but warm smile. "I thought you'd say that. Too bad we didn't see ya."

"Well if it wasn't for those little fireworks you just had, we wouldn't have seen you, either," the soldier stated.

Vanellope jumped up and down upon hearing the part about the fireworks. "Oh, _she_ was the one who did that! She actually can_ breathe fire!_ Isn't that cool?!"

"Eh," grunted Ralph. "Maybe."

Felix recoiled at the thought of having that amount of fire course through his body. "Yeesh." He quickly shifted his focus. "So, Ralph, what was she like?"

"Well, she sniffed me back when I handed her that flyer. And she had a little fit during tonight's meeting. But she's alright."

Felix's brow rose and his mouth opened slightly in confusion.

"Wait a minute, she _sniffed_ you?" Calhoun questioned skeptically.

"Yea! Because apparently I smell like sweets."

The little girl never passed up a chance to tease him. "Pff, imagine if sweets smell like you!"

"A fit?" backtracked Felix.

"Yeah. She went on about how we shouldn't treat others badly if everyone else can't treat us badly, and she did have a point. But she's young and eats all the time, so I'm not gonna take it too seriously yet."

Felix remembered the-day-that-must-not-be-named and noted the similarities. "A bad guy that wants to change... sounds like you, Ralph."

"Sorta. I was just tired of living alone in the garbage. Her, though... I don't know." He shrugged.

"Well one thing's for certain, it's getting late," Calhoun stated as she got back on her board. "Come on, Fix-It."

Her husband followed suit and the two flew off.

* * *

The castle looked brand new by the time Ralph and Vanellope arrived. There was no sign of it ever having been smashed, a fact Ralph decided to mention.

"Felix did a good job as always."

"Actually... I fixed it."

"How?"

"Luckily you didn't smash the wing with the code vault. Went in there, reset the castle, good as new."

"Did you get anyone to watch you?"

"Uh, yeah. You think I'm dumb enough to not get anyone?" She knocked on the massive door and was answered by Sour Bill, who looked even more dour than usual.

"Yes, Miss President?"

"Just the door, Sour Bill," answered Vanellope. "Thanks a bunch!"

Sour Bill gave a tired grunt as he nodded and waddled off, leaving Ralph and Vanellope to march up to Ralph's room. Vanellope's big brother then proceeded to collapse onto his bed. Vanellope, instead continuing to harass him, watched him lie there sympathetically.

"Long day, huh?"

"Yup. And tomorrow will be even longer."

"Fair enough." She opened the gram cracker door and was halfway through it when she cooed with a sugary-sweet voice: "Good night, Napoleon Bonafarte."

"Night, Princess Pintsize."

She left.

Despite his utter exhaustion, Ralph found it hard to get to sleep. He laid there with both his eyes and arms wide open. Try as he might, three big questions couldn't stop bothering him.

Even though breaking things and being angry was part of his job description, did that make it okay?

If it wasn't okay, how could he go about fixing that? _Could_ he even try if he wanted?

First, he focused on what he'd been hearing at Bad-Anon. 'It's in our code to be bad,' they'd say. 'It's our job to be an obstacle. We can't change who we are, but our good qualities will make up for it. Besides, if nobody else should change, then why should we?'

But then Ralph remembered a good amount of what he did after work.

Forget most of the other things that he'd smashed, cracked, crushed, demolished, or otherwise broke for the past thirty years. When he smashed Vanellope's cart, he smashed her dreams of finally being accepted; of finally being the person that she felt she was. Had Taffyta been outside her game when the castle collapsed or Felix been outside of his when that chunk of ceiling hit him, it would have been game over for both of them.

Did being a 'good person' really make up for that?

Then Ralph remembered something.

Turbo once fit the definition of a 'good person', and he ended up transforming into a monster.

Being a 'good person' was not a viable excuse anymore.

There was no excuse for destroying things after work, no excuse for endangering three games and countless lives...

It was no excuse for what happened twenty six years ago, on the day when Ralph's efforts to change blew up in his face and he gave up.

_"How did you fail?"_ he remembered Lauahi ask.

Lauahi's question lingered with him, setting his mind adrift back to an event he'd been pushing away for twenty six years.

* * *

_"Hey guys!" Ralph greeted as he shoved the door open._

_"Uh.. Why, Hello Ralph!" Felix nervously greeted back._

_It was an average game night at Fix-It Felix Jr. In one of the penthouse's smaller rooms, Felix, Gene, and Mary were playing a game of Sorry on the floor. The blue, red, and green pawns were used respectively, leaving the yellow pieces up for grabs._

_"Can I play?"_

_"Absolutely no-" Gene replied before getting cut off by Felix._

_"Sure! Just take the yellow bits and we'll continue."_

_Ralph obliged and sat at the unoccupied spot, dwarfing everyone else in the room. Gene took a chance to disapprovingly glare at Felix, who shrugged apologetically._

_"Alrighty," Felix said. "Your turn, Gene."_

_Gene took a card from the stack, read it, and moved his pawn three spaces foward. Mary did the same, but moved her pawn two spaces back. The game went on until Felix's pawn was two paces behind Ralph's. He took a card..._

_Which was a two card._

_"Oh dear." Mary whispered._

_Ralph's disappointment was as obvious as Felix's timidity. The latter gingerly moved his piece ahead, and carefully touched Ralph's pawn._

_Then, he whispered "Sorry," as if he'd cause an avalanche by talking any louder._

_The wrecker suddenly sneered and flipped the board. _

_"Of course you'd do that," Gene snipped. "Typical."_

_"Typical what?" Ralph growled._

_"Typical bad guy; typical you. Do you honestly believe that you can act like some little kid and still hang out with the grown-ups?"_

_"Gene," Felix called out, "don'-"_

_"Just a minute, Felix." Gene emphasized his command by holding his left palm straight up in the air. "You really want to be like us, don't you? Be like Felix? Be like a good guy?"_

_Ralph's mouth melted. "Well, yea."_

_"Then act like one. It's not that hard."_

_"Except it is. I keep trying and I just-"_

_"You just what? You just get tired of acting? You just get mad because getting your way?"_

_Ralph didn't say anything, and instead backed away as if Gene was wielding a spear._

_"That's what I thought," Gene said smugly. "Because I'm tired of putting up with you, we all are!"_

_"Gene," Mary whispered, "stop. Before he kills you."_

_Ignoring Mary's warning, Gene continued. "Until you shape up, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave, and never. Come. Back." He jabbed his pointer finger at the door from which Ralph came._

_Oddly defeated, Ralph wordlessly left the room. He then left the penthouse without even thinking about it._

_Ralph couldn't remember what he was thinking at the time, but instead of staying in his game, he decided to go somewhere else. The angry man huffed his way into the train and rode it out of Fix-It Felix Jr. When it made its stop, Ralph struggled out of the train, ripped it off of its tracks, and threw it into Game Central snorted, and then stormed to the first port that he saw: Paperboy's._

_The plain, white bus was resting when Ralph tore its door out and smashed the gas pedal, breaking it off its attachment. Knowing that the bus was done, he exited and dragged the bus behind him into the game._

_At the first sight of a house, he charged at it and, using the bus as a hammer, pounded both the house and the bus into bits. He obliterated one house after another after another after another, until each house was a pile of rubble. While he was doing so, the paperboy watched in horror and pedaled away as fast as he could._

_It wasn't enough for Ralph's unjustified anger. He lumbered out of the game and into Pac-Man, where he hammered down every wall. He turned to Punch-Out and wrecked both the stadium and the boxers. He blazed through game after game until he targeted the home of Qbert. The rampaging villain was a foot from the port when he was interuppted._

_"RALPH!" Felix yelled._

_The rarity of Felix's anger snapped Ralph out of his rage._

_"Felix?"_

_"Don't 'Felix' me! You've destroyed almost every game in the arcade!"_

_Characters from several of the ruined games were behind him, all of them glaring daggers. Some of the bolder programs were blasting all kinds of obscenities at Ralph. The louder ones added to the roar not with cussing but with opinions confirming what the bad guy had really done for himself and 'his kind'._

_"I guess wrecking the penthouse wasn't enough for you!" an NPC guessed with a sneer._

_Another NPC thought it best to put in his two cents. "Or maybe you're dumb enough to forget to change your tampon!"_

_"I'm sick of bad guys!"_

_"Yea, you guys just can't keep that rampaging nonsense DURING hours! We have feelings too, you know!"_

_The perpetrator just stood there, mouth agape, fully realizing what he did. As the crowd carried on, Felix dragged Ralph with him back to their game. Once they were back, Felix looked at Ralph not with anger, but with intense disappointment._

_The fixer hesitated for a second before emotionally asking "Why did you destroy all those games? Why!?"_

_"Well.."_

_"Well?"_

_The larger man closed his eyes, then revealed "I was just tired of losing to you."  
_

_"But now many people have lost their homes. That's a lot bigger than losing a game, Ralph." _

_Like a child caught with a bat and a broken window, Ralph just stood there guiltily._

_Felix pulled out his hammer. "I'll be back first thing tomorrow morning." He was about to head for Game Central Station, but was stopped by the sound of Gene's voice._

_"YOU!"_

_"It's okay, Gene," Felix pointed out pitifully. "I can fix it."_

_"Those games aren't the only things that need fixing," Gene bluntly commented. "Ralph. Stop trying to be a good guy. You sir, are no good guy."_

_With his head still down, Ralph nodded in understanding._

_Felix faced the stubby mayor. "He suffered enough, Gene."_

_"No he hasn't! He deserves all the punishment in the world for what he did!"_

_"And boy, will he get it." Felix said those words as if he was about to put down an old dog. _

_After glancing at the tunnel, he walked into it. Gene glared for a bit at the still remorseful Ralph before going back into his penthouse. __Ralph kept his head low, trudged to his dump, and wept for the first and only time in his life._

_I give up, he thought. I'll never be anything more than a loser._

Such was the incident that changed the lives of current and future bad guys. Public opinion on 'their kind', although it will ease up over time, will be soured for the next twenty six years.

Twenty six years later, after Ralph made up for what he had done, after reviewing what happened through his now great experience, he had his own moment of clarity.

Change? Is hard.

But through years of varying degrees of effort, he still managed to change for the better. He still achieved better control of his anger. He still earned himself some true friends. He still earned the title of 'hero.'

He did it once, and he can do it again.

* * *

**_Sorry that this chapter was so short!_**


	9. Adjustment

**Chapter 8**

**Adjustment**

After Ralph groggily awoke and lumbered downstairs, he found not three but two filled seats in the dining room. The fact that Miss President had it renovated to accommodate less people emphasized that. There was Vanellope, there was Calhoun, but Felix was absent.

Vanellope had the dining room 'livened up'. Instead of a royally long table and fancy chairs, she decided to have a cozy, round table and four plain chairs. 'King Candy's' 'salmon' wallpaper had been stripped off and replaced with a soft, light blue one. The room would have been comforting had there been any talking, but there wasn't. Calhoun was grumpily eating what looked like stale bread from her barracks (sugar makes her go soft according to her). Vanellope steadily ate cereal before putting her head down beside the bowl.

Ralph broke the silence by asking "Where's Felix?"

"On another call," Calhoun answered. "Car accident at Frogger's."

Ralph's presence somehow made Vanellope awake. "You're up!" She ran over to him. "Are you ready for your first day on the job?"

"Ready as I'll ever be."

The three heard a knock from the door in the lobby. Calhoun got up and went over to get it faster than the others could even respond. "I'll geddit." Ralph and Vanellope heard her yank the heavy door open and sternly demand "State your name and business- Felix!"

There was some silence until Felix faintly muttered "Don't put me back to bed, Tammy... I'm fine."

Creaks from the steps snuck into the dining room. They were heard one at a time, as if a single person was moving. "You'll be fine after you get some rest, Private."

"No, really..."

"You've been out all night, Felix."

Neither Ralph or Vanellope heard much after that, but both concluded that Felix was put back to bed safely. The former, however, was worried by what he'd just listened to.

"I've never heard Felix so tired. I think work isn't the only thing that's eating him."

"He'll be fine, it's just that he's not used to the 'nightlife'."

"This isn't the first time he's fixed things all night..."

"Stop being a worrywart! Angel Baby's back to bed and will be back to normal once he takes his nap. Now let's go! It'll take a while to move both the Party Crasher and_ your fat butt _over to your spot."

* * *

Because Sugar Rush was a somewhat popular game, it received a steady traffic of players throughout the shift. However, none of them were good enough to trigger the Party Crasher.

Then Molly showed up with just enough time to play before the arcade closed.

Luckily for her, Sugar Rush had been unoccupied for a few minutes, allowing her to slide into one of the driver's seats. She popped in a few quarters and mentally prepared herself for another race. The screen displayed the character selection menu and right away did Molly select Vanellope, an action affectionately called by some long-time gamers as 'chewsing the racer'.

The course selection menu then covered the screen.

"Sweet Ride... Cakeway... Frost Rally... The Royal Raceway!"

Molly hit the gas. The control over what the gamer saw was handed to a cameramallow, who floated above Vanellope.

The countdown began.

Three.

Two.

One.

Go!

The racers blasted off, each one of them trying their hardest to leave the competition in the dust. As the fans cheered them on, Taffyta pressed ahead and came out on top, with Rancis and Candlehead trailing behind. Poor Vanellope was in the middle with Jubileena. This hierarchy lasted until the setting changed to Gumball Gorge, the rainbow gauntlet.

Giant gumballs leaked onto the track, steadily weaving left and right as the racers arrived. These boulders acted as a speed bump for the unfortunate Jubileena and Swizzle, but paved the way for Molly to guide Vanellope to fifth place.

The road to first place is rarely a smooth one, however.

"Sweet Seeker!" cried the announcer.

Rancis turned around, driving backwards to get a good shot at Vanellope. He fired, but as soon as the projectile was close to Vanellope, the latter glitched past it. She drove on the acceleration arrows and flew over to Wedding Way's path, overtaking Adorabeezle. The decorative mountain loomed ever higher in her sight until it enveloped it. It seemed that Molly was far from anyone.

It also seemed that the stems of the cherry borders were sparking.

"Cherry bomb!" the announcer yelled.

Molly forced her foot on the gas petal so hard that it was hard for her to make Vanellope turn. That amount of pressure was just enough to evade the tiny but still deadly explosions. The figure of another racer caught her eye momentarily, but vanished as quickly as it came. Molly pressed on through tighter and tighter turns until she found Candlehead and Rancis huddled together in the funnel. It was the perfect chance to use her second glitch.

She took it.

Vanellope made it over the expanse of Cupcake Canyon, her followers didn't.

It didn't take too long to catch up to Taffyta. The pink racer seemed to match Molly's maneuvers until the latter slowed down. Taffyta responded by going faster, anticipating a trick. Vanellope's direction then twisted and bent, the odd pattern being broken with a simple sprint towards first place. Three power up boxes appeared, and Molly decided to pick the middle.

"Power up!"

The power up was syrup which Molly used right away to slow and eventually pin Taffyta down. The ice cream mountains, the Creamalayas, were a couple miles in the distance, but besides that it would be a piece of cake from there on out...

Or so Molly thought. Vanellope had to muster up much of her strength to keep from shaking in anticipation.

The words "Party time! First place!" got splattered on the screen.

"It's a party!" The announcer cried while the sound of birthday horns blasted out of the speakers. "Looks like it's smooth sailing for Vanellope von Schweetz!"

Suddenly, the horns stopped. The camera moved ahead of Vanellope and positioned itself in front of her.

A rumbling roar burst out of the speakers, overpowering every other sound that was being played.

Enter the Party Crasher.

The imposing machine slid down the truffle slope and landed behind Vanellope with an unsettling **thud.** The surprise threw Molly off and, out of reflex, she swerved, nearly sending Vanellope into the beast's blade.

Even stranger, Molly heard "I'M GONNA WRECK IT!" in the wrecking guy's voice.

Wasn't he supposed to be gone?

"Uh oh, there's the Party Crasher!" the announcer indicated. "Ralph's never the guy for celebration, is he?"

One of the wrecking balls smacked the road next to Vanellope, creating cracks. Because she was within the impact's range, the force sent her foward, but not far enough to escape. The Party Crasher sped up to catch her, pulling back both of its maces. Experienced Molly, although that was her first time against Ralph, knew what that motion meant and pulled over to the edge of the track.

The maces slammed into the ground like two stones chained to lightning bolts, creating two massive splits in the road.

Once the two were past the splits, Ralph tried to get Vanellope out of the side by hitting the truffle mountain that they were by. This created an avalanche, and Molly was forced to move her avatar over. The weapons of wrecking then hung themselves over her and proceeded to pound the ground, much like Ralph did back in his home game. Vanellope used her last glitch to pull herself over to the opposite edge.

Suddenly, the camera went back to its usual spot behind the character, revealing a turn to the Creamalayas that anyone could pull off. Molly turned just fine, but Ralph 'accidentally' went off the cliff.

"Off he goes!" commented the announcer. "Well done!"

Not too much happened to Vanellope after that. Molly guided her all the way to the finish line sans any incidents. The former glitch received her umpteenth trophy and fist bumped her guardian. Satisfied, Molly beamed at her 'friend' and left to go home.

Wherever that may be.

"Alright, arcade's closed!" announced Yuri.

Upon hearing the signal, Vanellope hurried over to the cliff as fast as she could. Ralph couldn't have gotten far. When she got there, she saw Ralph's 'cart' dragging its who-knows-how-heavy frame up the hill. It managed to get back up, and powered down before gently releasing its controller. Vanellope scampered to him with her fist raised.

"Top shelf, Dexter Dogbreath!" she sincerely complimented.

"Top shelf." With a content smile, he held up his own fist and felt his friend's minuscule one hit it.

* * *

A couple of miles from where they were, Felix hazily watched them from the balcony of his penthouse. His head rested on his arms, which were crossed on the railing. He smiled softly at how happy Ralph looked patting his friend on the back for a job well done.

If only he could say that he was happy too.

Granted, his new job was more than necessary; things broke in games all the time. In fact, he had been fixing things in other games long before the threat of being unplugged even crossed his mind. He was glad that he still had a job, that he was still helping people, that everyone was doing fine.

And yet, it was just not the same.

The balcony he stood on was chocolate, not concrete. The penthouse that he lived in was hard candy, not brick. For the past few days, when he looked outside, he'd see the royal raceway and acres of peppermint forest, but not the peaceful night sky or that little creek or those apple trees that made Mary's pies taste just right.

Not only that, but patching up Mario's pipes wasn't narrowly dodging a brick _and_ a duck. Eating a burger from BurgerTime and just feeling full wasn't the same as eating a pie and feeling invincible. And no offense to Sonic, but a million of his rings didn't mean as much to him as a single medal.

Sugar Rush was nice.

His new job was nice.

But he still missed home, and a lot that came with it.

"Something wrong, Fix-It?" he heard Calhoun ask with an unusual gentleness. She was hovering close to him on her board. The marine gracefully got off of it and retracted the vehicle.

"It's only a simple case of the blues, honey," Felix glumly answered as he turned away.

"Felix, I'm not stupid. You rarely look as blue as you do now."

"I'm fine."

Calhoun became more insistent. "_Felix._"

He faced her, his entire face pleading for her to stop. He turned back to the view to admit "It's just that I miss home. I really do. And I keep telling myself that I'll get over it but for some reason I just... ain't."

"That's because you just got unplugged. Wounds need time to heal."

"But a few days is enough time, right?"

"No."

"Then how long should I feel this way?"

Calhoun hid her eyes with her bangs, as if giving herself some time to think.

"Tammy, please," Felix whimpered. "It feels like there's this gaping hole in my life and... and... I think there's something really wrong with me!"

Tamora's tone became dark. "There is."

She plucked him up by his collar and held him up to her face. When Felix finally got a good view of it, it didn't look angry at all. It seemed... calm. "What's wrong is that you had something very special taken from you, just like I have. But don't worry." She removed the magic hammer from its holder and showed it to him. "_We_ can fix it," she proclaimed with confidence.

Whatever grief Felix felt melted away, its place being taken by an enlivening glow of encouragement. "I guess it's your turn to fix."

"Not just to fix." She tenderly put him down as if he was a newborn puppy. "It's my job to be a guide, and I _will_ guide you out of this, or so **help me-**"

The weight of Calhoun's serious oath was lessened by Mary's drone of "Uhh..." which, of course, is something Tamora didn't appreciate.

"What's with the stupid look, shortstack!?"

"F-F-Felix has another call," Mary replied timidly. "A hotel in 'Mama Hen's Hectic Hawaii' has a hole in its wall."

"That's our replacement!" exclaimed Felix as he accepted his hammer. "I'll be there in a jiffy."

He went back inside the penthouse, but Tamora held out her hand as if she was reaching for a falling kitten. "Hold it, Felix!"

"Yes, my lady?" Something about a call to duty always brought Felix back to normal. Not to mention that Calhoun's promise helped this time.

"Are you sure you'll feel good enough to do it?"

His conviction didn't waver one bit. "Absolutely."

She exhaled. "Let's move out, then."

She threw down her hoverboard, stepped on it with her husband, and rode to the station. The ride was short enough, but when the train came and took Felix, his lover prepared to follow. Waiting was never her favorite thing to do, especially when it's for what feels like an upcoming disaster. The time it took for the sugary mess to get out of her sight was enough time for her to stay behind.

She muttered "Hope you're right, Felix," before going ahead. "But if you're not, I'll have your back."


	10. Mindless Eating Machine

**Chapter 9**

**Mindless Eating Machine**

Visiting this new game for the first time was quite an experience for Felix. He rarely saw beaches in games and had never seen one so real until then. He vaguely remembered some postcards that a little girl showed her mother a long time ago, but besides that, the game was the closest that he'd seen to the real thing. A salty smell filled his nose as sounds of waves crashing massaged his ears. It was as bright as Sugar Rush, but as low-key as Fix-It Felix Jr.

There were only two signs that anyone lived there: a shack that seemed to be abandoned, and a grand, baby blue hotel with a gaping hole in its right side. In that hole he could pick out a koa wood floor, light green sofas, and five figures waiting for him. Knowing that the hotel was his client, Felix rowed harder to reach the shore. Once he reached it, he strolled to the habitat as if he was a fifth grader about to introduce kindergartners to school on their first day.

The repairman was a couple of feet away when the locals came to him. One of them was Helen. To her left was a dark brown boar that was slightly taller than her, whose jeans only made his disproportionately large head only a bigger contrast to the rest of his body. A steak dish, a peapod, and a glass of milk gazed at Felix fascinatedly from behind them.

Helen was the first to speak up. "Hello, hello!" she gleefully greeted.

"Hello!" piped the children.

"You're Fix-It Felix Junior, aren't you!?" Helen asked.

"Why yes indeed," Felix confirmed. "Are you Mama Hen?"

"Of course, but my family calls me Helen."

This was when the boar, in a gruff but cautious voice, introduced himself. "I'm Boris."

Felix warmly held out his hand. "Nice to meet you both."

Helen accepted his hand and shook it with gusto. "Right this way," she directed.

Boris did the same, but rather firmly and rigidly, before the six of them went to the hole. Felix pulled out his golden hammer and quickly patched it up, much to Mama's amazement.

"I see they call you Fix-It for a reason!"

"They sure do," Felix paraphrased.

Boris's eyes darted to the fixer's right for a second. The NPC then eased in on Helen, getting as close as possible to the left side of her head. Felix could barely make out his voice as he growled "She's coming, get the kids inside."

"It's quite alright, Boris," she defied. "She didn't mean to go after them like that."

It didn't take too long for Felix to realize who they were talking about. "Wait, she? Oh right, your bad guy-"

"If I didn't go at _her_ they would've been eaten by now!"

"But Boris, you made a _big hole in the wa- _Hello!" Helen's tone swung from pleading to chipper like a pendulum.

"Too late," Boris grumbled. He turned to where his 'children' were to whisper for them to get inside, only to realize they were already gone.

From his right Felix heard a "Alo-Hi Helen. And uh... Boris." 'She' said the last sentence in a nervous and somewhat guilty manner. Felix turned his head in the direction of the voice and saw that bad guy Ralph and Vanellope were with. "You're that guy who rode that flying surfboard with the lady in black, right?" Lauahi asked.

"Yes I am, Miss. I'm Fix-It Felix Jr. from the game..."

His heart sunk, forcing him to unconsciously look at the sand.

"Fix-It Felix Jr."

Boris got closer to the grieving man, but just far enough to respect his personal space. "What got you so sad all of a sudden? Did our resident mindless eating machine trash your game!?"

"Hey," Lauahi snapped, "I get that you hate me, and rightfully so, but I'm **not** some mindless eating machine. And second, I haven't seen or heard of that game, so I wouldn't have 'trashed it' anyway!"

"Maybe that's because you're too focused on shoving whatever you can find down your greedy throat to realize-"

"That's because she didn't do anything to it," Felix weakly corrected. "My game got unplugged."

The four of them were silent until Helen spoke up. "I'm sorry to hear that," she tenderly consoled.

"It happens to all games," Felix stated.

Suddenly, Calhoun rapidly 'surfed' her way over the ocean, to them. Her eyes widened as she noticed something was wrong with her husband. She jumped off, leaving her board to hover unattended, and protectively got in front of him.

"The lady in black..." Lauahi trailed off. "Why are you-"

Tamora's eyes narrowed in spite at the locals. "Time to ditch this petting zoo, Fix-It. You're in no shape to work right now."

"I'm fine, really."

"Petting zoo!?" Boris roared. "You have a lot of nerve to come over here and say that, Soldier Broad-"

Lauahi snatched him up, making an effort to clamp his mouth shut with her hands and avoid his tusks. "Stop! She doesn't know what really happened!"

"His game got unplugged," Helen innocently piped. "Happens to all games he said."

"I know that!" Calhoun grabbed Felix's wrists and hopped back on her board with him. "But between you fleabags and me-"

"They didn't do anything wrong, Calhoun!" Felix yelled. "Leave them alone!"

The silence returned, if only for a second.

"Fine." Calhoun let go of Felix's wrists and darted off without another word, dragging Felix with her.

Helen started to run after them. "Wait!" she called out. "We forgot to pay you!" When she reached the edge of the shore, she jumped up and down, still calling for the riders.

After Lauahi let him go, Boris brushed himself down and hatefully spat. "We should've payed _her_. She could've bought herself a nice therapist with that extra money."

"She thinks we did something to him," Lauahi pointed out. "Judging by how they rode that board back in Sugar Rush, I think they're close friends."

"Sugar Rush!? Close friends!?"

She nodded. "Yea. Sugar Rush is a game with a lot of sweet, delicious food in it... "

"Of course you'd talk about food first."

"Because you asked me about the game first!" Lauahi snapped. "Anyway, back at that game they were in pretty good sync with each other, like their minds are connected or something." She pressed her fingers against her temples.

Boris snorted. "They have to be coordinated unless they wanna fall off that thing. Besides, the way she acted in front of him was all I needed to know to tell that they're 'friends.'"

"No, I'm serious! Their stances and stuff matched each other's very well. That can't be the first time they've used it together. They must have used it a thousand times!"

"Nonsense. If this is another lead-in for us to let you eat our children, then I'm not buying it."

"It wasn't..."

Boris leaned forward and placed his hooves on both sides of his snout. "Helen! Get back here! They're not coming back!"

Helen stopped what she was doing and sadly walked back to her hotel, and to Boris. Once she was close to both Lauahi and him, she meekly said "I just wanted to pay him for a job well done... He lost his home, deary."

Helen's friend snorted. "That's not our problem, especially when he's with people like 'Tammy'."

"Maybe you can pay him some other time," Lauahi suggested.

Helen's face lit up. "Maybe I could. Come now, Boris."

The pair went to the door while Lauahi backed away a few steps. Helen entered her home first. Boris came in next, but not without glaring at Lauahi.

"You." Boris never liked the idea of actually saying 'her' name.

"Me?"

He snarled "Don't even _think_ about coming here again" and slammed the door shut.

'She' just hung her head. "Okay."

After merely standing there for a few seconds, she went back to her shack.

On the outside, Lauahi's shack looked very rundown and rickety. Entirely made out of a dark, thick type of wood, it barely kept the rain from sinking in. There was a flimsy porch and two dark windows, but nothing much about it besides that.

On the inside, it looked... habitable. There were only two rooms; a bathroom and a bedroom. The bathroom was a tiny rectangular box, sealed off with a plain white door. The walls were the same color as the door, making the door look somewhat out of place. On that wall hung two things, a rosewood, soprano ukulele, and, oddly enough, a stretched out mailman uniform. To the left of the door, there was an average sized sink and fridge. Across it stood a small, wooden bookcase, stocked with books. To the right lied a plain bed with white covers. It stretched from the back wall to the front and allowed a red surfboard to lean on its foot. On that bed Lauahi decided to sit, quietly pondering what to do next.

Her first idea was to fish or get some coconuts, or even go back to Sugar Rush. That sounded like a very good idea to her. After all, she was famished (even more so than usual). She didn't even get the chance to try those lollipops, that candy bar by those box-like stands, a peppermint stick...

Wait a minute, why _was_ she hungrier than usual? Why was she thinking about food instead of what just happened to her? Why go _there_ after trying to eat those kids again? Oh wow, maybe she _was_ just a mindless eating machine.

A _hypocritical, _mindless eating machine.

But an eating machine that just wanted friends, one that wanted to get rid of that constant hunger, one that wanted to be a better person...

One that wanted to not be a heartless monster.

She should really try harder at controlling herself. Soon. Before something even worse happens. She could do it, just like she said back at Pac Man.

But how? She was hungry literally _all the time. _Abstaining for longer than twenty minutes only made it worse. Ridiculous as it sounded, it felt like if she didn't have anything then and there, she would starve. No matter how hard she tried, she just could not stop eating.

Then Lauahi remembered something. Tammy (Calhoun?) surfed with Felix, an action requiring a lot of control, especially with another person. Lauahi had what she thought was a control issue. She put two and two together. She could start her efforts by learning how to surf, and maybe whatever control she got out of it would help her stop eating.

The thing was, it looked really hard.

She scanned through her book collection for a guide on surfing and spotted some words in fine, golden letters on the second shelf. She pulled on the book's spine, revealing a dusty, dark red hardcover wearing the words "The Ocean and You: A Guide to Surfing" in grand but still golden letters.

There wasn't anything indicating that there was an author.

"Alright, let's see here..."

On the first page, she found the title and an author's note.

"Surfing is both a simple, yet challenging sport and a beautifully touching way to become one with the universe," it read.

Lauahi groaned at the painfully pretentious sentence, as she was a hair from chucking the guide through the window. Skipping ahead to the table of contents, she identified the chapter she wanted to read: "The Beginner's Guide."

Starting there, Lauahi read on, trying her best to absorb every detail.

* * *

An hour or so later, Lauahi got her surfboard and went to the edge of the water. She scanned for any waves that would 'suit her level', or small, close ones. Luckily there were plenty of those kinds, so she headed out and tried to catch one. On the first try, her sheer heft made her get on the board too late, so the wave washed over her and pushed her off. This happened for the next five tries until she managed to mount it just in time...

And lost her balance.

The surfboard was swept so far from her it took her five minutes to get it back. The novice simply picked herself up and tried again, managing to stay on for a good few seconds before the wave forced her underwater.

The water around her _boiled._ Lauahi was that frustrated.

Supposing that the waves she had been riding on were too small, she paddled further out and waited for a bigger one. Three minutes passed before what appeared to be a tsunami loomed over her...

And she began riding it successfully.

Gliding on the sea's wall, Lauahi was transported into the sea's cave, enwrapped in a blanket of color. It was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. Water shimmered and shone all around her as she kept her position. She could actually look into the bright blue ocean and watch fish swimming beside her.

Something that only reminded her that she hadn't eaten in half an hour.

Ignoring the impressive display of color and light, she thought to herself_ Those fish look delicious. I better fish or something after this._

_Before I starve._

Just then, a swordfish crashed through the wall, colliding with her chest. The tsunami swallowed her and tossed her around as it moved closer to the beach, weakened, and faded into the ocean. Several other waves carried her and her board all the way back to the shoreline, where she landed flat on her face.

At that moment, lava tears flowed from her eyes, and not just because there was sand in them.

She couldn't go thirty minutes without thinking about food.

As she picked up the upper half of her body, a sore disappointment grew inside of her, gnawing at her chest. Sobbing, she slowly looked up and saw not the hotel, but Ralph and Vanellope, who sat atop Ralph's shoulder. Out of sheer reflex, she recoiled and forced her legs to support the rest of her body.

"Ralph?" she gasped.

Ralph's head tilted as he studied Lauahi's face. "Are you crying?"

"Are those _lava_ tears?" asked Vanellope.

Lauahi said nothing and didn't move an inch when Ralph directed a stubby finger to her face. He touched the tear stream, and yanked his hand away.

"Yeowch! That's lava alright. Anyway..." He shook his finger and brought it to his mouth. "What's the matter?"

She brushed the remaining sand out of her fur. "I can't go thirty minutes without thinking about food..."

"Is that all?" Vanellope quizzed. "I mean that's still thirty minutes without-"

"But then I'm still hungry all the time! And no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try I can't stop!" Lauahi sat back down out of exhaustion. "Maybe I am just a mindless eating machine."

Vanellope hopped off Ralph's shoulder. "Well you obviously are an eating machine, but you're not mindless!"

"Besides," Ralph added, "You've only been plugged in for a few days. Change won't happen overnight."

Lauahi wiped the remaining tears from her eyes and stopped crying. "I guess you could say that... Why did you guys come here, anyway?"

"To see the hotel," Vanellope flatly answered, as if it was obvious.

"It's called a hotel, but it's not booking," Lauahi discouraged. "I wouldn't go there if I were you." She got up, retrieved her surfboard, and walked to her shack. "I'll be right back."

The two friends eyed each other, then Vanellope made a break for the hotel, only to be nabbed by Ralph.

"Aww, come on!" Vanellope whined.

"You live in a _castle, _Miss President, I don't think you're missing out on much."

President von Schweetz glitched out of his grasp. "But I've never been in a hotel before!" She pranced to the hotel's door. "I'll take just a little peek and-"

Both of them heard the door swing open. Out of it came a very unhappy Boris.

"GET. OUT."

"Hey, what's the big idea?" Vanellope squawked.

"I've already had two people barge in, and I don't need a third!"

Ralph muttered "Guess that's Boris", sprinted over there, and removed his friend from Boris's way. "Sorry about that, sir."

"Sorry, huh? Fair enough." The angry boar's voice seethed with sarcasm. "I saw you with _her. _My family and I went here for a _vacation, _and the last thing I want is to **get eaten alive!**" He slammed the door, again.

Ralph, still clinging to Vanellope, backpedaled to Lauahi's shack, out of which its owner came. Her arms were full of food, but she wasn't content at all.

"I heard the door slam." She turned to Vanellope. "I told you that that place was off-limits!"

Ralph leaned in on his aquaintance. "She's not a good listener, trust me."

"Hey!"

"Alright," Lauahi sighed as she shook her head. "Would you like to come inside?"

The pair looked at each other and shrugged, asking themselves why not. They just got there, so they wanted to make the most of it.

And so, the two obliged. Lauahi gazed sadly at the hotel before snapping herself out of it and softly closing the door.


	11. Yes Ma'am, No Ma'am

_**I'm terribly sorry that I haven't uploaded a new chapter until now! I've been busy with quarterlies, but now that I'm done with them, I'm back.**_

* * *

**Chapter 10**

**Yes Ma'am, No Ma'am**

Calhoun landed at the other side of that game, the game that made him a mess. It wasn't bright at all and the water seemed murky, but it was calm, and out of the way.

It was also the closest place that she could take Felix...

And hide from anyone stupid enough to not _mind their own business._

After they got off and Calhoun withdrew her cruiser, she didn't start walking right away, but Felix did. Just a few steps was enough for him to realize that Tamora was staying behind.

"Aren't we going home?" he meekly asked.

"Not just yet. I wanna know exactly why you were in your replacement game so soon."

"You heard Mary." His voice didn't convey an iota of annoyance. "There was a hole in that big blue hotel. I couldn't shrug them off just because they're new."

"It's not because they're _new._" The amazon caught up to Felix and crouched to his level. "It's because you're not _ready_ for them yet. You could've gave your hammer to me and I would've done the job."

"But I can't!" He unsheathed his hammer and clung to it tightly. "It's the only thing from our home that I have besides the clothes on my back! And not only that..." His arms held out the relic, his hands acting as a stand. "Fixing things has always been my job."

"And that's never going to change. But everyone has their limits, even you."

Felix's serenity didn't falter. "And I promise you that that visit didn't breach mine."

"Then why were you graver than a statue at a cemetery when I saw you?"

At that point, the wall of tranquility was chipped. "The sheer mention of it. It brought everything back, good and bad..."

"Hold on, you _told_ them that you just got unplugged?" She asked him partially out of shock, partially out of anger.

"I did. But by 'it'... I meant my game."

Calhoun exhaled in exasperation. "I gotcha. But from now on, just don't mention your game unless it is completely mandatory, understood?"

"Yes ma'am," he sadly sighed.

* * *

To Ralph, Lauahi's shack felt cramped.

His head touched the ceiling, although his poor posture made it unnecessary to duck. Three or four of him could take up the shack's larger room entirely, and he doubted that he could even fit into what appeared to be a closet. The plain bed made the space look slightly smaller than it really was, but it itself looked big enough for the three of them to sit on it. When they all sat, with Lauahi closest to the door and Vanellope the farthest away, the average amount of space between him and his older friend told him that it was so.

Ralph's host paid no mind to the tiny detail, eating much like she did back at Bad Anon.

"So," Vanellope began, "What kinda bug crawled up that Boris guy's butt?"

The powerful princ-_president_ was ignored, and only received more eating as response.

"Uh... Hello?" she called as she glared from over Ralph's lap.

"She's not listening..." Ralph muttered. "She just asked you a question, Fluffy. You could spare a few seconds and answer her."

Fluffy swallowed the last bit of melon, picked up a sliver of fish, and started eating that.

Irritated, Vanellope climbed onto Ralph's legs so Fatcakes could hear her better. "Hey, Lau-something, I know you missed your eighteenth meal and all, but you invited us here, so **WAKE UP!**"

Lauahi shot up and froze immediately before turning to the pair. Startled, she kept her deer-in-headlights expression, gulping down whatever food she had. "Wha...? What is it?"

"Do you have any idea what's up with that Boris guy?" Vanellope curtly repeated.

After staring blankly and blinking once, Lau-something answered "He thinks that I'm out to eat everything no matter what, including him and his kids." She stared sorrowfully at the sheer quantity of food in her arms. "I don't blame him."

"Lemme guess, that's part of the reason why you're trying to change yourself," Ralph guessed.

She simply said "It is." and resumed eating.

"Well, good luck with that." Vanellope's wish for luck was only half sincere. "'Cause we tried to fit in, too. For _years. _But when it turned out that we could fit in in our own way, people actually started to like us."

Because Vanellope implied that Lauahi was doing what she did for mere popularity, she took the little comment as an insult. "It's not about _fitting in,_" she growled, "it's about the fact that I'm causing problems for others and that it's not fair."

"Sure it is." Her sarcasm let up when she explained "We were rejected, just like you are now. You don't have to cover it up-"

"There's a _reason_ I'm rejected, don't you get it? And it's not because anything was messed with or people don't know how bad guys are, it's because-"

"You're a loser," Ralph finished sympathetically.

Lauahi leaned back against her wall and faced the ceiling. "Yea..." She then rose back up and proclaimed "But I can fix that, and I'm trying! That's why I was out surfing."

"And not because you're living on a beach?" asked Vanellope skeptically.

"Actually, I got the idea from watching this Calhoun lady take a man named Felix out of here on a black board. In fact, I saw them ride it together while leaving Sugar Rush yesterday."

Ralph took note of a certain detail in Lauahi's explanation. "Wait a minute, Calhoun _came_ over here and _picked_ Felix up?"

"She did; just after he told us that his game got unplugged. He looked like it hit him pretty hard..."

_I knew it, _Ralph thought. _When Felix gets upset, it's normally for a reason._

_And boy, does he have a good one right now._

Ralph shot up and brushed himself down as Vanellope glitched to the door. The words "We gotta go." rushed from Ralph's mouth as the sprite reached for the handle. He made a point to add "Right now. Thanks for having us."

Catching on to the fact that they knew Felix, Lauahi just let them go. "Alright."

They left with haste, leaving Lauahi alone to finish her food while thinking about how intertwined the arcade's friendships could be.

As Ralph made a break for the canoe that he and Miss President rode in on, the latter hopped onto his shoulder and glitched repeatedly, making him move even faster. Even then, his eye still had enough time to catch a tree that looked much like 'his'.

_I claimed that thing not too long after we got plugged in, _he reminisced.

_Its apples were the best! I wouldn't let Felix touch it when he buil- I mean __helped__ me build East Niceland. _

_If only I took that tree with me._

_And my stump._

_And my-_

Suddenly, Vanellope's creaky voice stopped his little nostalgia-fest. "Maybe you were right about the whole 'Felix being depressed' thing, Ralph. I guess being unplugged got to him badly, just like Ninetons said."

Instead of saying "Told ya" or "Obviously," he trailed off "It did..."

Not a word was spoken after that as they mounted the canoe and went on their way.

* * *

Knowing Felix, Ralph supposed that he'd either be in the new penthouse or out on another errand. They went to the former because it made more sense for him to be there, and by sheer coincidence, the superintendent was about to walk inside with Calhoun.

"Hey," Ralph softly greeted.

Felix was quicker to turn towards the duo. "Hello, Ralph!"

Vanellope leaped off of Ralph's shoulder as she questioned "Are you okay?"

"He's fine now," Calhoun grunted. "He wasn't when I saw him 'on the job'."

"There's no need for that, honey," purred her husband.

Ralph put his hands on his hips. "I don't know if we need that, but I do know this: something's up, Felix. What exactly 'happened' back there?"

"Well, I started talking to them, you know like I normally do," Felix rattled, "and then I mentioned my game and just... I remembered everything."

The cryptic answer brought out Vanellope's skepticism. "Uh-huh."

"You really miss that place, don't you?" the giant whispered.

Felix collapsed, his eyes totally on the ground. "Yes I do. That game was a big part of my life; a big part of me."

"It was a big part of all of us, even me," Ralph pointed out as he laid a beefy paw on Felix's shoulder. He took it off as he lectured "But you shouldn't fall apart like that and then turn around and act like everything's fine."

"Well yea, I mean..." uttered Vanellope, "You've ignored Ralph for thirty years, and he's still here!"

Ralph tried to clear that misconception up by saying "_He_ didn't ignore me, kid-"

"Hello!" someone chirped.

"Helen?" Ralph and Felix uttered at the same time.

Calhoun could barely contain a sudden growl. _Why won't these maggots just __stay away__?_

"I've been looking everywhere for you, Felix!" Helen announced.

"How come?"

"I'm here to pay you." She extended her right wing and opened it, revealing ten Sonic rings. "I went to the converter and everything. Is this enough?"

"Sure is," Felix said as he accepted the currency.

Helen saw Ralph and Vanellope and gasped, instantly remembering them. "I know you two, you're Lauahi's friends! Umm... She told me that you're Ralph, but this young lady is...?"

"President Vanellope von Schweetz!" Vanellope trumpeted.

Helen chuckled. "Aren't you a strong one?"

"You have no idea..." Ralph trailed off, remembering what Turbo allowed during his rule.

"You know what?" Felix peeped. "How about you-"

"_**TAKE A HIIIKE!**_" Calhoun screeched. She pulled out her gun, aimed it at the air, and fired.

Helen fled, her eyes wide in fear. She fled as fast and as far as she could go. She was fast enough to escape everyone, even Felix, who tried to call for her.

"Wait! Helen!"

By firing that gun did Calhoun pull the trigger on Ralph and Vanellope's wrath.

"What's your problem, Captain Crazy?" shrieked Vanellope. "Did your 'oh-so-tragic backstory' involve chickens, too?"

"Felix is in no shape to deal with those punks right now!"

"I can 'deal with them' much like I can deal with anyone else." Felix rebutted. "It's the _game_, Tammy, not them."

"Not a word, Felix, I'll scare them off good-" She started sprinting in an attempt to chase Helen, but Miss President just teleported her back.

"You're not leaving until you get your facts straight!" Miss President corrected.

"Especially not after _that_, Sarge!" Ralph said 'Sarge' with enough sarcasm to make GLaDOS blush.

"You don't understand! They shouldn't be anywhere _near_ him while he's like this!"

"Is that projection I smell?" Vanellope inquired. "Because he seems to be a lot more 'in shape' than you are right now."

"Oh, because it's _their_ fault that we're living here now!" Ralph went on. "Because it's _their _fault that Felix turned into a manic-depressive headcase!"

"A what?" Felix tearfully murmured.

Goliath finished it off with "Because it's _their_ fault that some glorified thug with a gun threatened them for just being here!"

"Unbelievable... You're a _villain_, and you're calling _me_ a 'glorified thug?' YOU HAVE** NO **IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!"

Ralph didn't say anything yet, and instead snarled and clenched his massive fists.

The young racer, however, was calmer and had a clearer mind, and therefore was quicker. "If there's anyone that fits that bill, it's you, Calhoun-"

"YES I** DO**, SISTER!" Ralph bellowed, "DO YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I KNOW!? I KNOW THAT **ONE** OF THOSE GUYS, THAT YOU HATE **SO** VERY MUCH, _ALREADY_ HAS A BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF 'FAIRNESS' AND 'RESPONSIBILITY' THAN YOU DO, MRS. SPESS MAH-REEN! AND HERE'S THE KICKER: SHE'S A BAD GUY, TOO!"

"I **KNOW** WHAT'S FAIR! I **KNOW** WHAT'S RESPONSIBLE-"

Felix refuted he by quietly adding "And punishing people for things that they didn't do isn't it."

Calhoun stood there, her face frozen in shock, before reaching down to snatch him.

* * *

The family kept up their quarrel, not knowing that someone else was watching. Laying low by Mount Sourest, the stalker wasn't as short as a Nicelander. He wasn't as cute and simplistic as a spectator. And unlike the bright and happy-looking racers, he was paler than Vanellope's castle and had a feral look in his eyes.

Hidden by a Twizzler bush, twitching and giggling with intent, was Turbo himself.

Now, being eaten and then broiled alive didn't help his sanity at all. Neither did a few months worth of isolation and constant, overwhelming fear of being caught.

But having Vanellope turn him into a glitch had transformed him into a twitching, rambling madman.

Oh, how he wanted revenge! His burning desire grew throughout his time as an outlaw, and at that time it was so strong that anything, **anything** that could help him, that he could at least do to those morons soothed it.

Anything, including spying on them from one of his game's many, many frosted mountains.

It was surprising how well binoculars made him see, even the makeshift ones he used. They were like special glasses, even better than the ones Ralph brok- he owned. The distance he was watching from, and the thick cover they shared, didn't stop him from witnessing the 'happy family' facade crack.

"I haven't the slightest clue what they're saying, but it turns out that not even _the glitch's little friends _can deal with each other now the warthog's plug has been pulled!"

It was as if he didn't have to do anything to get revenge sometimes.

He put his binoculars away and started walking to the closest thing to a person that he could access. The new opportunity to take back what was his caused him to glitch violently.

"It's almost **o-**ver, hoo hoo, all this hiiii-i-**ding** and G-G-G-G-"

The ghost rider's voice became garbled as his model dissolved into red pixels. As quickly as it came, it receded, leaving him as close to normal as he could be.

"-LITCHING will be finally over! I can take** everything **back and show everyone in the arcade that nothing can get rid of me! I'm closei'mclosei-"

Turbo was about to laugh when an important detail hit him. His face and hands held themselves still as gears turned in his head.

"I need to give those idiots a nudge." His body reanimated itself, creating increasingly wild motions as he rambled. "A push! But they're onto me, I can't leave the game, everyoneknowswhoIam-"

He froze again, but this time in a horrified position. He then softened as he remembered that when one game gets the boot, another comes in to take its place.

"Except... Except that La-hooey freak."

Ah yes, characters were just adorable when they're new, especially that junkie. It was right next to him at one point, but was too busy stuffing its furry face to even look up. All it took was a bit of tiptoeing and waiting to discover that it _knew_ the caveman and that wretched _brat_. He heard them talk about what he did and how he's the real bad guy and blahblahblahblahblah. But wait! With that said it'll find out what he looks like, and it'd be too late for him to get his revenge and he might even get caught and thrown into the Fungeon and be trapped completely-

But not if he gets _them_ trapped first.

"If I could just catch it before it gets the chance, I'll have Sugar Rush served to me on a silver platter."

It was the perfect plan; probably even better than the one he came up with to snag Sugar Rush the first time. The pig would be back, he just knew it. His time out there allowed him to review every fact and detail about the arcade, and an important one was that characters who are "fresh" have unstable codes, causing them to take their programmed "quirks" to higher extremes. Turbo remembered what the ape was like when the arcade was first opened. He also remembered how he trashed nearly every world in the arcade over a game of Sorry, much like he trashed_ his_ world over a crummy medal. But then, Turbo had the chance to do the same to him. And the weakling. And his painfully _generic looking_ wife.

And most of all, that_ glitch_.

That annoying, worthless glitch.

He just needed to act fast, and that worm would be under his foot faster than anyone could say-

"Didja really hear something, Beezle?" Candlehead quizzed from who-knows-where.

He was thinking something along the lines of that_ stupid_ Bad-Anon mantra, but that'll do.

Adorabeezle's sugary but crisp voice insisted "I did! It sounded like talking... _Turbo_ talking."

And as fast as he could did the biggest bad guy the arcade has ever seen scamper away from the cutesy racers. When they arrived at his former spot, Adorabeezle simply shook her head in dissatisfaction.

"I thought I heard him..."

"That's okay!" Candlehead skipped to the decoy and yanked its head off. "We could make a costume outta this head!"

"Do that when he's caught," Beezle discouraged as she walked away. "Well... _if_ he gets caught."

The ditz went over to her and skipped by her side. "Man, after all this time I still can't believe that such a spooky guy was our king!"

Adorabeezle peered behind her, if only for a moment. "Me neither."


	12. Collateral Damage

**Chapter 11**

**Collateral Damage**

"I just didn't want you to get hurt."

"And that's fine, but _they're_ not hurting me. My mind is."

After Turbo abandoned ship, the firefight basically cooled down until only Felix and Calhoun were doing the talking. The roster race was about to happen anyway, so both 'giants' had to calm themselves down beforehand lest they fight for real and destroy Sugar Rush.

"Gotcha. The problem now is my having to apologize."

"I'm sure we'll find a way." The negotiators took a few steps towards the penthouse, but then Felix noticed that the others weren't following. "Are you guys coming?"

"Nope," Vanellope answered. "The roster race is about to start." She took Ralph's hand and nearly dragged him in the royal raceway's direction.

"Uh, Vanellope..." Felix called out uncertainly. "Where's your cart?"

"At the raceway with the others, duh!"

"Grind them to dust, kiddo," encouraged Calhoun with a competitive smirk.

"Pfff, that's what I always do!" She started glitching Ralph and herself away. "See ya at the finish line!"

"Have fun!" Felix shouted as he waved the two goodbye.

When Miss President vanished with her royal guard, Calhoun's smirk sank into a grimace. "I'm gonna need your help with this 'apology' thing, Fix-It."

"Welp, come on." He grasped her hand. "We'll practice a few in front of a mirror."

"A mirror?" Tammy uttered as she let go.

"Of course! That way you can see how you look while doing it."

"I might as well do it in front of my corp." She let her hand unconsciously hover to her face. "It's just as dignified."

"Apologizing's always dignified, especially with practice. Now, come on." Felix offered his hand again, which Calhoun accepted.

His wife just exhaled reluctantly as she let him lead her to his penthouse.

* * *

Ralph and Vanellope got on top of her stand just in the nick of time. All of the other racers were lining up on the podium as the crowd cheered them on. The curtains were still closed, and Sour Bill stood in front of them with, radiating with his usual disinterest.

He didn't even flinch as Vanellope whispered "I'm here and rearing to go, Billy Boy! Say the magic words!"

"Citizens... of Sugar Rush," Sour Bill droned into the mic. "All hail our leading lady, President Vanellope." He "opened up" his "hand" and made way.

Ralph brushed the curtains aside, but Vanellope 'burst' 'through' them anyway. "Greetings fellow citizens!" She stopped just to put her right hand behind its respective ear and hear the candy people applaud. After more than a few seconds of that, she glazed over the rules. "Now, we're gonna have to wipe the slate clean, the price is a gold coin yadayadayada."

"We do have to wipe the slate clean..." Taffyta muttered to herself.

Vanellope hollered "Let's race!" and glitched to the podium where the others were.

Everyone paid their dues and got ready for yet another random roster race. Vanellope's first friend watched as she, and her "subjects," sped off.

_And to think that Vanellope was just a mistake who wasn't even supposed to exist, _Ralph reflected. _Before I came around, she was lower than a bad guy; she was a glitch; a worthless little guttersnipe. Neither one of us helped each other out of the goodness of our hearts at the start, but that didn't mean we couldn't understand where we coming from. She was a loser, and I was a loser. But not only is she really the most important person in this game, but she helped me, and she weeded out Turbo. She essentially helped everyone, and for that, she finally got what she wanted: to race._

_To fit in._

_If there was anything good that came out of being unplugged, it was the extra time to spend with her._

"Ralph?" Ralph heard Lauahi timidly ask.

_Maybe I'm just imagining things. Can't hear over this crowd anyway, so I'm not talking._

"Ralph?" The voice was louder that time.

_Maybe getting unplugged had worse effects than I thought._

"RALPH! I'm down here!"

_Nope, no effect._

He remained careful as he peered over the right side of the stand and found Lauahi, who was looking up with a concerned expression.

"Coming," Ralph exclaimed as he leaped off from the stand. "What is it?"

"I overheard Helen talking to Boris and apparently Calhoun threatened her with a gun." She sounded pretty hurt. "Is this true?"

"She did, but don't worry-"

"Why!?" Lauahi recoiled, as if Ralph was threatening her himself. "She never hurts anyone! What did she do?"

"Fluffy, sometimes people are hated for stupid reasons." His slightly irritated tone implied that she should know that, even if it was obvious that she doesn't believe so. "If you haven't figured it out already, Calhoun is _crazy._" He accompanied those last three words by rotating his pointer finger around his ear. "She honestly believes that-"

"Shut it, Ralph!" Calhoun bellowed. She strode to the quote-unquote bad guys from the direction of the penthouse. "Hey, Lulu!"

Lauahi's ears flattened as she bared her teeth. "What do you want?" she hissed. "Haven't you harassed enough people already?"

Calhoun carried on until she was close enough to grab the skin on Lauahi's upper chest and bring the punk's still fuming face up to her's. "What I want is for you to take me to Helen."

Ralph yanked Calhoun off and said "Not when you're like that she's not. What was that about 'apologizing' again?"

"That's why I'm asking her in the first place!"

"Pīnē. You're just gonna threaten her some more, or even shoot her!"

"So. Why _did_ you threaten Helen?" a harsh voice interrogated.

Everyone looked in Calhoun's direction, and found Boris with a cowed Helen in tow.

The boar elaborated "Either something's going on that we're not aware of, or a certain _someone's_ getting desperate."

That assumption combined with that day's events made Neo-Ralph lose all patience with Gene's counterpart. "Why do you think that every time something bad happens, it's my fault? I know just as much about this situation as you do!"

"Because it is? You're literally addicted to food. And for you, the best food there is is right next door."

_Smoke_ leaked from the gaps in Lauahi's sneer, much to Ralph's worry and Calhoun's interest. "I'm not out to get you! I'm **NOT!**" She emphasized her exasperation by jumping once, her stomach jiggling a bit upon landing.

"Of course you aren't." Boris brusquely came up to her and jabbed his hoof into her stomach. "Just like how your weight can keep itself up and doesn't need any appetizing, mouth watering treats to-"

The fire-breather was about to bake him when both Ralph and Calhoun reached for her muzzle. Calhoun had better reflexes, and she wore gloves. The soldier could feel heat from crawling from the snout into her hands.

"She has nothing to do with it," Tamora corrected. "I was trying to protect my husband."

"From what?" Boris snapped as Calhoun let go. "Feathers? Eggs?"

Lauahi immediately uttered "Felix is your husband?"

Sarge ignored the what was to her the dumber question. "From going AWOL! From having a grief-induced nervous breakdown!"

"Grief-induced?" Helen's voice quivered like an autumn leaf. "What did he lose?"

"His home-"

"Our home." The mountain man specifically cut her off out of fear that she would feed the fire. "Remember when Felix told you that his game got unplugged? It did, and you guys took our place."

"You're Felix's bad guy," Lauahi whispered. "So that's how you knew them!"

"That's your excuse?" Boris questioned. "It doesn't make any sense."

Rather calmly, Calhoun said "Protecting your family from anything makes sense. You should know."

"Even things that aren't threats at all?"

"Exactly." The gruff tone of Ralph's answer made it clear that his real message was that what he was doing wasn't so different.

"There's a difference between imagined threats and real threats, Sasquatch, and that is if it actually affects you."

"Not all threats are physical, dear," Helen weakly cheeped as she held his right hoof. "I can't imagine what it's like..."

"That's because if what Soldier Broad is saying is true, then both she and Felix should 'fix' themselves a bridge and get over it."

Lauahi just stood there, mouth agape. The insensitivity stunned her. It was obvious from the very start that family and _only_ family mattered to Boris, but that one sentence was proof that he was unable to understand _emotional_ pain, to empathize. Ralph, on the other hand, struggled to keep both Calhoun and himself from doing anything that might justify punishment. _How _**_dare_**_ he say that, _they both thought. _This is an entire game we're talking here! He can't just shrug off that like it's nothing! Does he even know he's in a game?_

In a rare moment of defiance, Helen began tugging Boris away, centimeter by centimeter. "Hush! I can easily tell that it's devastating to them. You can't just 'get over it' like that!"

Boris resisted, digging into the ground with his feet."If this place is thirty-plus-years-old as you said, then it has to be a fact of life that games get unplugged. They must've known that it'll happen! They should've been prepared!"

"Fact or not, it's still horrible!"

"If it's so bad, why didn't they just stay there? It's not like they'd die if they stayed."

"Actually we would," Ralph growled. "Videogame characters die without electricity to support them, Genius. No plug, no electricity."

"And with the logic of 'non-physical pain isn't real pain,' shouldn't you get over your paranoia and stop being afraid of me?" Lauahi rebutted.

"And let you eat us? Fat chance!" He stormed off, nearly throwing Mama over. "By the way, Soldier Broad, you owe Helen a thousand bucks, or else I'll sue both _you_, and the moke!"

Lauahi waited until he was far enough away to ask "Can he sue?"

"Yup." Ralph muttered out of relief that Boris was gone, "But best of luck to him finding a good lawyer. What's a moke?"

"A Hawaiian redneck."

At that moment, Ralph finally allowed Calhoun out of his grasp. Strangely enough, all she did was take a deep breath, thank him for holding her back, and start walking to the penthouse. She didn't even glance back. The eyes of the youngest character darted around, uncertain about where to go or what to do, so Ralph decided to tell her a few things; give her some advice about Ralph-style self-improvement.

"Alright, listen up." He rubbed his hands together as Lauahi focused on him. "As you now know, surfing alone won't help you. So here's a few tips..."

* * *

**_Pīnē means liar. Anyway, because school's nearly over and there's a ton of things to do, I'll be going on a little hiatus until late June when it finally ends. _**

**_Sorry._**


	13. Thirty Minutes

_**Now I'm back. Sorry for the delay.**_

* * *

**Chapter 12**

**Thirty Minutes**

"A few... tips?" Lauahi asked as her head cocked to the side.

"Yea. You know, for training," Ralph replied.

"Training?" She tilted her head slightly backwards. "Right now?"

"Vanellope's gonna be here any minute, so we better get started," he answered as he rubbed his hands together.

"But we just-"

"I don't wanna talk about it. Look, do you want to do this or not?"

"Yes." Lauahi nodded and stood straight, waiting for him to talk.

Ralph, caught off-guard himself, was silent for a second. "Alrighty, let's see... Ah! Tip number one: when you feel an urge coming on, distract yourself. Focus on something else. Tip number two..." He shook his head, racking his brain, before he came up with another one. "Relax! It's harder to do it when you're stressed out. And tip three... I got nothing. Let's just... start now, okay?"

"Okay," she confirmed uncertainly.

"Alright." He took off. "Stay right there."

Once Ralph was about twenty-five or thirty feet from Lauahi, he raised an opened hand, stuck it into the ground (which was actually cake), and crudely made a medium sized circle. He then dug the piece out, and tossed it into his other hand, forming what looked like the worst birthday cake ever. He did so another three times, returned, and placed the messy lump some five or so feet away from the rather interested Lauahi. Ridding his hands of whatever crumbs and frosting were on them, Ralph went to Lauahi's left side and gestured at the tower.

"All you gotta do is stand here for thirty minutes without eating the thing, got it?"

"Do you have a timer?"

"No, but look at the sun," Ralph said as he pointed out the sun's location, which was directly over the entrance of Mount Sourest. "Once it's on the second hill to the right, you're free to go. Now, do you still want to do this?"

Lauahi shook, a little intimidated, but hardened and gave him a nod.

"Okay. One, two, three. Go."

Lauahi crossed her arms and closed her eyes as the both of them stood there. She tried to follow Ralph's advice by focusing on the sounds created by the nearby audience, but although she had excellent hearing, her sense of smell was just as good. Not only could she hear them, but she could smell them, as well as every sugary object around. That was no excuse, of course, so she clenched her fists and focused harder. The fact that she had to exert herself more, less than a minute in, was a very bad sign. However, pulling out at the time would be a very gutless and humiliating move. Besides, if she didn't start then, she wouldn't have had much experience or progress to build upon later.

Ralph's situation was the complete opposite. He was used to the effects that the world of Sugar Rush had on the senses. What he'd rather do was watch Vanellope breeze past her former tormenters, once again proving that they were wrong. He'd rather see her pull up, all happy that she got to do what she was meant to do. What he had to do, however, was to watch someone stand there with her eyes held shut. Lauahi actually looked like she was constipated, which Ralph found funny for some reason. Too much time with Vanellope, boredom, he didn't really care. Then again, that time he had a reason to watch. It would take a while for hunger or desire to take control, even if it was over someone like Lauahi. That, and he was curious as to whether or not she could put in the effort to improve, and not just, you know, give speeches.

Five minutes into the session, and the trainee started to show signs of strain. She tried very hard to keep her eyes closed, preventing them from scanning for anything. Her ears swiveled around, searching for new sounds. Ralph stepped back as he saw her tail swish tensely back and forth. _This is going to end a lot faster than I thought it would, _he thought, _which is fine. Not only will I get to see Vanellope sooner, but this also means that Kiddo here is where I was when I was new._

Ten minutes in, Ralph got tired of standing when he didn't have to and decided to sit down. Once he sat, both he and Lauahi heard the screech of an activated microphone. Ralph merely faced the raceway, but Lauahi tightened up as her eyes popped wide open.

"And that concludes... today's roster race," Sour Bill murmured. "Tomorrow's racers are..."

While Ralph kept facing the track, Lauahi wasn't dead set on anything. The surprise shook her out of her focus, and, as a result, her frozen stance became less out of shock and more out of want.

"President Vanellope... Taffyta Muttonfudge..."

With her teeth bared and her hands shaking, she eagerly took a step foward, and then back, and then to the right...

"Adorabeezle Winterpop... Rancis Fluggerbutter..."

She looked up and down, as if trying to pick what to gobble up first.

"Candlehead... Swizzle Malarkey..."

But once Lauahi took a final step to the left, she saw the unattentive Ralph. She froze, and as she snapped out of her trance, her ears drooped and her face fell.

"Snowanna Rainbeau... Minty Zaki..."

Disappointed and ashamed, Lauahi simply stared at the cake Ralph built, and didn't move another muscle.

"And Sticky Wipplesnit. Congratulations to the winners, and thank you to all who participated."

With that closing, Ralph's attention shifted back to Lauahi. Immediately, he took note of Lauahi's posture and realized that something had happened.

"You okay, kid?" he asked mildly.

After her mouth hanged open momentarily, she said "I don't know."

Suddenly, the bad guys got wind of Vanellope's call. "Ralllph!"

"Over here, kid!" Ralph shouted back.

Vanellope glitched to them, taking a gold trophy with her. "So uh," she trailed off as she studied the cake, "what are you guys doing?"

"Waiting," Ralph told her as if he was hiding something.

"_Just_ waiting?" the pixie pried.

"I'll explain in a bit," growled Ralph, "just wait."

He nudged the child back with his left hand while showing Lauahi his right palm. Ralph gently nudged Vanellope to the edge of a nearby tent, making sure that he could still see the new guy.

He leaned in on her. "She's training."

"Ohhhh, gotcha!" Vanellope piped. "For how long?"

"Thirty minutes. She's done ten already."

"So you _didn't_ watch me race today?" Her tone was surprised, but lined with hurt and disappointment.

"I was going to! But then she came along and Boris followed and the guy wanted Sarge's head... I don't know. And now, we're here watching paint dry." Before going too far, he remembered a certain detail. "Well... I _asked_ her to do that, but I thought-"

"Awww, does someone have a girlfriend?" she teased playfully.

"Pssh, no!" he answered laughingly.

They continued to talk while Lauahi stood with her hands clapsed by her legs. The almost outburst let some of the impulses out of her system, so she wasn't struggling anymore. Still, she couldn't help but think about that moment and feel _afraid_. She didn't know whether it was stress or that it was her first time actually _training_, but there was something more to her problem and it was terrifying. Not only because she almost messed up completely on her first try, but it was a sign that something was wrong with her 'code', whatever that was. Was that really normal for bad guys, as Ralph said? Even if it was, what could happen to everyone should she snap? Could she hurt someone really bad, or even kill them? What if-

"You should've realllly watched me today! I totally kicked 'thuh Swiezeez's' butt!"

Oh right, Lauahi could still hear Ralph and Vanellope. Especially Vanellope. Lauahi just had to relax, like Ralph said, and wait until after the session was over to ask. At that time, she could distract herself by listening to them talk about racing.

"First I was on that cake hill and he was in front of me and I had a Sweet Seeker so I decided to have fun by glitching all around him and when he got mad I activated it and then he was all BOOM!"

And then Lauahi decided that racing was actually pretty stupid. Why did they have to race? Was there a villain that they had to overcome in the end, or did they just... had to really, really do it? Those questions and more made her distracted enough for her mind to truly drift off, reflecting on how the place worked. Ralph, however, assumed that she was just as bored as he was. He payed little mind, as he was too involved in his conversation to care.

By the time Lauahi had five minutes left in her session, both Ralph and Vanellope lost the excitement that they initially had after the race. In contrast, Lauahi rocked back and forth gently as her hands fidgeted. Her ears faced the pair, pining for any sort of sound.

"Fluffy doesn't seem to be doing so good," Ralph calmly stated. "I'm surprised that she even made it this far."

"Same," Vanellope agreed empathetically. "It reminds me of the day I became a glitch."

All was quiet until Vanellope changed the subject.

"By the way, what do you feel like doing after Twitchy's whatever-it-is ends?"

"Beats me. I think we should crash at Street Fighter."

"Wanna look for Zangief's hideout again?"

The man nonchalantly grunted and shrugged. "Why not."

At that point, Lauahi stopped paying attention. Her thoughts alternated between foodfoodfood and what would Vanellope say if she did anything or what Ralph would say or what would happen if she doesn't eat soon. She tried again to distract herself by listening to the conversation behind her...

"So apparently Candlehead made a new hat before the race," she heard Vanellope say.

"Outta what?"

"Out of one of the decoys she found in the woods."

Lauahi heard Ralph groan. "So there's _more_ of the things?"

Decoys? What did Lauahi care about _decoys_?Wait, maybe she could make a decoy- No, that wouldn't work and that'd be forfeiting. Her mind was running like crazy, so she tried to relax. But how? She was too wound up to move around or do any breathing things. Maybe she should try to count to ten or something.

One...

Two...

Three...

Four...

Five...

Lauahi thought that she heard very soft footsteps. No matter.

Six...

The steps became louder, if ever so slightly.

...

Seven...

Who was walking towards her and why?

...

Lauahi whimpered as she realized that she could smell white chocolate.

It was like Ralph wanted her to fail.

Eight...

Nine...

"Boo!" peeped a voice. It sounded like that of a young girl.

Reflexively, Lauahi spun around with her arms out, reaching for whoever spooked her. She grabbed nothing, but saw three kids near Vanellope, who laughed along with them. One girl wore a dark pink and brown dress like Vanellope as well as a white chocolate mask. Another wore pink and white to the point where her hair seemed bleached. The third child was a boy in several shades of brown. For some reason, he wore a peanut butter cup for a hat.

Lauahi kept staring and frowned, as she got worked up over nothing. She turned back to the delicious lo- cake just after the kids stopped laughing. Were they fooling around with Vanellope, or did she or even Ralph set them up to break whatever concentration they thought she had? The whole training thing was terrible! Lauahi regretted making the decision to train there. She regretted going to Sugar Rush. She regretted-

"Hey, Taffyta," Ralph 'greeted' distainly.

"Hey, Ralph," Taffyta 'greeted' back.

Lauahi only heard such venom from Boris, and never from Ralph or a complete stranger, so she was surprised by the tone of both of their voices. She faced them again and saw the two glaring daggers at each other. Vanellope came in between them and gently pushed them away.

"Uh, love sure is in the air tonight, huh?" Vanellope joked awkwardly.

Ignoring the question, Taffyta flatly explained "We were wondering if you wanted to go sledding with us."

"I dunno. Maybe-"

"Who is that?" The masked girl piped as she unveiled her face. "Hi!"

Lauahi shakily waved her hand and said nothing.

"Oh, that's just a visitor," Vanellope disregarded.

"Uh huh," Taffyta skeptically grunted. She glared at Lauahi, who had no idea what it was for.

Ralph knew why. It was her way of saying 'That's just what we need, more bad guys'.

"I know what you're thinking," he growled. "She isn't doing anything wrong. Back off."

Disgustedly waving 'bad air' away from her nose, Taffyta backed up three steps. "Gladly."

"How about we go see what Minty's up to?" Rancis suggested timidly.

"Let's," Taffyta confirmed as she and her crew headed off. "Coming, Vanellope?"

"Nah, you guys go ahead," Vanellope answered.

As they went away, Ralph snorted victoriously. 'Coming, Vanellope,' after all they've put her through. Unbelieveable.

As Lauahi just stood there, unsure of what to think, Vanellope sat in distressed silence. Still annoyed, Ralph checked the sun's position, and it was right above the second hill to the right. He exhaled, calming himself down.

"Time's up, Fluffy," Ralph called out.

Stunned and exhausted, Lauahi fell, landing flat on her stomach like a tree. After Vanellope got on Ralph's shoulder and glitched him over to her, he could hear her breathing deeply, as if she was asleep. When his fingers reached for the nape of her neck, she budged. He withdrew his hand as she slowly got herself up.

"I did it?" Lauahi questioned tiredly.

"Yea," Ralph confirmed with a sharp nod.

She chuckled and smiled softly. "Thank you."

"Thank you for what?" Vanellope piped.

"I gave her a few tips before she got started," said Ralph, "and they... helped, I guess?"

Lauahi asserted "They did" before walking away with her right hand up.

However, Vanellope spotted a black dot in the clear sky that darted around until it stopped in midair. After spinning a few times, it sped towards them, growing larger and clearer until they all realized that the speck was Calhoun on her board. When she was six feet away from Lauahi, the former hit the brakes, but remained on her board as it floated patiently.

"Not so fast," the sergeant interuppted.

"What is it?" Lauahi was too worn out to sound all too threatening.

Calhoun didn't say anything, but produced a wad of cash.

"Ralph, what's going on?" Vanellope whispered in Ralph's ear.

Ralph cut her off with a sharp_ shh_.

"Here's _my_ half of the cut that _we_ owe your good guy," Tamora declared. "Where's yours?"

"At home..." Lauahi breathed.

"Then go get it. I'll drop my part off at eight, understood?"

Lauahi let her mouth hang open in indignation, but then said "Yes".

Calhoun nodded, and the two went their seperate ways. As the bad guy headed off in the direction of Mount Sourest, Calhoun took off and headed for the penthouse. Ralph and Vanellope were just about to leave as well when the former saw Lauahi scrape a piece of frosting off the ground and licked it off of her fingers. She then swiped a bigger piece and ate that. Progressively, she consumed bigger and bigger quantities until she was literally digging into the ground. All Ralph did was groan and slap his face, exasperated and disappointed at how quickly she fell apart. He assumed that it would be better for the both of them if he just walked away, which he did.

"Something went on, Ralph," stated Vanellope when they were out of earshot. "What happened?"

"I'll tell you later," Ralph grumbled. "But for now, come on. Let's race around the track, you and me."

Vanellope's voice had hints of disappointment and anxiety when she said "Alright". They disappeared as she confidently proclaimed "You're on!"


	14. A Pointless Bet

_**Reuploaded this one, as it was pretty error-ridden.**_

* * *

**Chapter 13**

**A Pointless Bet**

"Are you gonna tell me now?" Vanellope asked as she started her cart.

"No," Ralph refused.

"Now?"

He got on. "No."

"Why not?"

"'Cuz I'd rather not think about it."

"Are you sure? Because if Calhoun had to give someone money, it must be pretty bad."

"That's why I don't want to talk about it."

"Suit yourself."

Neither of them said anything after that as she drove around the track, looking for the Party Crasher. Eventually, though, they started to hear some kind of debate. Curious, Vanellope pulled over, and they slowly crept to the spot where the arguement was. It didn't take them too long to get within earshot, and the first clear thing they heard was from a girl with a Brooklyn accent.

"I swear, Turbo stole those carts!" they heard her say. "He's been hiding for a while now, and he must be getting pretty antsy."

"Nuh uh," Taffyta sternly denied. "It turns out that that fox thing you saw yesterday? It's a bad guy that's friends with Ralph. It must've eaten them, no doubt."

"Are you sure, Taffyta?" the voice asked. "I haven't seen it eat anything that people would actually use."

"Before we met up with you here, we found Ralph and Vanellope watching it. 'Miss President' lied to us, but I knew that whatever they were doing had something to do with its eating. It must be pretty bad."

"However 'bad' it is, it probably isn't as bad as the burning hatred that that creep has for Vanellope."

Ralph stayed quiet, kneeled down, and pointed at the ground while facing Vanellope. Vanellope walked past him, in her acquaintances' direction. He shook his head rapidly and waved his hands, right behind left, making a 'X'. She kept going until it was too late.

"Uh, what's up, guys?" Vanellope asked.

"Vanellope," Taffyta addressed, "we have a problem."

"What's going on?"

"Minty's cart is missing, and so is Jubileena's."

"It's not a problem," Jubileena said in a high, sweet voice, "because we could make new ones. We don't know who took them, though."

"I think it's Turbo," Minty stated in her Brooklyn accent, "and Taffyta thinks that it's the bad guy fox that's been around here lately. Do you know?"

Vanellope's tone suddenly became aggressive. "It's definitely Turbo! The guy_ hates _me! And I hate him!" She forcefully jumped at the word 'him' for emphasis.

Ralph finally showed himself. "And 'that fox thing' doesn't want to hurt anybody."

"Oh please," Taffyta derided. "You two think that everything's Turbo."

"Taffyta," Candlehead whispered, "stop-"

Ralph stomped to Taffyta. "And you think that everything's us!"

She didn't back down an inch. "Because you're both _incompetent_. I bet that despite all the time that Vanellope's spent wandering around, she couldn't find the carts."

"Well I bet that she _would_!"

"Ralph," Vanellope called out, "Sugar Rush is huge-"

"How much?" Taffyta offered.

"Too late," Rancis flatly commented.

"If _we_ find the carts within six hours, _you_ have to admit that you're wrong about us."

"And if _you_ don't, _you_ have to admit that you're stupid. Perfect!" She offered her tiny hand.

Ralph accepted. "Deal."

* * *

Vanellope, with Ralph in tow, drove back to where Lauahi was, and found a gaping hole in the ground. The pit was as wide as two kiddie swimming pools, and as shallow as one. At the side closest to them was Lauahi, who was still eating.

"Kid," Ralph whispered as they got close, "this is the wrong way to go. Just look at that hole!"

"And an impossible bet was the right way? Besides, she has _some_ discipline."

Ralph raised his eyebrow.

"I said some," Vanellope pointed out. "She has good senses, right?"

"Yes, but that's not the point. The problem is that she's-"

"Hey, Fatty!" Vanellope innocently called out.

No response.

"Ughhh," Ralph grumbled. He went into the hole and gently picked the surprised Lauahi up by the nape of the neck.

"Hi...?" Lauahi greeted.

"Look," Vanellope began, "Jubileena and Minty's carts are missing, and we need your help."

"What can I do?"

"Foxes have good senses of smell, right? You'd totally help us track them down!"

"There's that," Lauahi confirmed, "but I can also smell everything else around me."

"You'd be able to tell them apart. Just search for either the smell of cherry pie, or peppermint."

Lauahi just stared at the racer, galled, until she noticed the size of her hole. She watched as Ralph and Vanellope headed back to the cart.

"Are you coming?" Vanellope asked.

Lauahi nodded and followed as Ralph faced Vanellope and nervously shook his head. Vanellope responded by giving him an impatient look and a quick shake of the finger.

And so Vanellope drove to their next destination, Felix's penthouse. When Vanellope pulled up to there, not a sound was heard. Once the door was opened, they could hear all kinds of very faint sounds. There was chatter and clicks and dings and hums. Some of the stubby, toy-like people polished tables and mirrors. Others peddled laundry through the rooms, swept the floors, and baked.

As Lauahi followed Ralph and Vanellope, she felt that something about the place reminded her of the hotel back at her game. The things there smelled sweet and even the workers' skins were brightly colored. Some of the little workers were tirelessly scrubbing and cleaning while others sat peacefully with their coworkers, chatting over coffee. Some almost danced through the dwelling, happily passing out pies, while a few dejectedly swept the floor, facing it as if humming a sad tune to themselves. Lauahi thought she knew why the people were so depressed, but she didn't know why some of the residents stared at her as if she was about to attack them. That didn't stop the penthouse from feeling like a little neighborhood, very safe and welcoming. The fact that Ralph and Vanellope just looked ahead only made Lauahi believe that this was normal.

A few flights of stairs later, they finally found Felix, standing in front of Gene's desk while Qbert patiently waited for either of them to take some papers off of his head. Unlike the lower floors, they were the only people there until the search party came along.

Qbert was the first to talk. " #$$&^(*(!" Some of the papers fell off of his head, but he didn't seem to mind.

"He aha kāna?" Lauahi confusedly asked.

"&%#$! /?*/."

"He nehiwa ʻoe be hōʻike aʻu me?"

Ralph leaned in on her. "It's 'Qbertese'," he whispered. "Felix is the only one that really 'gets' it."

"Oh, he's asking if you all need something," Felix chirped. "Wait, _do_ you guys need something?"

"Yea!" Vanellope answered. "We need you to help us look for some carts."

"Well, I'd like to, but-"

"No, no, no," Gene curtly refused. "Felix is working, and he's not making ten customers wait just so you can find two easily-replaceable carts."

"But if we find the carts broken," Vanellope pressed, "we'd be able to fix them!"

"And ten people will still have their things broken. Felix can't go."

"He's fast and has that hammer, he's perfect!"

"However 'perfect' he is, he's better for his real job. You can't just-"

"Is there a way to duplicate the hammer?" Lauahi interrupted. "That way we'd be able to fix them without taking Felix."

"Don't be ridiculous," Gene scolded. "If there was a way, then nothing would be broken!"

"There was..." Felix trailed off. "We had a chance to create another hammer using our game's code. But now..." He stopped, letting his head fall.

Ralph went up to Felix and put his hand on Felix's shoulder. "So, he can't go."

"He can't," Gene repeated.

"Go on, Felix," Ralph gently urged.

Felix went off to sit in a chair by the window, leaving the search party without a new member. They were about to go downstairs when Gene commanded them to stop. He took out a sheet of notebook paper, jolted down a couple of words, and handed the sheet over to Lauahi.

"I saw you outside." Gene admitted that with some fear, and some disgust. "These names here are doctors, go see them."

Feeling stunned, the trio left the penthouse, which gave Vanellope a chance to complain about Gene. But when she started driving, she calmed down, and everyone contemplated where to go first. They all came to the same conclusion: to look around the race tracks.

Their first try was at the royal raceway. While Ralph was lifting the stands and peering inside them, Lauahi sniffed around the truffle hills. Vanellope glitched onto the scoreboard and peered around, scanning for anything that looked like a cart besides her own. Ralph dragged Taffyta's and Rancis's stands to the starting line and held them up for Vanellope to see.

"Don't take those! Taffyta's gonna rip her hair out!"

"Do you want a way to get the carts back home or not?"

"Fine, just make sure to put those back when we find them."

They were all very thorough, but alas, nothing, so the next step was to scale through Gumball Gorge. Ralph took the left side, Lauahi, the right. Vanellope alternated between the two, looking beyond the canyon. Still, nothing.

The team progressed through the rest of the raceway. They took a break on the Cakeway, nearly fell in Cupcake Canyon, and froze on the Creamalayas, and still there were no other carts. The other tracks were also no good. Sweet Ride, Frost Rally, none of them had what they were looking for. Once they scavenged through the junkyard, they only had one painful option: the wilderness.

Vanellope reassured her companions that she knew her way around, so getting in and knowing where they were wasn't a problem. For obvious reasons, keeping Lauahi fed wasn't a problem, either. The problem was the massive amount of trees, which clouded everyone's vision and, well, besides the taffy goo, made the scenery repetitive. The daring search was reduced to a long, boring trek, which triggered Ralph's 'nostalgia mode'.

"Remember this place, Vanellope?"

"Yea, it was where I first met you. Why?"

"Well, you know, it just, feels weird coming back here."

"Is it seeing-a-kid-play-a-game-that-you-remember-after-n ot-playing-in-a-long-time weird?"

"A bit like that, yea."

"Huh."

Nothing was said for a while after that. That is, until Lauahi tried to revive the conversation.

"I know that this is a weird question, but, have you guys ever thought about what kids do after they leave the arcade?"

"We don't think about it because we know about it," Ralph said matter-of-factly. "Over the years we've heard snippets of 'school' and 'offices' and 'book reports'. It doesn't paint an exciting picture."

"You've only heard about it, Ralph," Vanellope rebutted. "Can you imagine all sorts of cool things they got out there? Today, I saw a kid pull out a computer screen the size of his chest and use it without a keyboard!"

"It's called an 'eye-pad', and you don't want to know how people get it."

Lauahi's eyes were wide. "Yes I do. They probably don't have jobs assigned to them like in the arcade. They could do whatever they want!"

Ralph shook his head. "Not once have I heard a kid talk about _going_ to work. It's always what they want to be when they 'grow up'. Some of the kids that played my game thirty years ago? Came back with kids of their own. And they're not policemen or doctors like they've said when they were younger. They're all 'office clerks' and 'cashiers', all boring, lifeless sounding jobs. Our jobs _are_ assigned, Fluffy, but being able to 'pick whatever job you want' probably ain't as easy as you think it is."

Lauahi just looked at him with an expression, one that had disappointment mixed with thoughtfulness.

"Hey, I see something!" Vanellope alerted.

She glitched away, forcing the others to follow. The two sped off in her direction, brushing past fewer and fewer trees. Once the search party got past the last trees, a spaceous field of lollipops consumed their collective vision. In the center stood Vanellope, who faced two low figures in the distance.

She then faced her party. "What are you fart-knockers waiting for? Let's go!"

Vanellope, Ralph, and Lauahi all kept running. Of course, Vanellope was the first to get a good look. Both of the now found carts sat there parallel to each other, perfectly fine. The lollipops both under them and around them were plucked and arranged in a big, neat circle. Not only did the candy parts face the carts, but they were glued together by pink icing, as if they were stone tiles or brick.

"Hang on, Vanellope," Ralph ordered. "This has 'suspicious' written all over it."

"You think those lollipops are covering up a trap?" Vanellope questioned.

"Exactly."

Vanellope hopped into 'the forbidden zone' anyway. "I got it."

Vanellope's move disturbed the lollipop cover. The carts, for whatever reason, didn't move. It was Vanellope, and the covering around her, that fell. Fortunately, she was caught in a tangle of Twizzlers. When she looked around, she saw that the ropes had supported the covering, and, from the intact portion, that it was originally in a lattice pattern. She remained calm and explored even more, spotting a familiar message splattered on the pit's wall in red frosting. The confident gleam in her eyes vanished as her pupils shrank.

"Turbotastic."

"What does that mean?" Lauahi concernedly asked.

"Turbo set this up!" Ralph pointed out as he grabbed at some of the vines and made them twitch. "Snap out of it, Vanellope!"

Vanellope did so, teleporting out of the web, back to her companions. The part of the patchwork where Vanellope was stuck in remained in a loose knot, and the rest formed something of a checkered net around it.

"Well that's one mystery solved." After dusting herself down, she hopped onto Ralph's shoulder. "You know the drill."

"Wait!" Lauahi halted with her hand held out.

"What is it?" Ralph asked.

She pointed below the pedestal. "See how those carts are supported?"

The top of the butte held the cars up just fine, but as the team all looked down, they saw how the platform grew thinner and thinner until it could barely support whatever was above it.

"Fluffy," Ralph addressed, "you saw her glitch right outta that trap. We'll be fine."

Lauahi retired, and Vanellope sent Ralph and herself over. Just one step was enough to cause the thin section of the stand to snap, but Ralph was quick enough to grab the carts. As the top of the formation slid off and the ropes snapped, Vanellope clinged to Ralph, who in turn gripped on the carts, and teleported them all to the other ledge.

"See?" Vanellope piped as she leaped off Ralph.

_Crack._

A crack formed around Ralph, who was still holding the carts. He jumped, but the force of the jump sent the chunk down, causing Ralph to nearly trip as he got up.

_Snp crip crip crip. _

_Snap._

Even more cracks appeared, and Ralph immediately let go of the cars as they all fell along with the chunks. Vanellope lunged for Ralph, but all Lauahi could do was watch from the edge. It took no time at all for the child to retrieve her friend, but the carts weren't saved. In fact, Vanellope was about to get them when the ground both around them and _behind_ them began chipping. Alarmed, they all ran off to more stable ground, leaving the carts behind. Most of the cliff collapsed, leaving it thirty-five feet shorter than it was. Once they were sure that nothing would fall or break, Vanellope got back on Ralph's shoulder and Lauahi grabbed Ralph's left wrist.

"I'm coming with you," she said.

"Alright," Ralph allowed, "just get the boxes first."

Lauahi obeyed, and as soon as the team got close to the new edge, they could see a much, much larger message in red frosting.

"GLITCH AND WARTHOG," it read, "I HOPE YOU REMEMBER ME, BECAUSE I REMEMBER YOU."

The message was curved around the center, and nearly filled out the entire pit. The letters were so big that the debris only covered a tiny fraction of it. The former top of the pedestal covered the 'A' in 'warthog', but it was angled just so that it _was_ the 'A'.

"Turbo sure has a lot of time on his hands, doesn't he?" Ralph commented.

"Yea, really," Vanellope scoffed.

"So, why did he do all this again?" asked Lauahi.

"To scare us," Vanellope answered. "I have control now, so this is the most he can do."

"I have no idea what Twerptastic thinks he's doing..." Ralph admitted. "Let's just, grab the carts and get out of here."

And so Vanellope went into the pit, taking her team with her. Ralph nonchalantly tossed the debris around until he found Minty's shattered cart and Jubileena's broken one. Both were quickly scooped up and dumped into the boxes by him.

And then there was a familiar squeaking.

"Is that what I think it is?" he uttered as they all looked around.

"Yep," Vanellope irriably confirmed. "Look." She pointed at the foot of the carts' former base.

Three baby cybugs crawled on the rubble, straight towards the team. Synchronically, each of the larvae focused on a respective intruder, and pounced. Ralph smashed it, Lauahi slapped it away, and Vanellope dodged. Ralph's bug was killed instantly as the other two grew slightly bigger. Lauahi breathed fire at the bugs, but both of them flew off. They then lunged at Vanellope, who glitched to Ralph. Ralph wildly swung his fists at his enemies without hitting either of them. Lauahi picked up a piece of debris and threw it at the wall, which lured the bugs to her. She tried breathing fire at the cybugs again, and hit one dead on. This killed the second, but it was close enough to the third to actually allow it to _eat the flame_. It took its adult size instantly, and started to spit fire at her. Lauahi ran through the fire to punch the adult cybug, but she was beaten to it. Vanellope glitched Ralph to the air above the bug, and he crushed it under his anvil-like fists. When it faded, Lauahi fell on her knees as Vanellope moved Ralph around.

"In case you're wondering, those were cybugs," Ralph hollered. "They're from Hero's Duty, and they're really dangerous. That's all you need to know."

Vanellope went back to Lauahi and the boxes, taking Ralph with her. "That's not _all_ you need to know." She motioned the two to take a box. "They eat and destroy all the time, like you and Ralph." She paused, absorbing the impatient looks. "No offense."

It took Ralph less time to shrug the comment off, but both got a box and were taken back up in a heartbeat.

* * *

Five hours after the bet was made, four of the five citizens of Sugar Rush were laying down on whatever they could find. The fifth patiently waited in her cart, her focus on the road fifty feet away.

"Can we go make our carts, now?" Jubileena groggily begged.

Taffyta kept her eyes on the road. "Not for another hour."

"It's been five," Candlehead said.

"And we agreed that they had six."

"Come on, Taffyta," Minty complained as she sat up. "We all know how big Sugar Rush is. This a _pointless_ bet."

"Au contraire. Vanellope may be President, but have you ever seen her do anything remotely... presidential?"

"Yes. She had Diet Cola Mountain rebuilt and held several meetings, including one with those Fix-It guys. That has to count for something."

Taffyta finally turned around. "Who _cares_ about Diet Cola Mountain!? Who _cares_ about those Fix-It coots!? What about us!?"

"'Us', the same people that bullied her for nine years?"

"Yea, exact-" Taffyta stopped there and left her mouth open, her pointer in the air.

Minty simply crossed her arms and glared.

On the same road that Taffyta was so fixed on, Vanellope drove in. Not only was her cart lugging around Lauahi and Ralph, but it was tugging both of the fixed carts, which were tied to her bumper with the same Twizzler ropes that made up the trap. This created an odd image, but everyone was still amazed except Taffyta, who stayed rather quiet as the ruler pulled up.

"Well," Vanellope introduced, "here you go-"

"Here's your carts, Taffyta," Ralph flaunted. "Who's stupid now?"

"Ralph, enough," Vanellope snapped.

Taffyta said nothing, but Jubileena screamed and jabbed her finger at Lauahi, who hid behind Vanellope's cart. "Oh no! Are you gonna eat us?"

Lauahi sounded more upset than scared when she answered "No..."

Minty got off of her spot. "Let me guess. Turbo took the carts."

"Yup," Vanellope confirmed. She untied the ropes, and Lauahi gently pushed her cart away. "Here you go."

"Thanks a bunch."

"Neat!" Jubileena squealed. "You're not so mean and scary after all, Ralph and..." She put her finger on her lip. "And..."

Lauahi quickly consumed one of the ropes. "Lauahi."

"Right!"

The other two finders came up to Taffyta, who, up close, had a pensive frown.

"Go on," Ralph urged, "say it."

"Don't push it, Ralph," Vanellope scolded.

"You're not stupid," Taffyta said calm and clear, "I just... have a lot to think about."

"Hold on, that's it?" Ralph checked. "No sighs, no complaints, no anything?"

Taffyta didn't say yes or no. She just started her cart, backed up a little, and drove off, on the same road that she was fixed on, to who-knows-where.

* * *

_**"He aha k**__**āna?**__**" means "What's that?"**_

_**"He nehiwa ʻoe be hōʻike aʻu me?" means "Are you testing me with a secret language?"**_


	15. Student's Duty

**Chapter 14**

**Student's Duty**

The next day, on Game Central's side of the Sugar Rush port, Ralph stumbled out of Sugar Rush's bullet train. He shook some candy dust off of himself and lumbered to the rest of the arcade. He then went in the direction of Tapper's, and not much was going on. That is, until Calhoun and Felix caught him between Burger Time and Tron.

"Ralph," Calhoun addressed.

"Yea?"

"Vanellope told us about your little run-in earlier. I think it's time that we teach you how to actually deal with cybugs."

"Nah, it's easy. You just hit them once and that's it."

Calhoun tried to get closer to Ralph, but Felix grabbed her hand. "Do you know how the eggs hatch? Or why? Or what they can and can't eat?"

"No."

She pulled herself back. "Exactly. We're gonna do some training today, and I want you to join us."

He sighed. "Okay, I'll go."

Calhoun and Felix began to walk away. "In an hour, meet Felix at our side of the tracks."

Ralph did the same and resumed his stroll. Halfway through his stroll to Tapper's, he froze. What if Lauahi came with him? Ralph looked back on their last session with embarrassment, as she crumbled too quickly for his liking. Yes, she passed but she went back to eating less than a minute later. She was clearly trying, but she needed a push, and this exercise thing was perfect. And so he turned around and headed for his old port.

Knowing that he had some time, Ralph paced himself as he paddled his boat across the ocean. When he arrived at the beach, he made a hole in the sand so that the canoe wouldn't drift off. Once Ralph's canoe was perfectly set, Ralph went over to Lauahi's shack. When he did, he saw Boris sitting on the porch, obsessively counting and examining his money. Ralph ignored this and knocked on Lauahi's door. Not a sound was heard, so Ralph pressed his ear against the door to see if anyone was there.

"Lauahi?" He moved away from the door and knocked again.

Still nothing.

"Guh." He knocked one more time, and dented her door in the process.

Seeing that Lauahi wasn't home, Ralph considered asking Boris where she was. Ralph looked at the little guy, who was examining each and every dollar. He held the money up in the sunlight, over his eyes, one at a time. Instead of bothering Boris, Ralph just walked past the hotel, towards the rest of the game. Even though Ralph made little sound, Boris peered over his money, and saw him anyway.

"Lemme guess," Boris shouted, "you're looking for her."

Ralph went up to him. "Yea."

"What for?"

"To train in Hero's Duty."

Boris got up. "Oh-kay," he said sarcastically.

Ralph sighed and wiped his hand down his face. "Look, I know that you hate Lauahi, but she's not a bad person."

"When she's fed."

Ralph's head cocked to the side. "What do you mean?"

The smaller character's mouth was still, but his mind was very active. Boris could remember each and every time that Lauahi took him and his children and ran off, as they all went the same way.

_Knock knock._

_All together, Boris and the children opened the door and saw a fat fox in a strained mailman's uniform. None of them saw a package of any kind, but Boris saw that the mail carrier's hands were behind her back._

_"Package for uh..." The carrier pulled out a flash card from her pocket. "Uh..."_

_"Boris," the boar said._

_"No, Mama!" the jerky squeaked._

_As the children jumped up and down going 'Mama, Mama, Mama', Boris noticed that the mailwoman was drooling. He tried to wrap the kids up in his arms, but they were all scooped up in a big, pale pillowcase. They feebly struggled, unable to even make a tear in the bag. Boris tried to tackle her, but he was punted to the shack. Helen appeared from behind the shack, and the carrier took off, but not without both Boris and Helen following. When Boris was across the door, he suddenly stopped, and went off the shoreline and into the water._

"Have you seen her go for long without food?" Boris asked.

"Yea. She was all jumpy and twitchy."

"Well, that's only the first part."

"First part?"

_Boris slowly pedaled the massive contraption, carrying the screen as he stayed in sync with Helen's movement. She'd saved four out of nine kids, and was almost halfway through the game. However, she was still at the beach, narrowly dodging raining coconuts. Helen dodged the final one, and it exploded behind her. She was propelled up to the top of a palm tree. There, Lauahi sat with her sack and the bacon strip, as she was just about to eat it._

_"Mommy!" it gladly piped._

_Muffled cries of 'Mommy, Mommy', seeped through the bag. At that moment, Lauahi began to glow yellow and glared at Helen._

_"Gahhh, you've been chasing me for ten minutes already. What do you want?" Lauahi lashed out._

_"My kids back."_

_Lauahi's response was to drop the strip and shoot a gush of fire at Helen. Helen jumped up, caught the strip, and landed on the ground. Her enemy growled, taking off with the others._

"The first," Boris repeated. "After that, she slowly loses it."

_When Helen nabbed the seventh kid from Lauahi, the latter darkened from yellow to orange._

_"What are you doing?" Lauahi asked. "Go away!"_

_At the ninth, she turned red and began stomping around like a four-year-old._

_"THIS IS ALL I HAVE, GET LOST!"_

"How?" Ralph asked.

_The metal mover was at the end of its path. A mile or so away was a pier at nighttime, complete with a firepit and an idle spit. Boris got ready to slide off, but the seat grabbed him and pulled him in the contraption. He was quickly forced through all sorts of tubes and tunnels. At the end of the ordeal, he was dropped in between both pegs, tied up with an apple in his mouth. _

"Simple. The longer she goes, the angrier she gets."

_On the left side of the pier, Helen slowly came into view. She immediately noticed Boris and went over to untie him when both heard a great __**thump**__. Helen looked over Boris and saw Lauahi, who was literally red with rage. Helen could see clouds of smoke coming up where the edges of Lauahi's feet touched the pier's wood._

_"Oh no," Lauahi fumed. "I've been running around __all day__, and it's high time that I've had something to __**eat**__."_

_Helen determinedly left her hands on Boris's ropes. "But what you're having is my frie-"_

_"__**SHUT UUUUP!**__" She jumped up and down, spewing flames everywhere. "__**SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP **__**SHUT**__**. **__**UP**__**!**__"_

_One last, powerful blast to the right of the spit forced Helen from her trapped friend._

"Pfff, nah." Ralph swiped downwards once.

"Don't believe me?" Boris asked Ralph that question a little more 'strongly' than anticipated.

"When people starve, they don't get mad, they become listless."

"Not her. Just watch her, Sasquatch. Just. Watch."

Boris stomped his short way to the hotel's door in a huff, making a point to slam the door after he went inside. Ralph decided to take one last look beyond, as he thought it pointless to scan the beach and thought it stupid to scan the jungle behind it. He got off the stoop and went back to his boat, not wanting to be close to the hotel any more than he had to. When he was close to his canoe, Lauahi emerged from the forest. She was devouring a starfruit as if she was starving.

He spotted her. "Fluffy! Come here!"

"Hmm?" She came to him, but as she did, she was more focused on her empty hands than him. Her eyes darted around both her hands and her arms noticeably.

"I have another job for you to do."

Lauahi gave him a nervous frown as her hands shook. "Not now, Ralph."

"Yes now. We're gonna train in Hero's Duty."

"What? How?"

"I don't really know honestly, but the point is that it's training."

She started to back away. "And get harassed by cybugs and Calhoun? No thanks!"

"Wait, how'd you know-"

"Helen told me. Besides." She turned around and tried to scurry away. "I need to eat something."

"Now."

Lauahi hit the brakes and slouched over. "I know what you're gonna say. I feel terrible, Ralph."

"I'm gonna say it anyway. This thing's harder than standing in a field, but it's something. Besides, you have to push yourself."

She faced him again. "Do I?"

"Unless you want to feel terrible every half an hour, yea."

Lauahi wordlessly nodded and got into Ralph's canoe. She was still wringing her hands and even biting them occasionally, but she stayed compliant. There weren't any problems throughout the boat ride and even when they exited her game. However, when they walked by Sugar Rush, Lauahi made a break for it. Ralph managed to get her by the tail, and as a result Lauahi fell on her stomach.

"Nuh-uh," he denied.

Lauahi would've been begging him hadn't her voice been so muted, so panicked. "Come on, Ralph, I have to eat." She kept clawing at the beige floor.

Ralph was stronger, of course. "No, you don't."

He began to drag her with him, with her leaving faint clawmarks on the tile as they went. Ralph caught glimpses of people watching, but they were ignored. Quickly, Ralph took Lauahi into the Hero's Duty port and onto its metallic subway train. As soon as Ralph let go, Lauahi flung herself at the door, which slammed shut halfway through her stunt. She hit it, slid down the door, and lied on the floor motionless until the train reached its other destination.

The first thing they saw on the other side was a group of ten soldiers stoically waiting for them a few feet from the tracks. The troop had arranged itself in a box that was three soldiers wide, and four soldiers long. Neither Ralph nor Lauahi could see what they were huddled around.

"Ralph?" they heard Felix ask.

"Hey, Felix," Ralph calmly greeted.

Upon Felix saying the words 'excuse me', the box opened immediately. He moved outside the box and folded his hands. "I see that your friend wants to join us."

Lauahi didn't reply at all, sulking a little bit instead.

Felix's upper body fell back slightly as his hands released each other. "Are you sure you're up for it?"

"It was actually my idea," Ralph admitted. He placed his hand of Lauahi's shoulder and faced her. "Come on, it won't be that bad."

She grunted acceptingly, and rubbed the part of her face that'd hit the sliding door.

Just then, the box split into two lines, revealing Calhoun. She walked far enough to be beside her husband. "Now, I see that we're all he-" She emotionlessly stared at Lauahi, whose ears pulled themselves back. "What is she doing here, Ralph?"

Lauahi's head jerked towards Ralph. "This was _your_ idea?"

"I was thinking that it could help her, you know?"

Calhoun just glared daggers at him. "I invited you and Felix, no one else! Besides, she'd only slow us down."

"She won't slow anybody down, alright? And if she does, then she won't come back. Promise?"

"She better not. This a military training session, not a dog-and-pony show."

Upon seeing Lauahi's less-than-pleased look, Calhoun sharply exhaled through her nose and moved on. She waved her right hand towards the soldiers, who went deeper into the game. She then jerked her head towards them and followed.

Felix went in between Lauahi and Ralph. "You two came here on a good day. It's just going to be a few exercises, some time at the mess hall, some more exercises, and a class on cybugs."

Ralph let out a relieved sigh. "I honestly thought that she was gonna work us to death."

And so the lagging civilians followed the corp, and they ended up in what appeared to be a more open interrogation room. Both the walls and the floor were made up of huge, dark gray blocks with little in between. A couple of long, thin lights gave out enough light to make a few steel barbells known. The soldiers stood in a neat line parallel to the door they came through, facing away from it. Ralph could see Calhoun's pale hair between Markowski's shoulders and those of a nameless soldier.

When the trio entered, Calhoun waved her hand left and then right, and the line split into two. The gaps were filled quickly in the order of Ralph, Lauahi, and Felix from left to right. Calhoun just glared at them as if the entire room had talked about her behind her back.

"Markowski," Calhoun barked. "The uniforms."

Markowski ran off and arrived with three uniforms: a regular one, one that looked like a larger version of Calhoun's, and another that was a third the normal size. He plopped them in front of the newcomers and returned to his spot.

"Now, put on those uniforms."

The three of them obeyed, making the start of training session official.

The very first part of the workout was some basic streches. Everyone performed the quad stretches, the hamstring streches, and the arm streches with no problems. Then, they did fifty jumping jacks, which was slightly problematic for Lauahi and pretty problematic for Felix. Lauahi couldn't move as much as she wanted to, but the uniform was relatively light. Felix, on the other hand, felt like he was jumping up and down with watermelons strapped to him. Watermelons that moved two seconds after he did.

Synchronically, the entire corp got on their hands and feet, holding the rest of their bodies up with both. Ralph was the first to follow suit, Lauahi the second, and Felix the third. Whereas Ralph rolled his eyes at what he knew he was going to do next, Felix's arms quivered under the weight of the uniform. Upon Calhoun's command to start, Felix slowly let his body down. He could barely keep his arms from collapsing as he forced it up again. Meanwhile, Lauahi kept up with them, but when Ralph saw her face, he saw her teeth clench irritably.

Ralph cared little about keeping up. He did ten push-ups whereas the soldiers did five. After that, he did ten with his left arm behind his back. The next ten was done on his left pointer. He even heard a soldier grumble 'show off'.

"What was that, Smith?" Calhoun barked.

The same soldier barked "Ralph is showing improper form, ma'am!"

It was too late for Ralph to slow down, as Calhoun was already in front of him. "He's not the only one..." She lifted Felix, who was lying flat on the ground. When she let go, he landed on his feet, but slouched over. Calhoun leaned in on him. "Do you want to sit out?"

"No," Felix whispered. "I'm fine."

Calhoun nodded and went back to her spot in front of the squadron. As she lied down with her knees up, facing away from the squad, and held her head, the rest did the same.

"Ready? One!"

Everyone sat up without moving their legs. "One!"

"Two!"

They did it again. "Two!"

After ten sit ups, poor Felix couldn't do anymore. He squirmed, trying to get up, but he was too weighed down to even make an inch of progress. Felix lied on the floor with his hands still under his head, waiting for the next step. Lauahi and Ralph were able to keep up, but the former couldn't do them all the way. Her stomach blocked her chest whenever she tried to get up, which made her more annoyed than she already was. Ralph matched the squad's movements fine, but when he looked to his right, noticed that Lauahi's face was glowing yellow.

After fifty sit ups, the exercise was over. Calhoun got up and, after a few seconds, almost ran to Felix. She pulled him up and examined him.

"Wake up, Felix."

"Hmm..." His eyes slowly opened.

She faced everyone else. "This workout's over, for now." Lauahi sighed out of relief, which Calhoun ignored. "All of you, get into double file."

Everyone obeyed, and they proceeded to the mess hall. It was just as dark as the rest of Hero's Duty, but was more metallic than the exercise room. A tray holder and a single, giant tube hung right next to the door. Ten feet away were five stainless steel cafeteria tables, which were lined up in a row. Everyone lined up, picked up a tray, got their food (which was a type of gray gruel) and sat down. While Ralph and Lauahi went to sit with Kohut and Markowski, Felix and Calhoun sat with two other soldiers.

Ralph sniffed his food and recoiled. "I've never smelled anything this bad, and I've been eating garbage for thirty years! " He shoved the tray over to Lauahi, who eagerly accepted it.

"We're not fond of it either, but you know Sarge," Kohut told him. "She wants us to be in perfect shape."

"Right."

"Grrr, that's not enough!" Lauahi dropped one of her empty trays and held her head, which was glowing orange. "I have to get out of here!"

"I don't think that she'd let you," Kohut doubted.

She took her tray and went back to the dispenser, only to find that it wouldn't produce anything. She then hit it, attracting Calhoun's attention. Kohut simply went back to eating as Ralph watched.

"Come here," Calhoun called darkly.

Lauahi went over. "What is it?" she growled.

"Is there a problem?"

"Yes. I feel awful and I have to leave."

"No."

Lauahi laid her hands on the table. "Why not!?"

"You chose to come here, so you will stay here until the session is over and **that's it.**"

Felix nudged Calhoun's arm. "Honey, look at her face. I don't think she's well."

However, Calhoun's focus was locked on Lauahi. "You're not backing out. Ralph brought you here for a reason, and whatever that is, you should honor it."

"Oh, come on! You stopped the last exercise because it was too much for Felix!"

"I did. And unless you're passing out, I'm not stopping for you."

"You don't have to be passing out to feel-" Felix weakly pointed out.

Lauahi slammed her fists on the table repeatedly. "Nonsense! You can't stop an exercise for one guy and then turn around and say that no one can leave!"

Ralph got up, and so did Calhoun. "Except Felix _wasn't_ feeling good, and you're just trying to get out of a hard day's work so you can eat!"

Both women pressed their foreheads together, forcing each other back and forth. "Just to eat? Really? What makes you think I'm not starving!?"

"You bad guys would do _anything_ if it meant that you'd get what you want."

"Oh yea!? Say that to Ra-"

Ralph grabbed both of their faces and pulled them apart. "That's enough!"

They instantly shut up until Calhoun began chuckling. "Ladies, lunch break's over. It's time for a _demonstration_." She slipped out of Ralph's grasp. "Everyone, back to the small gym! MARCH!"

The soldiers arose and climbed out of the tables, but Ralph and Lauahi remained still. Both of them knew what Calhoun wanted to 'demonstrate', and they didn't know how she was going to do it. Lauahi waited until most of the soldiers were gone to hold her head.

"Are you crying?" Ralph whispered.

"I'm frustrated..."

"Don't be. I have a plan, just play along."

Nobody said a word as they left the cafeteria. Not only was the duo the last to leave, but they were the last to enter the gym. The soldiers weren't in a single line like they were last time. They were in two small clumps, leaving the center of the room just for Calhoun.

"Lauahi," Calhoun called for.

Lauahi looked back at Ralph, who gave her a confident nod. She walked to over where Calhoun was, and the latter pointed at the floor.

"Give me twenty," Calhoun ordered.

Lauahi got on her hands and feet, but didn't start doing push ups, yet. At the far sides of the room, she heard footsteps as well as metal scraping against stone. She waited another five seconds, and started.

One...

Calhoun criticised her immediately. "Not far enough."

One...

At the start of her second push up, Lauahi felt a weight drop on her back. She looked up at Calhoun.

"That's a five pound weight. Keep going," she commanded.

Three...

During her fourth push up, an even heavier weight was added.

"Ten pounds."

Five...

At her sixth, her arms shook a little.

"Fifteen."

Seven...

"Not far enough."

Seven...

"Not. Far. Enough."

Seven...

A twenty pound weight was plopped onto her back. Her arms could barely hold everything up. And yet, she tried.

Eig-

Her upper body fell and landed on her arms. Some of the weights slipped off, but those that were still there pressed on her back. The weights were quickly removed, allowing her to roll over and see what the weights actually were. They looked like black tube socks, evenly filled with some kind of substance. Lauahi sat up and finally found out where Ralph was. He was closer to her than before, but he was being restrained by two of the soldiers.

Calhoun kneeled down and offered her hand. "Now do you understand?"

Lauahi accepted, but her face wore a confused blankness.

"Felix had to workout with even more of that weight on him. If he could try to get through these exercises without complaining, so can you."

Lauahi kept her blank stare and slowly nodded.

As Calhoun faced her squad members, two of them let Ralph go. "Now that that's over with, time for a little lesson on cybugs."

Once more, most people left the room barring Lauahi and Ralph. Lauahi stared at the door and glowed red.

Ralph held his arm. "I'm sorry, Lauahi... I thought that-"

"Don't be. I have a plan this time."

And so, for the final time, the exercise room was emptied. Right next to it was some kind of classroom fit for a college. It was noticeably brighter than the other rooms, having sterile white walls. There were six rows of mahogany benches, as there was a pathway between each row. A glass display with five live cybugs was embedded in the wall on the other side of the room. Everyone took a seat, and class was in session.

"Now," Calhoun began, "while cybugs multiply very quickly, some conditions allow them to do it better than others..."

Ralph sat to the left of Lauahi, who nervously (and hungerly) gnawed at her hand. Markowski, who was right next to her, manned his rifle. He quivered as if there was nothing between him and the viruses, but kept it out of Calhoun's vision. Lauahi silently got closer to Markowski and made sure that Calhoun wasn't paying attention.

"Cybugs are attacking," she told him softly.

"BUGS!"

Markowski shot up and fired at the protected cybugs. While he didn't hurt any of them, the glass shattered. The cybugs forced their bodies against the glass and broke it, pouring through the hole they made. The other soldiers pulled out their guns, but Lauahi took off her gloves and ran towards them. When she was six feet away from them, she unleashed a powerful gush of fire that was twice as big as the ones she normally breathes, taking out three of them. Calhoun ran a few feet from the blaze, and fired whereas no one else did. The sergeant aimed at the one farthest to the right, and Lauahi punched it in the face, killing it. Calhoun aimed at the one a little to the left, but Lauahi torched that one, too. The final one lunged at Calhoun...

And Lauahi got in front of her and gave it an uppercut. Calhoun glared at her with increasing intensity, and Lauahi didn't move. The fires triggered General Hologram's booming voice.

"Fire in Section E.X.-B 4228. Extinguishing."

And so the sprinklers were activated. The fires went down without a problem, but the water didn't cool down Lauahi at all. In fact, the drops on her face and hands turned into steam, creating faint hisses as they evaporated. Lauahi simply turned around and glared straight at Calhoun, who marched towards her.

"I passed," Lauahi fumed. "Can I go now?"

Calhoun's answer was a punch right in the left cheek, which quickly knocked Lauahi to the ground. "Not after that..." She felt a burn on her knuckles, and examined her hand immediately. "...tantrum."

Just a second after she looked away from her hand, Calhoun was punched in her right cheek by Lauahi, giving Calhoun a turn to get knocked down. Some jaws dropped, including those of the soldiers, but Ralph and Felix were even more taken aback. Everyone but the two fighters gasped at the fact that _Sarge got decked_. By some newcomer nonetheless!

Slowly, Sarge sat up, and put her right hand over her now burnt cheek. Her eyes were wide with bewilderment, but her lips were twisted into the nasty snarl that used to be reserved just for Markowski. When she got up, her head seemed to jut at Lauahi like a spearhead as her fists clenched themselves tightly.

"How dare you." Calhoun's low growl soon became a roar. "In my game-"

"Oh, so it's not okay when _you're_ the one getting hit?!"

Calhoun's voice calmed down as she replied, "I do it to discipline my corp."

"Do I look like one of your jarheads to you?" Lauahi gestured across her body with both hands, but it was so rapid that it looked like she was flapping them.

"No. You look like a fat, undisiplined, ungrateful **brat**. Nobody had to bring you here, none of us! But Ralph did, and it's an insult not only to him or even to me, but to _yourself_ that you've been acting like this!"

Lauahi didn't say anything, but shook furiously as flames seeped through the gaps in her teeth. At the same time, the two wordlessly lunged at each other. Ralph nabbed Calhoun's wrists at the same time that Kohut caught Lauahi by her shoulders. Both women began yelling at each other simultaneously, neither one of them caring that the other was talking.

Remembering the last time she tried to get out of Ralph's grip, Calhoun mostly remained in place. Like any good drill sergeant would, she rigidly stayed put and let her words do the talking. "See what I mean? You say that you want to change, and you pull this. What's more important: shoving more food down your greedy throat, or working hard at improving yourself? You are the very _antithesis_ of what this corp stands for; and if you had any respect for _anyone_, you'd shut up and work with us!"

In contrast, Lauahi was much more animated. Nasty flames escaped from her mouth as she struggled and pantomimed with her words. She furiously thrashed her arms about. She thrusted her head back and forth. She even tried to overpower Kohut's arms by running towards Calhoun with her arms out.

"Don't you _dare_ act all high and mighty, after all you've done! _**I'm **__**starving**__** to death! **_You can't just keep me here for no reason! Seriously, I told you time and time again that I _need_ to leave! I have to! I feel terrible, like I'm gonna die so just LET ME GO LET ME GO I HATE YOU LET ME GO IF YOU CAN'T FOR WHATEVER REASON JUST FEED ME IF NOT LET ME GO."

Felix was frozen until he heard the words 'I'm starving to death'. His face then wore a grimace that had a mix of pain, determination, and anger. He mustered all of his courage to shout something he'd never thought he'd say.

"ENOUGH!"

And then all was silent, even Lauahi and Calhoun. All eyes were on Felix, but he didn't care. It took only one step for the crowd to part like the Red Sea.

"Felix..." Calhoun trailed off.

Felix marched to Calhoun's side and looked her in the eye with his arms crossed. "Calhoun, this has gone on long enough."

"But Felix-"

"No. This has gone on for too long. Let her go."

She shortly exhaled, and motioned for Kohut to release Lauahi, who landed on her feet. Lauahi then brushed off her right shoulder, roughly took off the rest of the armor, and strode foward. She went past Felix while facing the door.

"And Lauahi," Felix sternly said as she passed, "I hope you're proud of yourself."

Lauahi faced him as he said so, but didn't say a word as she left the room.


	16. Sweet, Sappy Bait

**Chapter 15**

**Sweet, Sappy Bait**

"What just happened?" Ralph questioned as he got down to where Calhoun and Felix were.

"What do you mean 'what just happened'?" Calhoun snapped. "You were here the entire time!"

"First Lauahi was all glowy and then she just-" He froze, eyes focused on nothing. "This was my fault. I was _warned _about this."

"You were what!?" Felix exclaimed.

"Boris told me that the longer she goes without food, the angrier she gets," Ralph admitted as he laid his hand on his face. "I thought he was exaggerating..."

Calhoun came dangerously close to Ralph's face. "And you thought so, **why**-"

Her hand was promptly grabbed by Felix, who tugged it towards himself. "Stop that. That's part of the reason why you two fought in the first place."

Some of the soldiers snickered, but they were ignored.

"So," Ralph began as he took his hand off, "what do we do now?"

"I know," Calhoun stated as she dislodged her hand. "Hale! Kohut! Find that maggot and tell her that she is **banned** from Hero's Duty!"

"That won't be necessary," Ralph stated with a hint of sorrow. "I'll tell her myself."

* * *

Once Lauahi got off of the metallic train, she ran as fast as her legs could carry her. Her face stricken with panic, she didn't even notice the amount of people watching as she left burning footprints behind. Characters with keener vision could even see tiny flames on her body. However, Lauahi kept facing foward.

Those tiny flames died out when Lauahi set foot in the Sugar Rush port. Rapidly, her fur became grey as she slowed down, panting heavily. She was heavily hunched over when the train pulled into the terminal. Immediately, she nibbled at it. Some of the red glow returned as she ate more and more of the train from the inside. By the time it took her to the game's side of its track, she was red again. Lauahi lunged at the cute little station, gobbling it up without a care what it originally looked like. Up Mount Sourest drove Vanellope, who hit the brakes at the sight and got out of her cart.

"Umm... What's going on, Fatty?" Vanellope's tone wasn't mocking or even teasing, but genuinely curious. "Did Calhoun put you on a crash diet?"

Lauahi silently strode up to her, grabbed the collar of her hoodie, and yanked Vanellope up to her face. "That's. Enough."

Noticing that her hoodie was singeing, Vanellope immediately teleported out of her grasp. "Okay okay. Just, don't eat anything important, will ya?"

"Fine." With her hands up to her shoulders, opened, Lauahi moved in the direction of the cart...

And was bonked on the head by a teleporting Vanellope.

"Hey! I said anything _important_."

Lauahi simply snorted and marched straight to the peak of Mount Sourest, leaving Vanellope to stoically shake the pain out of her hand. There the brute turned to the station, kneeled down and bit into the road. With her teeth still there, she pressed her hands on the hill and then forced herself away from it, sort of like a mountain climber. She did this repeatedly in between times where her mouth got full, which was when she swallowed and dug in again. Vanellope watched it all with her mouth open in bemusement.

When she was at the bottom of the hill, Lauahi ran to her left and took off into the woods. From there, everything was a blur for her. She dug (literally) into the ground. She gnawed at the cone mountains and gulped down whatever chocolate came out of them. She even ate away at a few trees until the wind knocked them over. Whatever Lauahi saw, she devoured.

As she did so, however, she felt better and better. Her fur went from red to orange to yellow. Finally, it went to a pale yellow, to normal. At that point in time she _felt_ normal. Still famished, but normal. She stopped eating, perfectly content.

That is, until she noticed how she got that way.

The sloppy but pretty landscape of Sugar Rush was completely torn apart. The ground had several deep grooves scarring it. One tree, which was too close to Mount Sourest, had torn through the road as it fell. The mountainside close to that had so many holes in it that the crisp surface was barely visible under its rich, oozing innards.

Agasp, Lauahi absorbed all the damage she'd done as her eyes darted around. She covered her mouth with her hand, feeling just how sticky her face was. Daintily, she removed her hand and licked the residue off of her lips as if it tasted like surströmming. She spotted a fallen tree behind her and sat down, leaning against it.

_"You say that you want to change, and you pull this."_

_But I do._

As she sucked the last bits of candy off of her fingers, Lauahi remembered _everything_ that happened back in Hero's Duty. Those times that she disrupted everything, how she used Markowski's illness against Calhoun, that fight... She messed up horribly, didn't she?

_"Nobody had to bring you here, none of us! But Ralph did, and it's an insult not only to him or even to me, but to __yourself __that you've been acting like this!"_

_I'm sorry! Really! _

But sorry couldn't fix that, wouldn't it? Gears turned in Lauahi's head as she tried to come up with a way. Gift baskets would've been cheesy. She couldn't go back and try again, she'd probably been banned from that place. Apologizing upfront would've been ineffective. Ralph probably wouldn't even talk to her anymore, those soldiers would definitely laugh at her, Bad Anon couldn't possibly give her any good advice-

Her thoughts stopped there. Lauahi couldn't come up with anything and felt... stuck. Thinking that she was too stressed out to find a good way, she closed her eyes and tried to rest. A few minutes later, she felt something on her stomach, something about as light as a Sugar Rusher.

Without thinking, she opened her eyes, revealing a pasty, ghost-like face closely examining hers.

Reflexively, she shoved him off, forcing the stranger into the trunk of an upright tree. Surprisingly, he deteriorated into a bunch of red pixels before his body regrouped. While the wrinkly, bald, tiny man was lying on the ground, stunned, Lauahi pressed her body against the log as hard as she could. His yellow, feline eyes flittered as his mouth contorted in a strange shape, displaying crooked teeth. Like a madman, he grabbed at his tattered jumpsuit for reasons unknown to Lauahi. And that wasn't the worst part for her. The worst part was his chalky skin. Although Lauahi's fur was pale, it had a healthy glow to it. This guy, on the other hand, showed no sign of health. His skin served as a kind of frame to a twisted picture. The man looked sick. So very, very sick.

In more ways than one.

Rapidly, the gremlin's eyes stopped darting around as he let go of his jumpsuit. His fingers twitched a bit before he brushed himself down. As he did so, he faced her, wearing this smug, almost proud grin, and flickered red. Lauahi winced when she saw the grin, making a soft but raspy 'ahhhh' sound. The stranger wiped his grin off immediately and put on a smile that would've seemed warm hadn't it been strained at the corners.

"Hello," the man greeted with this goofy voice.

Lauahi loosened up a bit. "Hi."

The gremlin rubbed his scalp. "Sorry to bother you." He revealed his lisp when he said 'sorry'. "But I haven't seen anyone like you around here before."

She slowly, but relievedly detached herself from the log. "That's because I'm not from here."

The midget fooled around with his fingers. "If that's the case, then why _are_ you here?"

"I got hungry..." As she rubbed the right side of her neck, the stranger scanned the place.

The look on his face when he faced her was priceless. "You were _hungry_!?"

"It's not my fault! Well... mostly." She paused, gazing at the ground beside her. "Ralph says that my code isn't stable yet, whatever that means."

Suddenly, the man started staring off into space as his hands twitched like crazy. "Ralph... Do you mean... Wreck-It Ralph?"

"Uhh..."

He ran up to her, flickering repeatedly, and started making a bunch of exaggerated gestures. "Wreck-It Ralph! A bit taller than you, spiky brown hair, bad case of halitosis! Is that him!?"

"Does the guy you're talking about wear a plaid orange shirt under a pair of tattered overalls?" Lauahi pulled on the skin on the left side of her chest.

The man went back to staring like a deer in headlights. Shortly after that he dissolved into this blob of red pixels. It didn't last long, though. It stopped as quickly as it started, and he merely rubbed the top of his head harder than before.

"By the way, what was that?" Lauahi asked as she pointed at him.

He studied his left hand, which flickered a bit. "Oh," he uttered resentfully. "This is my glitch, you see."

Lauahi got up and walked to him. When his hand went back to normal, she put her pointer finger on her lip. "So that's what a glitch is... Why do you do that?"

"I don't know. I've been here for so long that I don't even know who I am. I think I'm a space ranger..."

That was when Lauahi's ears drooped as she looked at the poor guy. "So you've been here by yourself for as long as Ralph has lived?"

"Maybe a bit less than that. I knew him back when the arcade was new. And then something happened and, well, here I am."

"You mean you don't remember what happened?"

"I know that it was something terrible and that my game was destroyed, so I fled to here." He faced away from Lauahi, hiding an amused smirk while caressing his hands. "Maybe it involved someone I _really_ knew before, Vanellope or even Ralph, but that's besides the point. I became too scared, too timid to be with anybody, so I stayed hidden."

Lauahi remained silent. Here's someone who was surrounded by food, but lived in total isolation, frightened, with no idea who he was or why he was even there in the first place. Meanwhile, she'd constantly thwart peoples' attempts to help her just so she could eat.

Wait a minute...

"If that's the case, then why did you come to me?"

The man faced her again, but kept his hands busy. "Because nobody goes to this game. Something must've happened, so what was it?"

Lauahi reached over her right shoulder and scratched her back. "Nothing, really. I was starving so I... came here."

"Even though Vanellope lives here?"

"What?"

He held his hands up, glitching, and made claws with his fingers. "V-V-Vanellope's evil, you know!"

Lauahi just stared at the guy cluelessly.

"I swear! She-she-she has a mutant kart army, and I think that Ralph is the captain!"

She took several steps backwards, showing her palms. "I've _met_ Vanellope. She's nothing like that."

The tiny man's eye twitched before he sighed and put his hands to rest. "That's besides the point. You see... There's another reason why I came to you." He tried to get close to Lauahi, but she kept going back with her hands up.

"Does it have anything to do with Vanellope?"

"No." He stopped, and so did she. "Look, the both of us obviously have problems."

"And?"

"So maybe we could help each other out." He swiped at the side of his scalp, but remained focused on Lauahi.

"That won't work." Lauahi went back to the log and sat down. The stranger followed, but kept off the log. "Ralph tried to help me. It worked at first, but this time I _failed_ him."

He hopped onto the log and sat to her left. "But that's the thing. Maybe you've failed not because it was your fault-"

"But it _was_-"

"But because Ralph doesn't have something I do."

"What's that?"

The man tapped his bald, shiny head. "I don't remember much, but what I do remember is that I'm _smarter_ than he is. And you're obviously pretty brave for coming here."

She shook her head. "Except there's no real danger here-"

He laid his right hand on her arm, and Lauahi's body tightened. The stranger just pointed at her. "Don't be so modest! This would totally work!"

"How?"

The man stood up, still pointing at her. "Simple. We'd meet under that rainbow bridge every other day. If either of us falls apart, we'd stop each other." He opened his pointing hand and offered it. "Deal?"

Lauahi fell back a bit. "Is there a catch?"

The man started to fiddle around with his hands again. "What catch?"

"Do I have to bring you anything or do something when we meet or-"

"None of that. Just meet me under that rainbow bridge tomorrow." Once again, he offered his hand.

Uncertainly, she accepted, and they shook. "If it helps."

He turned around and somewhat rigidly waved her goodbye. "Great! And by the way..."

Lauahi cocked her head to the side. "What?"

Again, he faced her while backing away. "Watch out for Ralph!" He waved an open hand in front of his face, pointed at her, and scurried off.

Lauahi just took a deep breath and exhaled as the man vanished into the forest.

That guy had all sorts of weird vibes coming off of him, Lauahi thought. How his hands were rarely still, his conspiracy theories, the way he just came up to her without her even knowing him in person... Something was up, and Lauahi couldn't put her finger on it. The man said that he couldn't even remember his own name, so how could he remember who Ralph was? Was there a chance that he was lying? Or maybe... Maybe...

Maybe he wasn't lying, and that he genuinely had problems.

It wasn't his fault that he was so neurotic. He told Lauahi that something terrible had happened, forcing him to move to Sugar Rush. So what exactly was it? Did it have something to do with his code? Did Turbo force him out of his own game? What did Turbo even look like?

Whatever it happened, it messed the man up pretty badly. He was obviously aware of how bad his glitch was, but he didn't seem to notice how he came across to Lauahi. Then again, he'd been living in isolation for who knows how long and she was the first person that he'd reached out to in that time. He wanted to change, just like she did, and for that reason she should meet him tomorrow.

* * *

Turbo ran as fast as he could while cleching his teeth, containing giggles. Once he thought that he was far enough from Lauahi, he made a fist and forcefully brought it down.

"Yes!" He accompanied that triumphant cry with howling laughter.

That pig fell for it hook, line, and sinker! If he'd known that it'd eat up that sob story that easily, he would have brought his best fishing pole with him, and used a slice of tuxedo cake as a lure! That would have really _reeled_ it in! Now, all he had to do was groom the thing into doing what he wanted.

But wait, now that he knew how it would interact with him, how should he groom it? Let's see, the bad guy was scared of him, for one, which was hilarious. It didn't buy that story about the glitch nor was it certain about meeting him. However, when he told the thing that sob story it seemed _guilty_, which was curious.

Wait a minute, Chubby fell for the sob story, but it didn't fall for_ everything_, so Turbo'd better be careful. Because it was the only thing that the bad guy believed, that was what Turbo should build on.

Yes, he got it!

Play the part of the amnesiac all the while spinning a web of lies. Then, come out with some nonsense about him being 'the code keeper' or something. When the glutton sneaks him into the code room, spring the trap, and kick it out! It's perfect!

Satisfied, Turbo got going and headed in the sun's direction, towards one of his hideouts. How he missed his helmet... Once he got back what was rightfully his, he'll never let the glitch, the warthog, or _anyone_ take it away!


	17. Domestic Relations

_**Sorry for the delay, my computer had a virus.**_

* * *

**Chapter 16**

**Domestic Relations**

Lauahi peered around from behind one of the thicker trees. Upon seeing that there wasn't anyone around, she made her way up Mount Sourest. As she did, she saw just how much damage she'd caused. Once Lauahi reached the top, she gazed at the view, all slouched over. She moved on and saw the little station, which was completely trashed. Lauahi slowly kneeled down.

Only the rightmost gumdrop seat was still there out of the three that existed before, and even then it was chewed-up. The pink stand was reduced to bits and pieces, some of which were in the bite-sized grooves Lauahi made in the seat. Only the very roots of its vines were still there. Lauahi gently picked up a piece of the roof from the ground, held it delicately between her fingers, and placed it back where it was as she stood back up.

Just then, the train rushed in and screeched to a halt. The door closest to Lauahi opened up to reveal Ralph. The both of them stared at each other, until Ralph stepped out of the train.

"Hey," he greeted softly.

"You don't hate me?"

"I don't, but there's something that I-"

"I'm sorry, Ralph!" With tears pouring out of her eyes, Lauahi threw herself at him.

Ralph caught her, and felt stings on parts of his chest. "Heyheyheyheyhey." He instantly pried her off and held her out.

Lauahi's eyes latched onto his burned-through overalls. "Oh..."

He wiped himself down. "Look, I have to tell you something."

Her pupils shrank. "What's that?"

"You're banned from Hero's Duty."

Lauahi just nodded slowly.

"There's something else, too." He let Lauahi go, and she landed on her feet. "I... was an idiot. I should've listened to you and Boris when he told me about that glowy thing."

"But you had _faith_ in me, and I blew it. No one has ever had that besides Helen."

"So you _were_ listening to Calhoun."

"Sort of. You saw those Bad Anon guys. You saw Boris."

Ralph sighed as his eyes drifted to the right. "We both messed up, didn't we?" He scratched his back.

Lauahi rubbed her left arm and looked down. "Yeah." She faced Ralph again. "How can we fix this?"

He stopped scratching. "You move on."

"What?"

"Let's just say that you've done enough at this point." He took a few steps towards the mouth of the cave, but kept his eyes on her. "Anything you do will just make Calhoun angry."

Lauahi faced the ruined station, gazed at it, and then turned back to Ralph. She took a deep breath-

"No, apologizing to her won't do it," Ralph rejected.

"Okay..." She trudged past Ralph and went up to the train. "But I can stop it from happening again, right?"

He nodded once. "But I wouldn't show up here for the next few days if I were you."

"How often does Calhoun come here?"

"Every night."

Lauahi softly exhaled. "Right."

She got into the train, and waved goodbye to Ralph, who returned the favor. He immediately spotted the ruined station and crossed his arms. While taking the sight in, he made it a point to not face the train again. His focus drifted to the train when it started to zoom away, but then it came back to the demolished display. _The thing looks like it got smashed_, he thought. _What was really she doing here? _

The giant headed to Mount Sourest when the forest to his left seemed emptier than before. He turned to his left and sat on the flat part of the ledge. With his head in his right hand and his feet dangling over the edge, he simply looked at what Vanellope would blame on him.

"Huh," he grunted comprehendingly.

After a little bit of sight-seeing, Ralph remembered what he did to the _entire_ area. Then, he put two-and-two together. He pulverized trees, Fluffy tore up the ground and those cone-mountains. He did it because he lost his home, she did it because she felt deprived. Still, Ralph hadn't forgotten about his former job. Wrecking was wrecking, no matter how or why it was done. Felix was right, they _weren't_ so different.

That didn't stop the whole idea of someone else doing it from being very, very weird.

At least she knew that what she did was wrong, Ralph guessed, which was more than he could say for Calhoun.

_Wrrrrrrrrr..._

It was more than he could say for that Taffyta brat, too. Ralph figured that the cart coming up that way was either her's or Vanellope's.

_RRRRRRRRR..._

Ralph didn't turn to see who was there, but tightened his back up a little. Whether it was Taffyta or Vanellope or even Gloyd, he'd certainly be getting an earful. _Hope Adora-beetle didn't see this._

_RRRRRR-screech-rrrr-putputputput put put._

Suddenly, he felt something materialize on his left shoulder.

"Enjoying Fatty's 'masterpiece', Ralphy-boy?" Ralph heard Vanellope shout.

"Yup. Thought you were gonna blame it on me."

"Pff, nah! I saw her come in here. Told her not to eat anything important."

"Hmm-hm."

"Yea..." Vanellope looked at the 'masterpiece' and then back at Ralph. "You know, the others are busy with this volleyball game. You wanna hang out for a while before they try to invite me?"

"Where?"

"The castle, maybe?"

"Alright."

He picked himself up and eased his way onto Vanellope's cart. She quickly got in, hit the gas, and leaned forward as the two of them were sent rolling down.

"Woah-oh!" Ralph gasped as he clung to Vanellope's seat.

Seemingly at the speed of light, the cart carried the two friends from the bottom of Mount Sourest to the royal raceway to the junkyard. There, Vanellope drifted too close to the crumbly old cart frames. With only a few seconds to prevent a crash, she hit the brakes.

_Screeeeeech!_

**Thump.**

She hit a frame, but mildly enough for Ralph to not get sent flying. Inertia shook the wrecker back and forth, but he recovered quickly.

The little girl turned to her friend completely. "You alright!?"

Ralph rapidly nodded, taking short breaths through his nose.

Calmly, Vanellope backed up...

And her hood was hit by a piece of chocolate from who-knows-where.

"GLOYD!" Vanellope barked.

Both Vanellope and Ralph searched for a sign of an orange hat. While the hat was nowhere to be found, Ralph saw a familiar pink hat vanish behind a truffle.

"Taffyta?" he uttered.

Taffyta skidded down the tiny hill with Rancis, who was clutching onto a volleyball. Candlehead trailed behind them. Adorabeezle and Snowanna slid down a hill on the other side. The five of them converged in a line facing Vanellope's cart a good twenty feet from it.

"I had to get your attention," Taffyta curtly explained. "You seem to be in a hurry."

"I thought you guys were at Sugar Beach Bay!" Vanellope told them.

"We weren't," Rancis said as he spun the ball on his pointer. "We knew that you'd want to take Ralph to the castle."

Candlehead skipped in front of him. "We couldn't find anyone else, so we picked the next best thing!"

Vanellope mildly shook her head. "You guys really want me to do this, huh?"

"My radio's broken," Snowanna confessed in a slightly husky voice. "I've got nothin' else to do."

Taffyta folded her arms. "Just want to get close to our President."

"That makes seven of us," Ralph spoke up. "It's still uneven."

"Don't worry about that," Taffyta purred smugly. "You count as six of us, so you have an advantage. Although you're probably heavier than that..."

The giant forced himself off. "Rahhh! Fine, we'll play!"

"Welp, you guys were gonna ask me anyway," Vanellope pointed out as she hopped out of her seat. "Let's do i-uhh." She scanned the area for a net. "Where are we gonna play?"

"Here," Adorabeezle replied.

Halfway between the president and her citizens, a metal cone peeked out of the ground. The cone worked its way to the surface until it was completely out. When it stopped, the grooves in the cone showed.

"What the?" Ralph muttered.

"Minty, you're late!" Taffyta innocently told her. "Did you bring the net?"

The drill started going again and launched itself into the air, pulling Minty Zaki out with it.

"Yeh," Minty confirmed.

She landed right in front of the hole, and pulled out a tall, tied up volleyball net from what seemed to be absolutely nowhere. The net was tossed into the air before it expanded to its thirty-two feet length and plugged its yellow stands into the soil all by itself. Minty ducked under the net and ran to Rancis, who tossed the ball to Taffyta.

"There's only one rule," Taffyta declared as she caught the ball and lobbed it into the air, "no glitching."

She hit the ball over the net, and the game was on. Reflexively, the line of Sugar Rushers split into two, and the second line took three large steps backwards. Vanellope jumped onto Ralph's shoulder and hit it to Adorabeezle. All the way in the back, she skidded on the ground before she bounced it to Candlehead, who was in the front. Candlehead smacked the ball upwards and spiked it.

Ralph held out his hand where he thought the ball would be. The thing landed right on his palm. He watched the volleyball go back up, and, once it reached it's high point, smacked it to Snowanna. Although she was at the back center, she merely held out her hand to stop the ball. This was effective enough to pass it to the guy in front of her, Rancis. He hit the ball lightly and bounced it on his head, much like a soccer player. Then, he backed up a bit, hit the volleyball high up, and spiked it. Ralph responded by grabbing a prepared Vanellope's hoodie and sliding her to the spot where he thought it'd end up. He was right, and the ball bounced off of Vanellope's clasped hands before Ralph spiked as well.

That time, the landing spot was Taffyta's face.

She was knocked down instantly, the ball bouncing off of her face. As everyone scrambled to her, it bounced a few more times before it finally rolled to Ralph's foot. Surrounded by 'oh my goshs' and 'are you okays', Taffyta slowly got up with her hand over her nose.

"I should've known this would happen..." she growled.

"Sorry..." Ralph apologized meekly.

That didn't stop Taffyta from boring into him with teary, furious eyes. "You should be," she hissed.

"He didn't mean to, Taffyta!" Vanellope defended.

"But he's gonna pay for it anyhow."

"Oh come on, it was an accident!" Ralph snapped. "And you're the one who wanted to do this in the first place!"

"Like you _destroying the castle and killing me _was an accident? Besides, I wanted to do this because I wanted to have a game among us for a change, and you're getting in the way."

"Getting in the way?" Vanellope parroted irritably. "Ralph's not in the way of _anything_, and he lives here now, so he's one of us, too."

"Taffyta, honey," Snowanna cooed. "You can't force someone to be your frien-"

Taffyta got closer to Vanellope. "He'll never be one of us, because he's a bad guy, and that's all he'll ever be!"

Vanellope stood her ground. "Like how _I_ was just a glitch, and that's all _I'll _ever be? Ralph's my friend, my first. Real. Friend. And if you're too _jealous_ to accept that, then you don't deserve to be my friend anyway."

Suddenly, Taffyta removed her hand, revealing a bloody, broken nose and a dark blue bruise around it. "I wanted to get closer to you! To make up for what we did! And if you don't want that, then **fine**!"

Taffyta turned sharply, grabbed onto Candlehead's and Rancis's wrists, and took off.

"Taffyta, wait!" Vanellope called out.

Taffyta rushed past the broken carts and the truffles and into the nearby woods. Not once did she look back, but the others did so several times. Once she was several yards in, she stopped. She nudged her friends back, and they stepped away.

"Guys, I'm coming up with a plan," she told her friends without even facing them.

"What kind of plan?" Rancis questioned nervously.

"I don't know. But what I do know is that we're gonna use Ralph and that fox thing against her."

"Don't," he commanded strongly. "Vanellope's not the kind of leader you want, but she's a kind one, and that's good enough. She helped me win a cup when you just made fun of me."

"And she's suffered enough," Candlehead blurted. "We've been bullying her, and they didn't. Those guys are the first friends she's ever had."

She finally faced them. "Neither of those things have anything to do with the fact that Vanellope cannot lead!"

Something rustled off in the distance. Candlehead turned to it curiously, only to turn back when she saw nothing.

"Kindness has everything to do with being a good leader!" Rancis yelled. "A good leader _cares_ about people, Taffyta. You don't!"

"I missed you, hoo hoo..." a lispy voice purred from afar.

Candlehead gave out a sharp yelp.

"Oh no!" the voice gasped.

"Guys..." Candlehead called.

Taffyta turned towards the source of the sound. "I heard it, too. What was it?"

"It sounded like Turbo!" Candlehead piped. "Let's go get him!"

"Maybe we should just get out of here, instead," Rancis suggested as he pointed away from the source.

Candlehead grabbed Rancis's wrists and darted to the voice. "No way! It probably _is_ that meanie pants Turbo!"

"That's why I said that!"

"Don't you geddit, Rancis?" Candlehead grabbed his collar and leaned in on his face. "Turbo's _our_ bad guy! If we don't catch him, who will?"

"That, and it's time for payback," Taffyta stated as she took off once again. "Let's go!"

They all dashed to where the voice was. After half a minute of running, they found a tent made up of peppermint twigs. Taffyta motioned the others to wait, crept up to the hideaway, and peered inside. There, she found a startled Turbo rubbing his arm against his helmet. Turbo held the helmet out like a steering wheel and charged at Taffyta.

"Beep beep!" Turbo frantically sounded.

Taffyta was knocked away by the helmet, giving Turbo a head start. "Come on, guys!" she commanded.

And so the chase had begun. The three children went after Turbo, who 'steered' the helmet in sync with his turns while going 'vroooooom'. While his pursuers took fairly even steps as they ran, Turbo's legs would often go away from his body. This helped the children keep up with him even though he was moving faster than they were. Because of this, he threw his helmet on and took to the trees. Candlehead climbed up, but her friends remained on the ground, trying to follow.

Once Candlehead was high enough to stand on the lowest branch, she leaped onto higher and higher ones. When she was as high as Turbo, she got cocky and pressed her left foot on the outer, ridiculously thin part of her branch. The girl fell, getting lucky enough to be caught by another, thicker limb, but unlucky enough for Turbo to turn around and see her. He went down to her level and stayed adjacent to a double stripe. While Candlehead was making her way towards him, both Taffyta and Rancis scooped up some frosting and molded balls out of it. Candlehead was on the same branch as Turbo when he hopped on the double stripe. She copied his motion...

And landed on thin air.

After clawing at nothing, Candlehead swiped at a branch that actually existed and got it. She clung to it as Rancis threw his ball. He got Turbo right on the helmet, knocking him down. Unfortunately for him, there was nothing within reach, and he plummeted straight to the goo below. Taffyta sprinted to the swamp, and was already there before he was completely out of it. She tugged the gremlin out and got on top of him, pinning him.

"Gotcha, psycho!" she snapped.

"Well if it isn't Taffyta," Turbo pointed out. His eyes widened in shock, then relaxed as he smiled like a new car salesman. "Is Vanellope bullying _you_, now?"

"She isn't," she stated firmly.

The man took her by surprise by shoving her off of him. Once she was knocked on her back, he took the place she'd taken before, staring down at her. "So you're perfectly happy without me. Would you be so _kind_ as to let me go free?"

"No, but thanks for being predictably crazy enough to ask me that." She wrestled her right arm out of his grasp and clocked him, sending his face into a pixelated frenzy.

The 'pixlexia' spread to Turbo's entire body. He backed off of Taffyta as his face...

Became hers.

As the pixels released Turbo and unveiled his new 'body', the real Taffyta backed away.

"Woah!" Candlehead cried as she and Rancis dashed to them.

Turbo examined his hands as 'his' mouth dropped and his eyes flashed yellow. He sped off into the wilderness, his new appearance fading with his presence. Taffyta's friends helped her up as she focused on where the fallen king was.

"What was that!?" Rancis asked.

"I don't know," Taffyta admitted, "but whatever it was, we shouldn't tell anyone about this."

"Why!?" Candlehead piped. "You know that Vanellope and Ralph want him captured!"

Taffyta brushed herself down and walked in the opposite direction that Turbo ran. "That's why they'd never let it go if we told them."

Rancis and Candlehead took her sides, Rancis to her right, Candlehead to her left.

"Ralph would also never let it go if Turbo locks our memories up again," Rancis rebutted.

"That won't happen. Even if he got to the code room, the combination's been changed. He'd never get in."

From where he was, Turbo's ears caught that tidbit. He crept his way back, not so close that the current racers could see him, but just enough so that he could hear them. "'Stay sweet' and tell me more."

"Not until he gets the combination," Rancis rebutted again.

"Like that'll ever happen..."

As the children argued, Turbo eavesdropped, waiting for more information was revealed to him. After another five minutes of back-and-forth bickering, he snorted impatiently and slunk out of earshot. Once he was at a comfortable distance, he headed northwest, in the direction of the kart bakery.


	18. Can You Pass the Inspection?

**Chapter 17**

**Can You Pass the Inspection?**

"Taffyta, wait!" Vanellope called out.

It was too late. Taffyta had already taken off with both of her friends in tow. Vanellope slumped over and shook her head as she groaned. Adorabeezle came up to her and patted her shoulder comfortingly.

"Please don't get upset," she told her gently. "Taffyta was hurt, even if it was an accident, and she's still not used to the way things are now."

"She'd better get used to it," Ralph grumbled.

"But Ral-"

"That's only part of the problem," Vanellope sighed.

"Exactly," Ralph concurred. "She hates the fact that she's not-"

"That's not what I meant, Ralph."

"Something's up," Minty noted. "Let's go, guys." She started to walk away, and motioned the others to follow.

Adorabeezle, however, stayed put. "What did you mean, then?" she asked innocently.

"Ralph has been training Fatty a lot," Vanellope mentioned, "but I don't think he's done anything with himself at all."

Snowanna snickered. "'Fatty'? Who are you talking about?"

"She's talking about that fox thing that's been coming around here lately," Minty spoke up without looking back.

Ralph held up his pointer. "Actually... Err..."

She crossed her arms. "So that's a no, then."

He slumped over a bit. "I haven't."

"Guess I was wrong," Minty stated as she turned back. "What is this 'training', exactly?"

"You tell 'em, Ralph," Vanellope commanded.

"Should I?"

Vanellope gave him a firm look and a nod.

"Alright." He took a deep breath. "Basically, I've been helping her work on this eating thing. Haven't been doing much for myself."

"And it shows," Vanellope commented, " but I know exactly what to do about that." She snapped her fingers. "Come on, Ralph!" Confidently, she went over to her cart and hopped in.

He shrugged, turned to the cart, and looked back at the other racers. "What are you guys gonna do now?"

"We'll think of something," Minty answered.

Adorabeezle backed away. "I'm going to find Taffyta and check on her." She spun around...

And had her shoulder grabbed by Snowanna. "Nuh-uh. She already has two people with her. Besides..." She leaned in on Adorabeezle's ear. "You know how she can be when she doesn't get her way."

Adorabeezle shook that hand off. "You saw what happened! It's not just about 'getting her own way', Snowanna..."

As the two argued, Minty watched, grimacing in exasperation. She then looked up at Ralph. "Ya best go now."

"I best," he said rather guiltily.

Ralph turned to the cart and headed for it. As he did so, he watched Vanellope roll her eyes at the show behind him. When Ralph was on the cart, Vanellope activated it and drove off.

* * *

Vanellope made it to the cart bakery in no time at all. After Beard Papa let her through, she drove to the back, where she and Ralph entered last time. Intuitively, she sharply turned halfway and stopped, nearly causing her passenger to topple over. Both of them hopped off the cart and faced the nearby, repainted door.

"I see where this is going," Ralph commented.

"You do, huh?"

Vanellope hopped up to get the door, only for it to open by itself. Sour Bill stepped out, eyeing his leader expectantly.

"I was expecting you," he droned. "You're late, Miss President."

"Sour Bill?" Ralph blurted as he recoiled. "What are you doing here?"

"Monthly inspection."

"That was today!?" Vanellope piped surprisedly, literally wiping the dumbfounded look off her face. "Arrgh, look. I need you to help me out," she flat out told him. "I'm going to make another cart with Ralph, but this time I want you to watch us."

Sour Bill's 'head' cocked towards her quizzically. "To supervise you?"

"Yea yea yea, to supervise us."

"Last time you two made a cart you destroyed the place."

Vanellope went up to Bill, put her hand on his head, and faced Ralph. "And that's why I want you to watch us." She pinched his cheek. "Come on, Billy Boy."

He indifferently removed her hands. "Fine." He placed his left foot through the door, which was when his voice developed a hint of irritation. "But if you destroy this minigame again, it'll be on you."

She shrugged. "Fair enough."

The two friends followed Bill to the selection room. Just like before, the room was completely dark with the exception of the big red button. Sour Bill stepped on it, triggering not only the typical cart buttons, but buttons for other vehicles like bulldozers. Lights had been turned on as well, highlighting the dark red curtains and the cherry red floor along with the possible carts.

"Huh, new carts, and lights." Ralph let his pointer shake for an extra second or two. "Why'd you change the place, kid?"

"We couldn't build the Party Crasher the old way. That and a lot of kids have been complaining about how boring it got."

"But the overhaul isn't why we inspect," Bill added. "It's protocol. We've been checking the bakery every month since day one." He tottered over to the same button Vanellope had pressed before; the one featuring a sleek, aerodynamic cart with a spoiler on the back. "Should we start with this one?"

"That's perfect!" Vanellope praised. "Hit it!"

Bill obeyed, and the curtain was lifted.

"Welcome to the bakery!" a rough but enthusiastic voice greeted. "Let's make a cart!"

Sour Bill took his sweet time entering the wing before Vanellope and Ralph breezed past him. Ralph quickly saw that it wasn't the mixing station in front of them, but something blockier, like a windowsill.

"You have not one, but two minutes to win it!" the announcer exclaimed.

"What did you add to this thing, Vanellope!?" Ralph implored as he ran.

"You'll find out soon enough!"

Once Ralph got close to the station, he knew exactly what his first challenge was. The area looked a lot like a downtown grocery store window, complete with open shutters and three conveyor belts resembling clotheslines. Beneath the display sat a little white shopping cart. Vanellope was already next to the steering wheel, which was just like the one at the mixing station.

"Go! BUYING!" the announcer cried.

It took Ralph a few panicked swipes to grab the wheel. Brown paper bags rode down the belts. A row of signs with pictures of groceries on them popped up between him and the rest of the station.

"Collect everything on the list, but make sure that what you're catching matches the highlighted sign!"

_Ding!_

The very first sign to the left, one with a jug of milk on it, was highlighted whereas the rest weren't. Ralph spotted a jug emerge from a bag and fall from the top line. He tried to steer the cart to where it was falling, and caught an orange before the cart could make it to where it should've went.

**Ehn-en.**

A big red 'X' was roughly smacked onto the first sign as the light moved on to the next, a bag of sugar. Luckily, a bag was following the unwanted orange, so Ralph didn't have to move a muscle.

_Ding ding!_

A green checkmark was slapped onto the second sign when the third was highlighted. Ralph shuffled the cart around as he waited for a case of eggs to fall. He dodged a rotten tomato, some rice, and even a tire before he caught the case, but then he literally lost control of the shopping cart. It climbed up this track before it dumped its contents into the left dispenser.

"COMBINING!" the announcer shouted.

Food slid out of the two chutes immediately.

"Put the ingredients in the bowl and throw away the trash!"

"Combin-? Nevermind, just keep that thing still, kid," Ralph ordered as he jumped over the railing.

"What are you-?" Sour Bill trailed off.

Vanellope held Ralph still as he quickly sorted through the stuff coming at him. The fire hydrant was bumped into the trash. A milk carton was grabbed and tossed into the mixing bowl. Ralph kept up until he absentmindedly forced a flour bag into the trash, which was when the bowl was carried off. An electric whisk was added to the mix, but it wasn't on. It wasn't until the bowl and the whisk was across another bowl and whisk did they stop.

"MIXING!"

A huge, pink spiral display popped up in the background. Ralph grabbed the whisk in front of him, crushing the handle. Sour Bill rolled his eyes, but Ralph pressed on. Not only did the spiral spin, but the whisk in front of it mirrored Ralph's movements.

"Stir the ingredients, but don't go too crazy..."

Ralph stirred too clumsily, too roughly, making the controlled whisk splatter batter everywhere.

"... or you'll lose the batter!"

"Slow down, Ralph!" Vanellope barked.

Ralph obeyed, and both the whisk and the spiral went really slow.

"Not that slow-" Vanellope paused as she saw the bowl go forward. "Nevermind."

They followed the bowl as it passed the batter onto a baking tray. The tray moved into a big red oven, where it waited to get heated.

"BAKING! Pump the heat and hold the perfect temperature!"

"I think I'll take it from here," Bill said as he got on the pump. He jumped up and down on only one foot, but the mercury stayed between the 'too cold' mark and the 'just right' mark.

"No no no, I got it." Ralph shooed Sour Bill off and pressed his right hand on the pump. The mercury went up to the 'just right' mark and stayed there as Ralph kneaded on the pump with pulsating rhythm.

"I see you remembered what happened last-" The lackey shut his eyes as the pump was smashed... again. "Time."

It didn't matter anyway, as the baked frame left the tray and slid down the belt. The frame was dropped off onto a big plate, surrounded by brightly colored specks. Ralph quickly scooped up a tiny flyswatter, which was connected to a bigger swatter.

"COOLING! Keep the flies away from your cart as it cools down!"

After some seconds of flailing about with the swatter and hitting bugs randomly, Ralph leaped over the railing and stood behind the cart. Some of the flies came at the cart, but he swatted them away before he was swatted himself.

"I've always wanted to do that," Bill admitted a tad smugly.

Vanellope knocked Sour Bill away from the controller and cupped her hands around her mouth. "Seventeen seconds!"

Flies were coating Ralph at that point, so he scrapped most of them off his chest and covered the cart with his torso and arms. He and the frame was carried off by the plate and dumped onto the belt. Ralph backed off, scurried to the pellet gun and held his right fist up.

"DECORATING!"

Quickly, four wheels were applied to the cart. Then, some red frosting and nuts were put on. Ralph let the cart slide on for a bit, but when he shot at the chocolate container at the very end of the station, it broke. Some chocolate got on the cart before it passed through, but the dispenser wouldn't close up. It tipped to the left, causing more and more containers to spill over. All Sour Bill could do was shake his head in disgust while watching the station fall apart... again. With one last look at what he'd have to clean up, he moved on to see the result of Ralph's 'handiwork'.

"Congratulations, you did it and heeere's your cart!"

Out of the little teal garage rolled something slightly more impressive than Ralph's last attempt. Unlike Vanellope's cart, there weren't any boosters, but it was much more pleasing to look at. The frame had brown swirls accompanying the red, and nuts evenly peppered the whole thing. The wheels were coated in chocolate, although there was more on the back wheels than the front, with rings of nuts forming the treads.

"Huh," Ralph grunted with his pointer on his chin.

"Not bad," Vanellope complimented. She hopped in the cart and turned it on. "Feels good. Alright, on to the next one!"

"The next one?" Ralph repeated as his friend got out.

"Yea. You _and_ the wing passed the inspection. Now, we're gonna try again on a different one!"

"Without Ralph," Sour Bill added sternly.

Vanellope took a few steps toward him with her arms wide open. "But we haven't done anything with the other wings ye-"

"No, you haven't _destroyed_ the other wings yet. Take Ralph home."

"Come on, Bill. It wasn't that bad."

He then crossed his 'arms'. "Take. Ralph. Home."

Vanellope's eyes nearly rolled to the back of her head as she let out an exaggerated sigh. "Alright, let's go."

The two friends were side by side as they went back the same way they came in, with the third wheel trailing behind. As they retraced their steps, Ralph studied each station, comparing the older ones to how they were when they first made a cart. Decorating part destroyed, check. Baking pump crushed, check. 'Combining' part not ruined, check. It wasn't as _bad_ as last time, he thought, it was about the _same_ as last time. In fact, because the whisk was crushed could've been a tiny bit worse if it wasn't for the fact that the wreckings happened later.

When they all left and the curtain closed behind them, Sour Bill didn't stay. He made a point to follow the two of them all the way back to her cart and watch Vanellope drive beyond the bakery's gate.

* * *

When Ralph and Vanellope arrived at the castle, the former opened the door himself as the cart continued to run. He went inside, and turned around to notice that Vanellope was still in her cart. She told him that she had to continue inspecting the bakery with Sour Bill, as it was her duty as President. He nodded, and she sped off, but not without calling him Stinkbrain. The first thing Ralph did after that was march up to his room. Not only had he clearly done enough today, but he needed the time to rest and organize his thoughts. He plopped on his bed, stomach down, and just breathed.

Life had gotten a bit complicated after Fix-It Felix Jr. got unplugged.

The month following the day he met Vanellope was great. For once in his life he lived in a house instead of on a pile of bricks, he was accepted, he had a friend.

How did a simple change of scenery make it go so wrong?

Then, Fluffy came along and convinced him that he should change to make others happy (he still believed her, but still). Then, Felix had to deal with whatever-was-wrong-with-him with a smile on his face. Then, it turned out that _Turbo's still alive_.

What happened, really?

Suddenly, the door slowly but squeakily opened, stopping halfway. Felix's head peeked through the crack as Ralph rose.

"Vanellope, have you seen-oh." He stepped inside and gently closed the door. "I've been looking for you everywhere, Ralph," he said softly. "Is everything alright?"

"Yup."

"And your friend?"

"Lauahi? Yeah, she's fine, too."

Felix let out a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness. You sounded pretty upset back in Hero's Duty."

The two of them picked up some faint footsteps. Was it Calhoun?

Ralph hesitated for a second, trying to hear who it was. "Yea." Ralph scratched his back. "I was warned, but I still didn't think that she needed food that badly."

The footsteps grew louder and louder. They were light pitter-patters instead of the hard thump of Calhoun's boots. Maybe it was a racer?

"Welp, now you know, right?"

The pitter-patters seeped through the door before they paused. Just then, Minty forced the door open. She was breathing deeply through her nose, as if she'd been running.

"Felix, come quick!" she urged strongly. "Turbo messed with Taffyta's cart!"

"What?" the men uttered simultaneously.

"Turbo broke Taffyta's cart and wrote a message with it." She 'wrote' on her hand with her pointer before she came up to them. "Look!"

Minty nudged the pair to the southwest window. They all peered out of one it, and both Ralph and Felix noticed that most of the racers, including Taffyta, were huddled around something on the royal raceway. When Ralph leaned out of the window with his hand over his eyes, he saw what looked like the message arranged using hot pink, rounded cart parts. Squinting, he could make out the word 'You' and a 'T'. Ralph scrambled to his bed, lifted it, and dug out two root beer bottles, much to Felix's disgust and Minty's slight exasperation. He held the mouths over his eyes, which was when he could clearly read it.

"'You were my favorite, Taffyta'," Ralph read aloud.

'"Oh my." Felix eyed the message for a moment before taking up his hammer, jogging out of the room. "I'll have it fixed in just a bit, fellas."

Ralph figured that he'd go with him and Minty, seeing how he didn't know how Taffyta really felt about Turbo. She never talked about him or even mentioned him. Maybe, just maybe, Ralph could finally figure out what Taffyta really wanted.

Wait...

Wow, life did get complicated.


	19. Slow and Subtle

**Chapter 18**

**Slow and Subtle**

It was the very next day when Lauahi stepped off of the bottom of Mount Sourest and peered behind it. She scanned around for a sign of the strange man she met yesterday, and found none. Slowly, she trekked deeper and deeper into the woods until she was at the foot of the largest cone mountain. After looking around for one last time, Lauahi sighed through her nose. _I guess he isn't here_, she thought disappointedly.

Suddenly, an owl's hoo-hooing came down from one of the trees. Lauahi looked up and saw the man pressing himself rather heavily against against it, his eyes wide and panicked.

He looked down at Lauahi, and he relaxed immediately. "You made it!" he exclaimed

He leaped down branch by branch, and when he landed on the ground, rubbed his hands together.

"Now, I discovered something very important after we separated," Turbo admitted as he wagged his finger. "I can't really explain it without sounding crazy, so you have to do something a bit..." His entire body froze before his head turned dramatically toward Lauahi. "Drastic."

Lauahi's mouth opened, giving her a confused expression, but no words came out of it.

He closed his eyes as he took a step backwards, sharply exhaling through his nose. "Okay." The glitch squeezed his eyes shut and tightened his body up, standing stiffly. "Hit me!"

Lauahi brought her pointer up to her lip. "Aha?"

Just then, Turbo's body fell limp as he stared at Lauahi with wide eyes. "'Aha'? What does that have to do with hitting me? Did you see something?" He swung his body around and vigilantly scanned for 'the enemy'. "One of Vanellope's acid-spraying tanks, perhaps?"

Her arm mildly let itself down. "No. 'Aha' is 'what' in my language, and I doubt that acid even _exists_ here, let alone tanks."

Her acquaintance fell limp again, and turned his head back to her. "Your language?"

"Yes," she confirmed innocently. "It's Hawaiian."

"Never heard of it," he remarked as he turned all the way back to Lauahi. Quickly, he started messing around with his hands. "Now where were we? Oh yes, hit me!" He tightened up again. "But not too hard."

Her ears drooped halfway as she recoiled a bit. "Should I?"

Turbo loosened up and opened his arms. "Yes! By _all means_-"

Lauahi weakly slapped him, and his head barely moved.

"Come on," he complained. "You're three, four times my size. You can do better than-"

Lauahi firmly backhanded Turbo across the face. He spun on his right foot, glitching like mad, before he collapsed onto his stomach. The pixels consuming him then multiplied rapidly. As she watched it happen, she backed away a few steps. When she saw Turbo's new 'head', her mouth hung open in bemusement. The 'new' Lauahi slowly got up as the pixels faded.

"Owww..." 'Lauahi' moaned in the original's voice. He pressed his new hand on his cheek. "I told you not to hit me so hard!"

The real thing's hand rose to her chin. "Sorry..."

Turbo glared at her before he blinked, suddenly staring off into space. He took a deep breath and blew hard, but not even smoke came out of his mouth.

"How did you know that I can breathe fire?"

"I sa-**w** _y_ou **d-**O _**it**_." More pixels consumed him. They washed over him like a wave, turning him back to his normal self.

Lauahi's head cocked to the side, her eyebrow raised. "How does that work?"

The now tiny man examined his hand before he started fooling around with both of his hands again. "It's my code..."

"Code," she flatly repeated. "Howdo these codes work!? Nobody seems to know and the one guy that does won't tell me!" The much larger character stomped her foot.

Turbo's hands came apart. _Questionsquestionsquestions. _"So I will. You know what blueprints are, right?"

"I know that code tells games what to do, but _how_!? What does code even look like!?" She laid her hand on her head as she turned away from him.

Behind her back, Turbo made claws out of his fingers and snarled before calming down. "I've seen code before, but..." He slid his hand over his scalp. "I don't remember what it looks like." _So the basics aren't enough for this idiot. Like I'd tell __anyone__ about the best thing I have going!_

"It was probably before..." Lauahi paused, laying her finger on her lip. "...whatever happened."

"Well that's besides the point. Today, we're gonna do a quick exercise."

"What exercise?"

The glitch held out his arm. "Grab my arm and squeeze it; not hard enough to hurt me, but just enough to for me to transform again."

Lauahi hesitated, but obeyed. Not wanting to break the poor guy's arm, she squeezed it gently. Seeing that Turbo wasn't changing, she gradually applied more and more force until his arm turned red and grew. Slowly, yet unsteadily, the rest of his body followed suit. When he was finished, Turbo looked at the heavily concentrating Lauahi with a wicked grin.

He smoothed it out, preparing for his next act. "So. What is _your_ game like?"

She lifted her head. "My game?"

"Yea. Is it like this one?"

Her attention returned to her squeezing his arm. "Not at all. My game's not as big or bright. It's basically a beach with a jungle behind it."

Turbo leaned in on her. "Who's in charge?"

Lauahi's upper body backed away. "No one. The good guys live in their house, and I live in mine."

"That's strange, and I've seen a plaid zombie trapeze in midair."

She stared at him, her eyes slightly narrowed.

Turbo scratched his head. "What were games like back then...? Oh yes! Back then, the good guy ran his game, and no one questioned him."

Lauahi's eyes returned to normal. "It's not that. That zombie thing sounds like a hallucination."

"I can't tell anymore..." _Of course that was a hallucination. I knew it was one the second I had it. But you know, anything to keep up the act. _"So yea, the good guys don't run the show?"

"They're too busy with each other. Even if they tried, the jungle tribe wouldn't listen to them."

_Who cares about the tribe? I'm on to something. _"So they're like a family."

"Technically. There's two 'grown-ups'," she explained as she held up two fingers. "Boris and Helen. I don't think that they're married, but they raise these... kids."

"So, what?" He held out his free hand. "Are the kids hellions?"

"The opposite. They're so defenseless that they have very little thoughts or feelings of their own. It's... part of the reason why we tend to stay away from each other."

"I see." As he felt Lauahi's grip get looser, he rubbed his chin. "These 'Boris' and 'Helen' guys are afraid that the big mean bad guy would hurt them."

Her eyes became downcast as her ears drooped. "Wrong. The 'big mean bad guy' has tried to hurt them several times. They..." Feeling her mouth water, she tightened her lips. After she shook her head wildly, she frowned. "I don't wanna talk about them."

He felt Lauahi's grip get a bit lighter, and pretended to nervously chuckle. _I think I've got this beast where I want it. Time to switch tactics. _"Okay okay, change of subject. You've been around Vanellope and Ralph before, right?"

She grunted and gave a quick nod.

"If that's the case, then have you ever considered that they're hiding something?"

Lauahi grimaced, annoyed. _Enough already._ "No. They aren't. They're not hiding guns or sharks or anything."

"Not that," Turbo corrected as he shook his free hand. "Don't you think that they're helping you not because they _want_ to help you, but because they want to get you out of their hair?"

She just looked at him blankly.

The stare was returned in kind. "I mean... think about i-" He paused as the stare morphed into a more frightened expression. "Wait, it's not-"

Lauahi let go of his arm and rapidly moved back, snarling. Turbo's eyes widened as the bad guy started _advancing_, smoke leaking from her mouth. As his glitch cut him down to size, he backed into a tree. He tried to go around the tree, but Lauahi's hand caught the collar of his jumpsuit. She lifted Turbo and pinned him to a part of the trunk that was as high as her. The smoke escaping her mouth made Turbo's eyes water and his nose crinkle.

"Stop talking about Ralph and Vanellope," she scolded lowly as she jabbed her finger into him. "You don't know _either_ of them, and if you hallucinate, then you're not right in the head. Stop talking about Ralph and Vanellope."

She dropped him and took a few steps back, angrily waiting for him to say something.

_Backpedalbackpedalbackpedalbackpedal_. "Okay, fine." He calmed down and spread his hands out. "I won't talk about Ralph or Vanellope. Just consider that not everyone that's nice to you is your friend."

_But they __are__ my friends. _Stepping forward, Lauahi pushed a gush of fire through her teeth. "Stop that."

Turbo stepped forward as well, if unconsciously. "No. I've been around for much longer than you have, and that's one of the most important things you have to know." He crossed his arms. "You're very blunt. There's very few people like that."

All the anger on Lauahi's face, in her posture, everything, vanished. "Very few?"

"Yes, very few." He unfolded his arms and repeatedly waved his hand back and forth, close to his face. "People wear masks all the time. It helps them blend in, you see."

Lauahi's face lit back up. "That doesn't make any sense!" She stomped, again.

"But it does. You know how some people tend to hate bad guys?"

"Yes," she fumed.

"Well, not all of those people are old. They saw how most bad guys aren't really bad guys at all," he explained as he kept his pointer up, "but society taught them otherwise."

"What does that have to do with 'masks'?"

"Both good guys and society taught people to hate bad guys, but _life_ taught them to wear masks. Except it taught _everyone_ to wear them. Maybe you'll develop one yourself as you grow older."

Her voice became a bit smaller than Turbo anticipated. "Why would I do that?"

"Because that's how people **adapt**," he answered, sternly pointing at the ground. "People don't just force themselves to change, whoeveryouare! They can change organically." Turbo's eyes rolled before he defeatedly laid his head in his hand. "You know so little about the world. It's amazing."

Lauahi held her arm as her tail curled around her leg.

Turbo remained quiet, too, as his face softened. _Okay, I have to be slow and subtle, here. _"I know you just got plugged in," he said gently, "but that's how the world works." _Slow and subtle._

She threw her back against another tree and gazed at the sky.

_Ohhh no_, Turbo thought, _now it's gonna ask-_

"How does 'life' teach them that?" Lauahi looked back at Turbo.

_Not what I expected, but okay. _He deeply inhaled. "Simple. People are rewarded for doing things that sometimes contradicts what they really want. Other times they're punished for doing what they want to do."

Lauahi's upper body slid down the tree it was leaning on as her knees bended. As she sat, she placed her lower arms on her knees and rested her head on them.

Turbo waited a couple seconds for her to say anything else. He massaged his scalp before he rubbed his hands. "So our session's done for today?"

"Guess so," she muttered.

"Alright. Next one will be the day after tomorrow, you hear me?" Turbo declared as he took off. "The day_ after _tomorrow!" _It's too early_, he thought as he scurried away. Nex_t time, I should concentrate on the shapeshifting._

Lauahi didn't say anything and mindlessly dug out a piece of the ground. She held it up to her (open) mouth before she chucked it aside and put her arm back to where it was. Why exactly would people hide themselves like that, despite what 'life' said? Boris and Helen didn't seem to have much wrong with them, so wasn't it the same for other people? Were they different? Or were other people the same way, but somehow their desires went against reality?

Lauahi's thoughts paused as she slumped further on her arms. She should've asked the man about those things earlier. The more she found out about the world, the more confusing it became. But should she even believe him? Besides his unstability, what if he was hiding something, too? Something was missing for Lauahi. She really needed a different perspective. Later on, she should ask Ralph, Felix or even Helen about these kinds of things (Vanellope would make fun of her, no doubt.).

She really did know little about the world.


	20. How Coding Works

**Chapter 19**

**How Coding Works**

For a few minutes, Lauahi tried to pick out who to ask about these 'masks' first. Her first choice was Helen, but Lauahi remembered how she'd be around Boris and those trea- _kids_ at that time of day. Next, she thought about Felix. Her ears listened for anything from what seemed to be his office, and discovered a quiet but jumbled mess of funny sounding boops and chatter about a party. The final possibility was Ralph. There was a fifty-fifty chance that Vanellope would be around by the time she'd find him. And after being told that she was stupid and how both Vanellope and Ralph felt that she was a nuisance, the last thing Lauahi wanted was to be called 'Fatty'. Then again, a fifty percent chance was better than a hundred in that case. That, and Ralph had reeled Vanellope in when she went too far. It was clear which one was the best choice.

Lauahi finally got up, dusted herself down, and started making her way out of the woods. Once she was out, she kneeled down and sniffed the ground, trying to pick up a specific scent. Catching a whiff of it, she followed the smell back to Mount Sourest. There, she tried to find the spot where it was strongest; where Ralph had been most recently. At the very bottom of the hill, the smell was very uniform. But as Lauahi went further out, she found that it was strongest at the slope's left. From there, she followed it past the raceway, through the junkyard, all the way to a sugar white beach with pink waters. Fifty or so feet from Lauahi, Ralph lied flat on his back, sleeping on the sand with Vanellope at his side. Vanellope's cart rested a few feet behind them.

Lauahi frowned a bit as her ears drooped. She wasn't fast enough to find him awake. She didn't even stop to eat once-

Hold on.

She didn't stop to eat once.

Lauahi whimpered and held her stomach as she kept an eye on the sleeping duo. On one hand, that was probably the longest she went without feeling bad. On the other, _shefeelsreallyhungrynowwhywasherbodylikethismakeit stop_.

With one eye on them, she walked over to a tiny taffy canoe and took a few bites out of it, stopping when she saw some hard candy surfboards. With her focus locked on the boards, she picked the boat up and dragged it to them. She broke some of the boards up into smaller pieces, putting them into the boat as she frantically devoured the rest. When she was done, she tugged the canoe to some bushes, then to a truffle, then to a giant cherry...

There was so much food in that canoe by the time Lauahi was done that once she dragged it back to the beach, the part of it between Lauahi's hand and her stockpile was _stretching_. Strenuously pulling the boat with one hand and eating its contents with the other, Lauahi didn't pay any attention to the boat itself or the fact that Vanellope was waking up. Suddenly, the boat stopped moving, even when Lauahi was moving backwards as she pulled it with both hands. She looked at the part she was pulling on and found that the area that was stretching had stretched into a long, thin line. Lauahi growled irately, ate the part of the canoe she was holding, and sat down to eat the rest of her hoard.

Just as she got started, she saw a flash of blue light to her right.

"Whatcha doin' here, Fatty?"

Instead of facing Vanellope, Lauahi resumed bingeing. "Leave me alone," she ordered with a hint of sadness.

"'Leave you alone'? Why are you so close to us, then?" Vanellope asked innocently.

"I wanted to ask Ralph something."

"Ask him what?"

Lauahi stopped eating and faced her. "Have you ever heard of the concept of 'masks'?"

Vanellope cocked her head to the side. "Masks?"

"I was told that people hide their true selves to fit in. Is this true?"

"Well, yea," Vanellope confirmed. "Do you really think that people would be stupid enough to show everything about themselves from the get-go?"

_She's not making fun of me?_ "No, like-"

"Who told you about 'masks'?" they heard Ralph mumble from behind the pile.

Lauahi rocked back and forth somewhat nervously. The man clearly hated Ralph and Vanellope, but he obviously had enough to deal with. "Boris," she answered uncomfortably. Then, she took another bite out of her stock.

"The guy who actually believes that we can stay conscious in an unplugged game?" he grumbled tiredly.

Lauahi paused, stared at the pile, and bowed her head down. "Yes."

"I remember him," Vanellope admitted as Ralph lumbered to Lauahi's left. "The guy's clearly scared of you. That's why he talked about masks. Ignore him."

"Except he's right in a way," Ralph clarified as he took some candy from Lauahi's pile. "People do 'wear masks', but they don't do it to hurt others. They do it to protect themselves." He popped the pieces into his mouth.

_Huh._ "From other people?" Lauahi asked.

"Exactly."

"But most people don't go out of their way to attack others, do they?"

"They don't, but that's not the thing." Ralph's head idly fell before he picked it back up. "Calhoun has this backstory where her fiance died to a cybug at their wedding. That's why she acts the way she does, to prevent herself from getting hurt by anybody."

Lauahi's mouth opened slightly. "That... doesn't make any sense. She's a sergeant who can hit anyone for looking at her the wrong way. She has nothing to worry about."

"I know it doesn't make much sense, nothing Calhoun does makes sense. But if it helps you make sense of everything else, remember this; Hero's Duty is not that much older than your game. Calhoun knows that her backstory's over, but her code's still new. You don't have to be old to wear a mask."

"I guess that helps." Lauahi slouched over and laid her head in her hands. "Everything goes back to codes..." she speculated. "What do codes even look like?"

"Oh," Vanellope uttered, "they look like a bunch of neon colored boxes in a big web connected by wires."

Lauahi stared at her confusedly. "What?"

"A game's code is actually a bunch of neon boxes, one for each important thing in a game. Inside of each box there's a bunch of tiny, holographic boxes, each for a thing associated with the thing the code's for. The code boxes are connected to each other by wires in a big network. Does that make sense?"

"It does." Lauahi thoughtlessly stuffed another piece of food in her mouth, and left her hand there as her head tilted. "Wait..."

Suddenly, the sound of an engine hummed throughout the beach. The three of them turned to the road on which they all arrived on, and saw Taffyta's cart come into view. From far away, the cart looked fine, but when it unsteadily blazed towards the beachgoers, all sorts of black scrawlings and scribblings were visible. Taffyta's cart clumsily drifted to a nearby canoe, where it finally rested. Taffyta herself hopped out of her cart with singed hair splaying from her face. She marched to the three with a sort of cool anger. Her eyes latched onto Lauahi's food pile, and then onto Lauahi herself as they narrowed with disgust.

Does she hate me, too? Lauahi thought.

"Vanellope," she began, "while you were having a picnic, I had my cart scrawled on, my starter literally jammed, my rear axle melted, and my steering wheel booby-trapped, all because Turbo is a maniac. Find him."

All eyes were on Vanellope as she held her chin as she focused on the ground. Then, she looked back up and snapped her fingers. "I know exactly how we can do that!" She and Ralph ran to the unharmed cart. "Take my cart."

"But what about _my_ cart?" Taffyta asked upsetly. "I can't just leave it here!"

Vanellope gestured to her old friend. "Ralph can hold it."

Taffyta sighed and shook her head. "That's even worse," she muttered.

"Don't worry about it," Ralph gruffly advised. "I won't break it. Yet."

As Ralph grabbed the rigged cart, both its owner and Lauahi followed Vanellope to the 'good' cart. Taffyta examined the cart's size before noting the size of its other passengers.

"Uh, hey," Taffyta irritably called out as she tapped Lauahi's arm. "Don't you have some 'business' to take care of?" She pointed to Lauahi's stock.

"But I want to find out what code really looks like," Lauahi responded with her arms opened up.

Vanellope slid into her seat and looked behind herself. "But I justtoldyou what code looks like," she reminded gently. "Hmm..." She cupped a hand around her mouth. "Hey, Ralph! You think it's a good idea to bring Fatty along!?"

"It's not," Taffyta mumbled to herself.

Carrying the bad cart on his shoulder, Ralph stayed quiet for a bit. "Well, it's not like she's gonna_ be _in the code room. So yea, we could take her."

"Alright!" Vanellope pressed the start button, powering up the cart.

Taffyta slouched over, gawking. "Let me guess, I have to sit on someone's lap?"

"Would you rather sit in your cart as I carry it?" Ralph asked irritably.

The little girl sharply exhaled through her nose, and stood aside for Lauahi to get on. Taffyta climbed onto her lap immediately. Taffyta leaned on Lauahi's stomach before the former pulled herself away in disgust.

She does_, _Lauahi noted.

When Ralph got on, holding Taffyta's cart like a dinner plate, its owner crossed her arms.

Vanellope got going a bit too fast, causing the vandalized cart to wobble around on Ralph's palm.

In the throne room, Vanellope looked behind herself as she slunk behind the shiny curtains and into a very metallic hallway. Ralph and Lauahi had to squat to follow her, but the way to the first, automatic door was short. That door revealed something very unlike Sugar Rush; a circular room with light blue, pulsing tubes latched into the walls and a plastic, red rope on the floor. In fact, the NES controller on the actual door was replaced with that of a Playstation 2. Everyone but Lauahi ignored those things as Ralph huddled around Vanellope, who entered the new combination: down, down, up, up, right, left, right, left, R3, L3, and start. As the door opened, Ralph tied the rope around Vanellope's waist.

"Good luck, Vanellope," he encouraged softly.

"I don't need luck!"

She jumped in and started swimming to a small purple box labeled 'Icons'. After tapping the thing twice, she scanned through a bunch of words until she found a tiny cube with King Candy's leaderboard icon on it. She plucked the cube out and swam outside the web to Turbo's code, which was where Vanellope's used to be.

Turbo's code was still five times the size of the others, and it still said 'King Candy', but it had no wires attached. It had Turbo's ugly, 8-bit face on it instead of King Candy's. The holes left behind by the wires spat out electricity. Vanellope kept her distance as she tapped the box twice, revealing a web even more chaotic than the one beyond it. She inserted the cube into the box...

And it was forced back out instantly.

Stunned, Vanellope tried again, and again, and again, and every time the icon was forced out of Turbo's code. She held on to the rejected cube as she tried to make sense of the mess in front of her. Two boxes stood out to her; one with a cybug on it, and another with a different, plainer King Candy on it. Impulsively, Vanellope took both of them out and tried to put the icon back in, only to find that it was still being rejected. She shook her head and put the other bits of code back in...

Only to find that they were rejected, too.

_What's going on? _

Vanellope put the icon in her hoodie pocket and, for a short while, didn't touch the rest of the code. There was so much junk in the creep's code that him being alive was a complete miracle.

Wait.

So much junk.

Vanellope quickly went at the code, digging out anything that seemed useless. She wanted to find Turbo and have him in the Fungeon, not for him to become something even more creepy. She dug out a cart, a skateboard, a taco, a trophy. Only when there was code _orbiting_ her did she stop. She whipped out the icon and again tried to put it in, only to have it, again, get spat out. Out of confusion, she took most of the code that she'd removed and tried put the things back in, which was generally hit and miss. Some stayed in, others got spat back out.

With the icon in her hand, Vanellope stopped and held her finger to her lip. Then, she placed the icon back in her pocket and resumed tossing code at the box as she tried to find the cybug and King Candy cubes again. Some boxes bounced off, of course, but that didn't stop Vanellope from finding the King Candy code. She put that in her pocket and, without touching the other rejected boxes, searched through them. She found the cybug code hovering just above her head, at which she didn't even chuckle, but she grabbed the thing and shoved it into her pocket.

That was when she started to clean up. At times it took her ten tries to get a single object in, but she managed to get all of the bits back in the box. Vanellope took the time to stretch and pull out all three of the boxes that she wanted, letting them hover patiently around her.

"Okay," she said to herself, "let's see if this works."

She grabbed the King Candy code and the cybug code and pressed the two together, causing them to merge and her to let out an excited 'Yes!'. The new box flashed constantly, alternating between King Candy's image and that of a cybug. Then, Vanellope took the new box and the icon and pressed those together, but they wouldn't merge. Snarling, Vanellope pressed those things together repeatedly, but they just wouldn't merge. After a few, long minutes, she gave out a defeated sigh, and gently placed the new code in with the others. The icon was returned to its rightful home, and Vanellope was about to tug on her rope when, much to her surprise, she was pulled out anyway.

"Woah," she uttered, "I wasn't in there _that long_, Ralph."

When she faced the door through which she came, she found Felix pulling on the rope with both Ralph and Lauahi peering over him. When Vanellope was out and the door slammed shut, her mouth was agape with confusion.

"Felix," she addressed as she untied her rope, "what's going-"

"Vanellope, you've just started learning about coding," Felix sternly scolded. "A game's coding is _fragile_, you should've came to me before you started doing anything."

"Felix, Turbo vandalized my cart so much that I can't drive it!" Taffyta rebutted. "We have to find him before he does something even worse!"

"Then you should've came to me either way. An entire game is not worth a single cart."

"Wait, _you_ know about codes?" Lauahi asked.

Felix gave a quick nod. "Yes I do, Miss." He went to her side.

Lauahi started walking, and Felix stayed with her. "So, can I ask you something?"

"Well, what'll that be?" Felix looked behind him. "Come on now," he ordered as he motioned to the automatic door.

The other characters went behind him. The automatic door opened, and everyone got outside.

"What are those blue tubes for?" Lauahi inquired.

He took a quick look at the door, and kept going. "That's how the code's connected to the world it creates, if that makes sense."

Lauahi stayed at his side. "So they're how code's translated into..." She examined her arm as the two of them met the shiny curtain. "Into..."

Felix held the curtain away for her. "Pixels?"

"'Pixels'?"

She went past the curtain, and Felix followed. The curtain fell as Taffyta glared at it, her teeth grinding. She muttered 'unbelieveable' and marched through it, leaving Vanellope and Ralph alone to stare at it.

"Wanna try again?" Vanellope asked.

"Yea."

With their eyes on the curtain, the two of them reentered the tiny hallway. Ralph reattached the rope as Vanellope put the combination in. She took off, but her friend watched the door behind him, not her.

Instead of the icon code or Turbo's, Vanellope went to the box labeled 'Display'. She tapped and searched through it, only for her to find herself stumped. The contents were all letters and symbols in various fonts, not icons. She took a box out and tried to pull it apart, but it stayed intact. She then hit it on her knee, and nothing happened.

Why did Felix say that coding was fragile?

Vanellope took out another box and pressed it against the one she had already, just like she did with Turbo's code. Oddly enough, they wouldn't mesh. She put the boxes back, swam to the icon code, and popped it open. After examining it, she found no available icons that could be merged with King Candy's. She took King Candy's icon, anyway, and swam back to the display code. After scrolling through and finding an exclamation point, she yanked it out and hit it against the icon.

Nothing happened.

Vanellope shook her head and put both codes back to their proper places. After looking around at the rest of the coding, she gave out a defeated groan. There was too much for even her to deal with. She tugged on her rope, causing Ralph to pull her back. As she was reeled in, Vanellope wished to herself that Fatty was around when the new combination was being installed. The dope could get all kinds of information out of Clyde and Tapper.

They were the ones that installed it, after all, not Felix. They'd know what's what.


End file.
